[Clarity]

i’m not back at square one, i am even worse than before. so we went to a celebration at this hotel down the road where i am supposed to be banned. i couldn’t help myself after 2 months of agony of not gambling i started again. no body stopped me so i went back gambling more and more. today i exceeded my withdrawal limit then left. why is this so hard. two months were so hard to endure without gambling. now i go to this hotel and i hardly get a free spin. it’s worse than before, high bets. i feel out of sorts. i am sick of this disease. it controls me. why can’t i just be happy. be normal. i feel like dirt. i can’t take it anymore. i need help

[Anoniem]

day three gone by haven’t gambled. i feel so lonely and unloved. life isn’t fairi need help

[Anoniem]

I am on the end of day 2 feeling exactly the same way. Surely it’s going to get better than this. Just remember than the feelings we are getting are from the inner demon and they are there to try and make us think that a little gamble will make us feel better. This is not the answer, but the cause of the initial problem.
Make a call to a friend. Go for a walk (without money). Write more in your journal, or anything that will cheer you up or take your mind off of negative thoughts. I found that a long call to a talkative friend sorted me out. Loneliness is easily fixed, everyone is loved by someone even when you dont see it. Life is never fair, but its the way we live it that matters. Keep strong flyorra, you are doing well. The feelings will pass when you put into action some social changes. One good day will follow another very soon.
I hope you feel better and continue to realize the importance of what you are doing.
Happy new year and take care,
LukeTomorrows another day. Just hope I don’t gamble it away…

[sunny123]

happy new year flyorra.. i can relate to what you feel now.. having failed again and again to come out of it but i can only advise you to block access to money in the initial few days.. and force yourself to be occupied somewhere.. the more we think about what we lost.. the more we try to get it back.. it becomes a vicious circle.. unless you start thinking that what is lost is lost.. it is difficult to think ahead.. and it is very painful to accept the fact that it has gone.. this hope never allowed me to stop when i started loosing and i always kept on trying till i lost everything.. we CG can never do it in a controlled way.. so just accept it and though painful.. but try to forgive yourself for the past.. look ahead and things will start getting better if you manage to stay away from gamblingtomorrow will be better than yesterday.

[Anoniem]

i slept well, having a better day. not focusing on gambling. it is day 4i need help

[Anoniem]

it’s day 5 and i gambled today. i was looking to relieve some tension, to relax but all i got was a headache. the machines with music going in their feature were so loud, i could not even think. i have to find another way to find some peace and quiet. i need help

[paul315]

Originally posted by flyorra
 
… i have to find another way to find some peace and quiet.

Good afternoon Flyorra,
When we look for ways to find peace and quite it is easy for old habits that once offered such feelings to be included in the options; and unfortunately for a CG the memories of the delusional escape that gambling provided also creeps in.  When we work at making change so that we can enjoy the things around us without seeking harmful thrills or walking on the edge, peace and quite, comes to us on its own. There are events and challenges in life that are more related to normal life and do not represent harm, thrills are not limited to dangers that only provide more tension and stress. For a CG gambling is not an alternative, weigh the pros and cons and you will find that gambling is not even an option to be considered.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware, use what works, not what causes more problems.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[Anoniem]

i gambled again but only 10 dollarsi need help

[velvet]

 
Hi Flyorra
Why do you feel so lonely and unloved?
In this community you are cared for – you are cared for by so many who are walking the same path as you and also by so many of us who are cheering you on from the side-lines and wanting you to find your inner peace. 
I don’t think that life is fair and I feel it is something we have to accept and then do something about – because we can.   If I didn’t ‘know’ that you could control your addiction I would not be writing to you. I know you own it – and the courage to control it can only come from you – but the ability to do so, with support, is inside you.  
Tell us about the person that is ‘you’. Not the person you feel is controlled but the person inside who wants to be free. 
I think that many CGs find that ******** the days doesn’t help. How about taking a leap of faith and say ‘today I will not gamble’ and start a life-time of being gamble-free? Not day one, day two, day three, day four but one day at a time. It isn’t a competition.  Only deal with ‘today’. Nobody wants you to lose.  I have known and heard of many CGs that given time (not days counted off) who one day find they are living wonderful, fulfilled lives and have learned to love themselves as well as be loved. The individual days had evolved into a lifetime commitment. 
Do you go into Kathryn’s group?  She is a beacon shining forth with inspiration. She is living each day as it comes and as well as all that – she is a fellow ******.
10 dollars, 10000 dollars – it makes no difference. It is what the gamble does to your head that makes you feel so bad.   A gamble-free life is within your power, take all the support you can.  You ‘can’ do it.
Velvet
 
 

[Auteur]

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