[brandi]

Hello,my name is Brandi,Im a 35 yr old mom of 2 daughters and wife.Im also a compulsive gambler,.  I have always had somthing in me that gambled ,started off as an early teen going to bingo and enjoying it,odd trip to casino with friends because there is not 1 where i live ,thank goodness,but its been the last 8_10 yrs that i started playing slots in bars,no little bets aloud MAx all the way,was my modeo,and now it totally controls my life .There are not many decisions  i make in life without considering my gambling first.Ill go without eating ,cause i dont have anytime ,got to get back to machines ,lay in bed counting the hours till they reopen .Even as much as had myself believed i must have a brain tumor because ,why else would i be doing this to myself and family,but im embarressed to admit this but the time i really want help is when im broke. Got the money in my hand and my life is grand.Dont get as upset as i use to when i lose because i think im numb ,ive learned how to push all my stress and feelings down ,or maybe its just that i have a sick feeling all the time so thats my normal.Oh and by the way im never a winner cause i dont stop, never leave till im busted.I am also embarresed to say i think i have the damm things figured out ,yes because thats how the government has them set up so we can figure them out.So bought myself some sneakers this week ,hoping to start walking and joined this ,so its a start.I just would like to feel like my old self for 1 day ,and i know it would help.The only time i have any energy is to play,or work.live in a small town and i try to sneak in and out without everyone down town seeing me …who am i kidding im sure everyone knows.

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