[Clare 01]

Hi, I’m new to this forum and this is the first time I’ve ever posted. I’ve known about my husbands problem for 8 years. In that time i feel like i’ve heard every lie and every excuse possible. He’s acknowledged he had a problem back then and in that time he’s been trying GA, Private counselling and hypnotherapy to try and overcome it. It hasn’t worked. Since the start of this year, his gambling has been unstoppable. We have three children together and I know my husband does want a life with us, but i’ve made the decision that he has to leave. I can’t think of anything else to do to try and help him. I’m hoping this will give him the shock he needs and give him something to fight for…..deep down I know thats not the case. I know in my head this is the right thing to do. I can’t deal with any more lies or any more debt. We’re up to our eyes in debt. I’m struggling to deal with the decision i have made though. I don’t want it to be over, he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I can’t think of a future without him. I’m scared. I have three young children who need me and I’m an emotional wreck right now.

[velvet]

Hi Clare
I am so pleased that you have posted, I hope that by sharing here you will find greater peace of mind.
The decision you have made has obviously been made after many sleepless nights and confusing days – you have tried and tried to make things work but your husband’s addiction is so far out of control that you can’t take anymore – your decision is therefore understandable.
Have you actually told him to go yet or is he still in the home?
If you haven’t reached that point , I think it would be good to stand still awhile and talk with us, giving yourself time to hopefully understand more and maybe explore new avenues of thought. Rest assured that nobody will ever tell you to leave or to stay, all decisions must be yours. I have a Friends and family group this evening between 20.00 – 21.00 hours UK time. It would be good, I think, for us to communicate in real time. Nothing said in that group appears on the forum, it is private and safe. I would like to hear more about you so that I can support you in the best way possible.
I’m going to send this post now in the hope that you return to the forum shortly – if not I will write further tomorrow.
Hoping to communicate with you later
Velvet

[velvet]

Hi Clare
I am hoping to hear from you soon with some answers to the questions I posed last night.
Not every CG responds to GA, not every counsellor is aware of the toxicity of the addiction to gamble. Your believe that you husband wants a life with you and his children which offers hope that he would stop gambling if he had to tools to do so.
My question to you is therefore – what do you want? You feel in your head that the right thing to do is to tell your husband to leave and maybe it is but I hope that you will return to this forum soon so that you can know in your heart as well what is right for you.
You are afraid and I understand that. I don’t know what your outcome will be but I hope that if you can talk about the terrible circumstances that have brought you to this point, with those of us who understand, maybe you will be less afraid.
Emotional wrecks need a lot glue to put them back together but I believe that this site has tons of the right glue and once we find the right glue we can start rebuilding.
Speak soon
Velvet

[Autor]

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