Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

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And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

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Thank you for sharing i have stopped gambling since 06/12/19 I am living my best life now. Key focus using now is my Self worth, being addicted to positive affirmations ,self talk, journaling and self recovery. You have given a honest account of everything you done to be GF for 260 days. Congrats man. You are doing a great job. You are observing your thought patterns now thankfully you shared that and it is very great that you do. You recognize where you are and where you going to be. I applaud you. You are an amazing person. Believe in your self. You got this brother. You can read other people journal and you can relate to it. This website helped me alot. I am very thankful for taking the time to explore it.

24 days GF.

Hi Gamblingblows, I haven’t accumulated nearly as much gamble free time as you but reading through your post I feel counselling would be beneficial for you. It would give you time to work through issues which are holding you back, eg the mild depression you describe. There may be other blocks which you are currently unaware of .

You say you find it difficult to socialise but this is a skill which can be learned – you could start by buying a book and practicing some of the ideas there – most people have to learn how to socialise at some stage of their life and like other things some people are better than others at it but everyone can achieve a standard that allows them to meet people wits confidence.

Also some clubs are easier to socialise because everyone shares a common interest – it could be anything from a book club to a scrabble club.

You have done amazingly well on staying gamble free and you rightly should be proud of yourself. It is so encouraging to read a thread from someone who has so much gamble free time behind them.

Keep posting !

Also well done on coming on here when you are facing urges, rather than just giving into them.
I’m someone who is around 10 years gamble free, so you asked to hear from someone with lots of clean time.

Someone on here once wrote that the relapse doesn’t happen with the bet – it starts sometime before that – and there were a couple of things in your post that made me concerned. One was, “I am meaning to start going back (to GA) in order to make sure that I don’t relapse.” Meaning to – is not doing it. If you get benefit from being at GA then get back there!

The other was, “I have banned myself from all the casinos in my area, the nearest one I can go to is a 4 hour drive away.” That made me smile. Only a person with gambling problems would know exactly how far the nearest casino is!

I think in your post you have nailed what your issue is. Gambling is a very lonely occupation and it suits those of us who are “socially awkward.” There is a school of thought that says gambling is a means of not dealing with people – and that connecting with a community can be the most helpful thing we can do.

I agree with I-did-it that counselling would be helpful – and try and use this to look at ways in which you can connect to a community of people who have similar interests and where you can feel safe and held. I tried lots of things from classes, to dancing to joining forums on-line (which led to some face-to-face meetings.) Everyone has their own way about doing things but I think connecting with people is the key. I wish you well.

You are doing great.
I identify with your social struggles as I have a disability which I think made my gambling worse being stuck in the house with no social life. I won aswell and then gambled all my savings and more. I hardly get any money from disability so I can’t find a way to be positive and I’m thinking about it everyday.
I just keep coming on here when I can and trying to find things to do throughout the day to distract myself.
It’s great that you have nearly cleared your debt and are looking for ways not to relapse stay on the right track and have a great 2020

To better develop good self confidence determines what you are saying to yourself about yourself. I am great i am positive and i am happy is just some examples of words of affirmations that you use daily. Use as simple as the way you dress as a boost to your self confidence not a lot of emphasis on it though because you may need to budget on that area. Be who you are you are a young man determine to make right in your life recongnizing where you are and where you ought to be. Yes journaling on this forum help me alot. Reading help enlighten my mind to examine my thoughts and other people mindset and what they reveal about themselves on this forum and books i have read. So you can occupy your time by doing something you love before you started gambling. A new hobby reading writing drawing etc playing sport going to the gym will help you to boost your self confidence. You are going to accomplish great thing man.

Keep your mind free and live your life bro. Life is meant to be enjoy. 

Yes we have made mistakes and it cost us a major dent in financies but we rise above this. Broken relationships may put a hinder on self confidence but be determine to recover and fully heal yourself of it all. Be thankful.

Brother take time to heal and to fill that void help someone who needs help reach out and give back without looking for something in return. That is true giving. Bro you gonna make that big shift in your thinking once you are going to rediscover your true self worth.

Thank you and continue being GF…. blessings man

I can connect to what you are saying.  I am an introvert and prefer my own company.  One of the things about recovering from gambling is that it made me realise I couldn’t do it alone.  I discovered co-counselling and from there GA (Gamblers’ Anonymous) and then counselling.

You say you know you should keep trying with therapists  … so do so!  Often a therapist will give a cheap rate or even a free session for the first time to see if you are a good fit.  Take advantage of this and see as many as is needed to find the right one.  Someone you can trust and feel you can say anything to is far better than thinking about this or that sort of technique or approach.

I too have a batchelor’s degree – and eventually came to the conclusion that I need challenges in life and that “doing what I have always done” will not allow me to grow as a person.  I challenged myself to come out of my comfort zone, but stuck with things that I thought I would enjoy.  I like music so went to concerts more often but found I wasn’t connecting to people there – so I tried dancing.  I was useless at first, but gradually bit by bit I got better and grew in confidence and now have another “skill” which is appreciated by the opposite sex.  I joined a bookclub and a quiz team and made a few friends at both … connecting with just a few people at a time is easier for me than big crowds.

So my advice, for what it’s worth, is to find something that will move you forward as a person, something that comes from you – that you have always wanted to do, but have been putting off or feel scared about.  Take the plunge!  If you have a batchelor’s degree is there somewhere to go to improve on this – either specialising or going for a Master’s in the same area?   Life is for living … I think we forget this when we are using up our lives chasing our losses.  Go well.