Unrealistic expectations can happen in so many ways like looking to others for self validation, making assumptions, expecting change to be instant or when beliefs are pushed onto others and then disappointment occurs when they don’t act the way we think they should. These things trigger me immensely when others do it to me I no that.
Expecting someone else to make me happy has occured many times throughout my life both on my end and on my partners end. However, I have changed that perspective and now no I only get that from myself. And I cannot do it for someone else either that is there own responsibility
Assuming others know what you’re thinking is something that drives me up the wall. My boss does this constantly and it always ends up negatively for everyone around. To me its just a form of control. Im not perfect though I have answered “nothing” when asked “what is wrong?” all the time and have felt disappointment admittingly when the person doesn’t no what’s up.
Believing people should agree with my perspective. I can’t say that I haven’t done this. I’m ashamed that I’ve gone to that place before. It happens mostly in relationships unconsciously. I realize we all have our own ideas and sides to things and ive always been able to see both sides to the coin. However,not everyone will want to see my side or perspective and it’s just a matter of excepting that.
Thinking I can change someone else. I swear this is a woman’s curse. I admitingly have ended up in everyone one of my relationships thinking I can help guide and change defects in my partners. I’m not proud of it. I’ve also been on the reciprocating end of it constantly to so I understand the frustration of it. This is my biggest goal to prevent and change the cycle of in my life today.
My grandma used to tell me to look at the waves of the ocean and attach my worries and expectations to them. And watch as they move into the wave and then wash away. Probably why I’ve always felt so calm living near the water I have a sense of peace and calmness just sitting watching the waves or even surfing in them for that matter.