[reallyneedhelp]

Well, I have thought about posting and thought about posting but i have stayed away because of shame.  I few months ago i posted that i am determined to make this my last time gambling. I made it almost 89 days and then i had a slipup. The slipup was for only $40, which is what i told myself. I walked into casino played a little then realized that i didnt want to start again and left. This seemed like a great result since i usually lose hundreds. Since then i have slipped again a few times. Everytime as i was leaving the casino i put into my cell phone calender that the next day would be the first day of not gambling. I have done this over five times since then. Two nights ago i won two hundred dollars from an initial two hundred i played. Tonight i took that two hundred dollars and lost it because i wanted to increase it by another few hundred. I feel horrible. I think i purposely avoided this website so that i wouldnt feel more guilty as i gambled. I know already felt shame because during my 88 days without gambling, i posted about wonderful things i have been doing. I feel like writing that i know that i can never stop gambling etc, but in my heart i know that i can but i have to work for it. I do the same thing with weight loss. I want to lose a few pounds but never want to work for it so i constantly am thinking about it with negative thoughts instead of just working out a little. I havent done the work it taked to stop gambling and i definitely can see the results. Today i will try even harder to be able to go into the holiday seasons with a stronger resolve to quit.

[Autor]

Wpisy