[Monkeycf]

Hi

I think I am just wanting to write out what has happened for me to actually start accepting what I have done.

I lost my mum 2 years ago to terminal lung cancer she was 60, I was distraught and inherited £100,000, I paid for a holiday to America for our family for 3 weeks and bought me and my partner a car each, and that’s where this all started.

I never wanted the money as it felt I was bettering of my mums death and every time I spent money on things that any normal person would see as good I then felt the need to gamble to win it back, obviously I lost and soon I began to spiral a thousand here and then two thousand and so on and so on.

I regret what I have done and can’t help but having that voice that says just keep on trying but I’ve finally hit that wall where I realise I will never win it back, I cashed out £1000 last night after losing £7000, I have locked the money I have away now so I can’t touch it, I feel I should tell my family but at the same time I’m scared of what they will think about me, I have realised I can try to save money instead of gambling but I will never save that much money in my life, I just wish I had never lost my mum, she would be so disappointed in me, I had started to have scary thoughts about doing something to myself but quickly talked myself out of it as I was selfish gambling and doing anything to myself would be the ultimate selfish act that I wouldn’t ever do to my family, at the end of the day it’s just money but I wanted to share what grief and chasing can cause, if I can offer advise to anyone in the same position lock the money away straight away so you can have time to process before acting like I have.

I will probably continue to post on this site letting people know how I am getting on this is day 2 of no gambling I just hope I can keep it up.

Thanks for listening I know I’m a mess but I want to get better.

[charles]

<

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Monkeycf]

Another day without gambling, the thought keeps crossing my mind, the idea of one more go I could win some of it back and be in a slightly better position, but in truth I would probably win a bit and then lose it all again, I will stay strong, I have set myself a budget to follow, I’m trying to convince myself that they only way to fix this problem is to stop and start saving, I am never going to win it back I just have to accept its gone, but that thought just feels me with dread on all the good things I could have done,.

[Adam26]

All winning is, is more chances to lose mate. Trust me. I’ve done £20,000 savings in. Most of which my grandparents left me when they died. I feel like I’ve pissed all over their memory. I’ve been gambling since I was about 13, so I dread to think what the total loss is… The best way I can think to solve it is to go completely gamble free and start saving. I can now say I’ve gone 1 year and 9 weeks today without gambling and I’ve managed to save nearly 9 grand back. You’ve just got to accept your mistakes and move on from them. We’re all better than this addiction. I look forward to seeing how you get on.

[Monkeycf]

Your right, however I slipped again last night, the one site I had left with my final cash out, got lucky won another £2000, think I’d feel great nope just showed how what others would class as an amazing win was just a dip in the ocean, I have contacted them advised after this withdrawal I would like my account closed, day 1 starts again today.

Please let me finally wake from this nightmare 6 years to make the money back I’ve lost overall.

[charles]

Hi Monkey.

Well done on looking for help here. I hope you are reading the other stories in the forum, you will see a lot of things that you can apply to your own situation.

I’d contact then again, closing your account is a great start but of course if we close something we can reopen it. Ask them to ban you, take away that option.

Keep posting.

[Autorius]

Įrašai