[secret sparrow]

In desperation ,I have flown across from the ‘other side’,as I desperately want some sort of feedback from you guys.
I don’t expect you to know much about my situation,but in short ,I am in the process of Divorcing my CG ,after 26years of marriage.I had no choice,having battled with this addiction for half of that time.
To paint the piture…..he is refusing to leave the house ,until, as he says,the courts have sorted out our finances.
The situation is unbearable…..walking on eggshells…..silences…..pre-empting moods….awful.
The final hearing is in Feb/March.
Since he has been hit with the Divorce,he has been on a gambling frenzy…….I have evidence of this…….new to me ,as he was a ‘secret’ gambler,having a whole different life going on outside of the house.
He bought himself his own computer,because I refused to let him take the family computer  into the spare room that he is now sleeping in.BIG MISTAKE for him,as gambling online is there at his fingertips.
Now ……last night……I came home from a night out[infact it was my B/day….had a meal out with the children]…….
………..He obviously didn’t know whether I was working[as am shift worker],or out ,or away etc……….this next bit is incredibly embarrassing,and infact may be seen as’ too much information’ ,and taken off,but I hope not.
I witnessed him on the computer gambling…..BUT …..he was doing something else with his other hand!!!!  It was intermittent ….not with great gusto……..but I could not believe what I was seeing……….how sick is this man…..how degrading…..I was, and am still ,in great shock…..is this anyway near normal behaviour….or has he just got so deep into it ,he is now becoming sexually aroused when gambling??????????
I have been really affected by this ,and can’t get it out of my mind,I feel so sorry for him.
By the way ,he just accepted me filing for divorce ,not once asking me if there was anything that he could do to make things work…..not once…and that hurts.
He seems to be in self distruct mode ,but is still putting on a show to all outside .
I feel like I am still being punished by this demon……am so upset …
Any advice?????? is anyone going to fess up to having any experience with this behaviour????
I am looking forward to hearing any feedback from all on this ste.
Thanks for listening ,
Sparrow x
I MUST DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO!– 27/11/2010 12:53:40: post edited by secret sparrow.

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