[RealQuiet]

I’m going to try posting here to see if it can help me get out of this circle of betting, winning, betting, losing, betting, chasing, quitting, betting to win back some losses and then planning to quit for good, betting and winning, betting to win more since I’m now on a roll, losing, chasing to get back the winnings, losing it all, betting again, losing, chasing, quitting… The next word in the cycle is „betting,” but I’m replacing it with „posting” and hope that can put an end to it.

My vice is online sports. It’s a combination of escaping from the day and the addiction to winning money. I’ve had a problem for 4 years now and it has escalated over the past 6 months. Before that, I was betting $300-$500 a week. It was a bad habit and I wanted to quit, but didn’t. And then I discovered bitcoin as a way to fund my account. And the stakes went up. My deposits went up in both amount and frequency. In the last six months I have turned an intial deposits of $1000 into over $20,000 on five occasions, only to lose it all within 72 hours and repeating the process again. Of course, sometimes I lost the $1000 deposit, which, coupled with losing any winnings, puts me in the financial situation I am in today ($50,000 of gambling incurred debt).

So today I stop. And I’m posting this both for your support and so I can read it the next time I have the urge. Hope to update this and track my progress. I’m calling this effort to quit my biggest wager, because if I can become gambling free, it will be my biggest win. Looking forward to winning this.

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi RealQuiet,

Well done on looking for help. Read the otehr stories here, you will see a lot of things that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

If you gamble online then you can get a blocker for your PC which will stop you visiting all gambling sites. Financial accountability also helps.

Keep posting here, keep reading. What positive steps can you start taking?

[RealQuiet]

Couldn’t even make it through day 1. Came online to post about making it close to 24 hours since my wager. Then couldn’t resist looking at lines on active games. Lost another $2 k after a deposit, loss, re-deposit, chase. It goes fast when every wager is a loss. So mad and disappointed in myself. Just closed my account for 30 days. I know it should be permanent but I need to get myself through at least a month first so babysteps. Can’t stand myself for lacking willpower to make it through one stupid day.

Let’s try this again. Day 1. Hope tomorrow I can say day 2.

[RealQuiet]

Writing this to remind myself that I will not gamble today, no matter what. Yesterday is in the past. I can get through today. If I get the itch, if I get bored, I will find something else to fill the void. Read a book. Go for a walk. Watch a movie. Get a snack. Do some work. Something. Anything else. No gambling today.

[RealQuiet]

Just 2 more hours until I go to bed and get through Day 1. I like winning. Not losing. And I lose at gambling. But that’s because I have no control of that. Some idiot misses a free throw or throws a pick six in the final minute, and I’m loser for that!? No more. No more betting. Winning is not betting. I’m 2 hours away from winning today. We can do this. Quitting is winning.

[RealQuiet]

Just one more hour and all I want to do is bet on the NBA games. I can do this. And after I do, I can read about how hard day 1 is and how’ve never want another day 1 again. 1 hour. I can make it.

[RealQuiet]

Disappointed by the lack of support here. I’m going to make it. But this website is terrible. No support. Very disappointing.

[RealQuiet]

Going to bed. I made it. Day 1 in the books. No thanks to this website. What a joke. No support whatsoever.

[Fish face2017]

Hi mate,

Congratulations on your first day! Take it step by step and say by day. It’s not an easy process at all but it’s so worth it. By accepting your losses and knowing you can’t get that money back will definitely help your recovery.

You talk about the $50k debts, have you sorted repayments that are managable on your salary? What barriers are you putting in place to stop you gambling?

I would also recommend to ban yourself permanently.. because knowing you can log back in after those 30 days is just giving you temptation. Self exclude for as long as you can, you will thank your future self for this.

