Start of Day 2
Firstly I would like to thank Zoya, Charles and Slotjunkie for the chats they had with me yesterday. Particularly Charles who gave me plenty of ideas how to put things in place to stop and to put things in perspective. The chat groups are so useful.
I have now registered with Gamstop and messages are coming through about accounts being closed down. I will also be self excluding from bookmakers shops. As that leaves potential to bet again.
I will also be attending gamblers anonymous. I have done this before but paid it lip service. I never went on Gamstop back then, yes, I self excluded from a lot of sites, I put a block on my lap top. I blocked my bank card (this was able to be unblocked with a 3 day wait, not enough for someone with an appetite for destruction). But I never blocked my phone, or excluded from bookies.
I realise I just wasn’t committed enough, guess I always thought I could go back. Control it this time, maybe experience the buzz of winning again.
Now I have had a bit of a “light bulb” moment. I CAN’T control it, gambling controls me. I am not able, to have a fun bet, maybe that is sad, but at the end of the day I CAN be better off without the need to gamble.
This time I can stop for good. I can’t look back. What is gone is gone. I can use this experience to be a better man.
Those moments when I used to jump about the room and clench my fists after a big win (that I would inevitably give back) Can be replaced by a clenching of fists that at the end of the day I HAVE NOT GAMBLED.
