How do I describe my misery in the past?
In the presence of chronic stress, I do not care what happens in the future, I need my reward now.
I become very impulsive and compulsive.
A behaviour is compulsive when you have the urge to do it repeatedly — until a feeling of anxiety or unease goes away.
A behaviour is impulsive when you do it without forethought and without considering the consequences.
I have self-destructed many times despite knowing the consequences when I go ahead to act out in food, sex, alcohol, drug, gambling, surfing internet, gaming, pornography. I have lost almost everything from precious time, money, health and relationships with people.
This is how a person ended up in mental, emotional, physical, financial, spiritual bankruptcy…prison, hospital and institutions.