Hoping that today is still gamble free for you. Keep posting your progress!! Step by step you can do this

[RealQuiet]

Thanks for the response. Was getting lonely posting to myself. Yes, I’m halfway through Day 2! The evening will be the biggest challenge. Last night was tough. I think my first gambling free day since August (on my daughter’s birthday). It was great waking up today and not thinking about some crazy backdoor cover three pointer at the buzzer. I did wake up thinking about the debt, but at least that’s something I can control. Will start working on a budget and payment plan. But right now just need to get through Day 2 and get on the path to no more gambling (and no more gambling debt). Staring at the debt I realize I’ll never win enough to pay it. That’s a helpful realization because each time I got up to $20k in winnings, I kept playing for more. I never got it up to $50k in winnings, so no point in trying. And I would never stop at $20k, so again, even if I got on another winning streak it wouldn’t help. I’m writing this all so I remind myself of these facts in moments of temptation or weakness. I feel sick thinking about how much I’ve lost. But there’s nothing I can do about that now. Just have to move on.

[RealQuiet]

I’m done with this forum. Not enough support here. I was hoping folks would post and support me through this. But I didn’t get that. Too bad. Maybe there’s a more active site out there that will be more helpful.

[charles]

Realquiet..

You have been here just a few days, I’d recommend giving it a chance.

Have you been reading others threads? Have you posted support to any of the other new members here on their threads?

When you have been reading other threads what things have you seen that you can apply to your own situation?

Have you connected to any of the groups yet? The „open” groups are unmoderated so you wouldnt be guranteed to find someone there but ALL the other groups will have a facilitator and you are guarnteed to find someone to talk to.

You first „first day” ended with a 2 k bet. that is a lot of money for a compulsive gambler to have access to. What things can you put in place to make you less able to easily access money like that to gamble with? I’m assuming it was online so have you installed a blocker on your PC yet? Restricted access on your phone?

You posted that by the end of the day all you wanted to do was bet on the NBA games. Don’t watch those games, don’t look at teh odds/spread etc. What can you do to fill your time and thoughts away from gambling and those games?

Lastly, while I hope you continue to post here, if you do decide to leave the site then please use other support, get to gamblers Anonymous or somewhere similar. If we could do it on our own then we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

Hopefully you will continue posting and tell us the positive steps you are taking to avoid your next bet. Maybe I will talk to you ina group here soon.

[RealQuiet]

Haven’t been able to stop. Just hit a 6 team $100 parlay to win $5000. And all I can think about is how much I can win with that $5000. Why am I betting 6 team parlays? Why am I making long shot wagers? Yes, it hit. But it’s not a smart bet. I know I’m not thinking straight. The win makes me think I can keep doing it, when I know all I will do is lose it. I don’t like the fog I’m in right now. I wasted all weekend stressing about my bets rather than enjoying time with my family. And all I have to show for it is $5000 that I’m just going to lose anyways.

I hate being compulsive gambler.

[RealQuiet]

Have gone through half the day without making a wager. Have the $5000 sitting in a wagering account waiting for action and I have not logged in to look at it. Avoiding watching sports today. Want to put an end to this. If I can make it through today, knowing there is money available to wager and some good games today, then I think it will help with my willpower in the future. Got to get through today. Halfway there (and living on a prayer).

I would take having any other addiction over a gambling problem. Being a compulsive gambling is just terrible.

[charles]

So, why not withdraw the cash and close that account? What other barriers can you put in place?

[RealQuiet]

Because in the past I have just redeposited. I need to stop. Not just block myself, but stop. I find ways around blocks, especially when motivated by the urge. I need to stop betting. I need to go a few days without betting and build the will and ability to do that. From what I can tell from researching, the initial effort to quit requires going at least 30 days. That seems to be the hardest first goal to hit. After that, there’s still the added need to avoid relapse. But that appears to occur when people believe they can now control their wagering and start again. I’m in the early stage. I need to go 30 days without betting and start getting the urge to dissipate. Then I can work at more permanent barriers to avoid relapsing. But right now, I’ll find away around barriers. I need to get myself to stop. I have to get through my first goal of 30 days. I’m close to getting through day 1 with funds and opportunity available. If I can do this, it will go a long way to boosting my confidence in my ability to completely stop.

I know it’s a long road, and a lot more battles to win in this war. I’ve got to get 30 days under my belt and see what that does for my urge. Hopefully it will reduce it. But I won’t know until I get there. I hate being a compulsive gambler.

