How has the help you accessed been able to support you? Do you have anyone with you,, your family? You saw a psych and the crisis team. Did they get what you are going through? Your life is precious and it is not over. I lost as much as you did. The suicidal feelings are the addiction trying to wreak havoc on you. The self destruct button is the addiction, tell it it has done its worst, to naff off and now is the time for recovery JP. The reason you are sitting on the edge is because you feel you have fallen from a great height. There is a way back. You just have to take it. Look at what you do have. Do you have food and shelter? These are the two important things in life that we need to build from. Are you having therapy? Tell me what things you have in your life now to start from? I had no money at all, Bankruptcy looming and a repossession order on my home plus an unsupportive family. Tell me what you have Jp?
Please tell Me JP as I really want you to look at those things.