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    • #44626
      joeygamble
      Deltaker
      I was debating whether or not to share my journey, I have decided that I will, because if even one person is going through this and see’s my journey, he/she will know they’re not alone.  
      Apologies in advance if this journal is all over the place, I am writing what comes to mind first. I will be as personable as possible to show others who are going through the same that there really truly is people out there like yourselves. I will do so while hiding who I am in case someone I know ever reads this (I am ashamed of my gambling issue) 
      I am 21 years old and have been working since I am 18. I have a job that pays nearly 6 figures a year after taxes and all, yes I know it is hard to believe but I was very lucky and worked extremely hard. What do I do you may ask? Again without revealing to much about who I am, I work in the computer software field. I am very fortunate, thankful and appreciative for the job I have. In no way am I trying to brag, I feel like me giving numbers will help this journal, and as no one knows who I am, who am I bragging to? LOL. I don’t go around like a million dollars, it’s just not who I am. I live a simple life at home with my parents. Over the few years I have been working I managed to save up 70k after the few bills I have to pay every month and getting the car I wanted. All was going well. 
      2 years ago I had a mini addiction to scratch offs which I got over quite fast, I maybe spent $3k-$4k the whole year on them. I was proud of myself for overcoming it, and things went on. Fast forward to 3 months ago, I finally took a well deserved 3 day vacation from work. On the second day of vacation my plans got cancelled for whatever reason. I was driving around and remembered a friend had always asked me to go to a casino with him that was nearby and I always shrugged him off. A big mistake I made that day: I walked into the casino, something I wish to this day I would have never done. But what can a $500 loss do already? I HAD so much saved up! As you can imagine, I went in and lost that $500, what repeated after was relatable to anyone who is struggling with gambling, I wasted over $2k that day but that didn’t phase me at all, I left and went to my hotel. Next morning comes and I just have this crazy urge to go back I give in go back and lose another $2k. Now for about a week I was fine as I was so occupied with work after vacation that i didn’t even remember about the losses but then the following weekend I went again and lost $5k in a single night. Now keep in mind you generally do not lose $1k at one time, it is over the course of a few machines. Going once a week let to going 5-7 times a week losing $500-$1k each time! I did enjoy myself there meeting a whole bunch of interesting characters that wasted even more money than I have but as you leave reality sets back in to place. There is no concept of money once you step food into a casino, any sense of value is outside those casino doors. I refused to buy myself a pair of shoes because they were $5 more than last time, yet I go to the casino and gamble 10x that! I wasted nearly $20k, I lost count at some point, in the casino, the same casino mind you. It has come to a point where I see I have a massive issue on hand and I am addressing it to the best I can. I went to the casino again last night and wasted $1.3k again! At this point I have put most of my money in High Yield Online Savings accounts and I put it online for 2 reasons. 1. Interest rates are high! 2. I do not have easy access to cash, it takes 4 days to transfer money to my regular bank and in that time I can think about what I am doing. All you need is an extra minute before withdrawing from the ATM to think about what you are doing and walk out. I have set certain rules for myself: no taking money from savings, no cash advances, no bringing cards to the casino. Thankfully it has been working well for me as I know I will/should not break these rules. 
      A few tips to help while you’re at the casino:
      1. Bring cash and ID, nothing else!
      2. Try to get up at least once and hour and walk a few steps to clear your mind.
      3. Don’t stay hungry/thirsty. I found that when I am either of the two my decision making isn’t great.
      I hope to overcome this, it will not be easy but I know I can do it! 
      Anxious to hear what everyone has to say or if you have tips or advice. I will be updating this periodically. 
    • #44627
      charles
      Moderator

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #44628
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Joey, As you have found, it is a gambling addiction. It doesn’t care whether our «drug of choice» is the scratch cards, the casino or anything else, it just looks for a way to get it’s fix. Read the other stories here, you will see many stories similoar to your own. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation? Whilst you have good intentions i would not recommedn your advice to anyone reading, nor to yourself. If we were able to control our gamblign then we wouldn’t be in trouble in the first place. I would recommend against keeping the addiction ticking over, rather than attempt the limits you propose you would be better asking that casino to exclude you. It is a gambling addiction; avoidfing all forms of gamboing gives you a better chance of success. You will also read how accoutability helps. Do your parents know about your gambling? Or that it has been a problem? It is good that you have put some of your money a few days away from you, as you say, thinking time is key. Your parents could help with further accountability.

      Keep posting and again, i would recommend getting excluded from that casino rather than looking for a «control» we haven’t found in the past.

      I had to delete your email address.  This is the world wide web and it is not the best place to share it.  You can talk to others in the groups we have here, check out the schedule. You will also get people responding here as well. 

    • #44629
      joeygamble
      Deltaker

      I appreciate your response but I found that stopping cold turkey made things much worse. I guess everyone is different. I tried not going for a week and the urge was 10x more. Now I go with way less cash and satisfy the urge that way. I have noticed each time I go the urge gets less and less. If someone is in debt and has no cash I agree with you, self exclude etc but if you have cash and you are in the beginning stages stopping cold turkey never works. Unlike drugs which has a health effect and it scares people, the casino is different because people have jobs and you think you will make this money back. 

      What you write is true »If we were able to control our gambling then we wouldn’t be in trouble in the first place. » but look at now and the situation, maybe you will learn self control from it? Again I am thankful it has been working for me and I was sharing tips that people can try. I don’t think many have the strength to just STOP, we all know that urge and unlike other urges this urge is harder to beat because as long as you have a job you know money is coming in and you tell yourself its okay. excluding doesn’t work a lot of times as you can easily get passed security or there are other casinos. Maybe you can share some thoughts on stopping cold turkey, I am open to hear them! 🙂

      I was ashamed to tell my parents but I finally opened up and told them and we’re working together as a team. 

    • #44630
      charles
      Moderator

      Well done on telling your parents.

      Yes it is hard to stop, it is even harder to control it for any period. It just keeps the addiction ticking over and it’ll be waiting for a chance to explode again.

      My advice on stopping cold turkey is to not «just» stop gambling. Have those barriers in place. You found that week hard but it would probably have been easier if you had been banned from the casino and had other barriers in place – the addiction is less likely to send those urges when it knows we CAN’T gamble.

      It is also important to not just sit there not gambling, plan your time and fill both your time and thoughts with activities away from gambling.

      The most important advice I can give is to use support – if we could do it on our own then none of us would be here. Keep posting here, connect to the groups. Use other local support if it is an option, such as Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

      I do hope you choose to avoid gambling, it is a progressive problem and things tend to get worse if we carry on. keep posting.

    • #44631
      Monica1
      Deltaker

      It is a progressive problem and it gets worse over time. You are young with your whole life ahead of you, plenty of time to leave this addiction well and truly in the past. Personally I would find it nigh on impossible to do controlled gambling. I have tried that and all it does is feed the addiction and keeps the programme running. You haven’t hit rock bottom and have a great job. But say you didn’t, and all that came crashing down, would you still gamble then? All I know is that if we don’t get a grip, over time things have a tendency to fall apart all around us, that is just my own personal experience. I was earning much the same as you and then gambling took it all and I couldn’t get a job for quite a while. When we are in desperate situation, believe me, we can find the strength to just stop as this is what created the problem in the first place. Gambling takes so much more from us than money. Where would you be now if you had never gambled? I hope that you choose to get support and find the strength to put it behind you. Keep posting new your progress.

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