[RealQuiet]

Lost $500 of the $5000 tonight. Stupid Pacers couldn’t hit 2 free throws at the end of regulation only to get blown out in OT. Typical loss for me. I hate being a compulsive gambler. I hate myself.

[RealQuiet]

Just wanted to say thanks for everyone’s support. You folks on this website are awesome!! I love the constant words of encouragement. Thanks. What a terrific „community.”

[RealQuiet]

Every morning I wake up promising myself I will not gamble. Every night I go to bed wishing I hadn’t.

[RealQuiet]

At 7 pm New York time, someone please post a message to me asking me not to gamble. Would really like some support.

[Dave1]

It can be as easy as you make it. Gambling won’t make you feel better. CG’s gamble just for the thrill and winning. Winning is not possible. The losing will make you feel worse and makes you want to gamble more. See the vicious cycle.

There’s no point to gamble…

[charles]

RealQuiet. As you know, as we have all found out ourselves, it is very difficult to stop gambling. Want to know how to make it virtually impossible to stop gambling? Leave 5k in a gambling account with instant, unaccountable access.

Barriers aren’t the answer to addiction but they give us the breathing space to start work on other things.

[charles]

Hi Real Quiet,

I thought I would bump this thread up for you so that you can get the support that you want/need.

You did get some good suggestions here, which things did you try? Which things helped/didn’t help? Where and how did you last gamble and what would have made it harder for you to place that bet?

Keep posting and let us know the positive things that you are doing to avoid your next bet.

[charles]

Maybe check out the Group schedule as well and connect to one of the New Member groups or one of the other ones.

You can stop gambling.

[RealQuiet]

Still can’t stop. The debts are just too much. I can’t think straight.

[i-did-it]

Real quiet – u can stop- how ? By. Making it impossible to gamble .
I have spent the past hour of my life desperately trying to get around my barriers – but u know what ? I haven’t gambled .
Not through any miracle or will power – but because I can’t .

When we are weak the precautions that we have taken should make it impossible to gamble .

You can stop and you will stop. It will be the most difficult thing you have ever had to do but you can do it.
It will drive your mind crazy at times but you can do it.

If it was easy no one would ever become addicted .
Your money is gone just as mine is – forever!
Just let it go and now while you are feeling really bad put every barrier in place that you can . Cut up and cancel cards . Get a gambling blocker for ur online devices . Self ban from live casinos .

You deserve to be free of this as much as anyone else – believe this and take the steps right now !

[charles]

take a deep breath RealQuiet. You can stop. You just need to do some of the things your addiction doesn’t want you to do. Have you closed that gambling account yet.

Every morning you wake up and promise yourself that you won’t gamble? Great, then remove the opportunity to gamble.

There is an old saying – actions speak louder than words, I too made those no gambling promises, sometimes i even meant them! it wasn’t until i started taking actions though that I was successful.

So what actions can you take? Close that account? Restrict your access to funds, as I did it suggests? Get to a Gamblers Anonymnous meeting?

I know the debts will be overwhelming but there are a lot of optiuons around these days regarding the finances. Options from repayment plans through to bankrunptcy, with a lot in between. Get local expert advice and you will be able to get those finances to a manageable position.

I am sure there would be someone at your local GA meetign who would have had to sort finances out as well, it comes with the territory! They could point you in the right direction to get that advice.

A question I always ask in groups is – what can you do differently? It usually turns out to be something our addiction doesn’t want us to do.

Read the other threads here, you will see the sort of things that have helped others stop, which of those things can you apply to your own situation?

Keep posting and let us know what actions you are taking to make your next bet less likely.

[kathryn]

Just thought id bump your post up a bit…..
How are you?
Have you put any barriers in place?
Will power is simply not enough….if you have the means and the opportunity its just to easy to gamble ‘a little bit’, which then, as you know, turns into ‘a lot’!!!
Have you considered GA? I admit, it wasn’t for me but I did try it. Doing something, anything is better than doing nothing.
Hope you’re ok.
Love K x

[Autorius]

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