[hopelessdegen]

After 20 years of problem gambling and many failed attempts to get help, I’ve hit a rock bottom that might be impossible to overcome. But I will try. In order to regain hope, I need to get rid of illusions of gambling in moderation and give it up entirely.

[hopelessdegen]

Day 2: Was able to get out of bed and take my dog for a hike but unable to feel any joy. I don’t expect that to come back for a long time. It’ll take a solid year without a relapse just to get out of debt and start to find hope for any financial success.

Just received an alert that one of the sports books I maxed out my credit cards on has issued a bonus of several thousand dollars to my account, with a big rollover. I could use the money but trying to meet the rollover likely gets me hooked and even deeper in debt.

Thinking of asking a trusted friend to take over the account and withdraw anything left over after the rollover is met. Hoping for advice.

[hopelessdegen]

Back to day 1. Decided to use the free play from my last losses. Turned 2500 into 12,000, lost it all, then lost another 5000. Money I don’t have. It’s now or never for me. Do or die time.

[velvet]

Hi H

I am not going to call you Hopeless because I know that it is within your power to start a true recovery. Only you can make that true start but I know you can, or I wouldn’t be writing to you.

Nobody here will be saying that the journey is easy, however, it is worth the fight and the joy you mentioned will be yours for the taking. Yesterday’s slip belongs in yesterday; there is no point in saying ‘what if’ or ‘if only’ because you can’t change yesterday but you can use the memory of that slip to work for you. Use it as a reference when you look back at the journal you are creating here.

Have you spoken to a friend yet about taking over the account and closing it for you? Walk away from it now and let me know how you are progressing.

Velvet

[hopelessdegen]

Thanks for the note. I really appreciate it. I’ve had a friend close many of my accounts. I always seem to find a new one. I’ve even given a friend access to my bank account but as long as I have a credit card, it hasn’t stopped me.

I tried going to the only GA meeting in town a couple times and nobody showed up either time. The only real success I’ve had is going to AA and applying their program for my problem.

[hopelessdegen]

Day 2 – setting a short term goal here. If I can make it 90 days without a relapse, I’ll be free from debt. If I can make it through September, I’ll be able to reward myself with a vacation. Seems impossible at this point but for now my focus is on making it 90 days. One painstaking day at a time.

[pilotdad1980]

I think people like us especially starting out should try just to get through a day and not focus on getting out of debt or anything long term. Just today, don’t gamble and try to do something purposeful and good.

[hopelessdegen]

Thanks PilotDad, that’s good advice. I’ll focus on today.

[pilotdad1980]

I am right there with you. Just today no gambling. Get a nice meal and be grateful we are still here. Many before us are not.

[Dark Energy]

hi.
I really don’t know what to say.
i used to give some advice like, use road blockers, limit your access to the cash, use a web blocker …etc there is a lot of these tips here in this forum.
and don’t get me wrong it works to a certain degree… for sure it can let you cross the 90 days target but to be gamble-free for the rest of my life I really still didn’t figure out the way to do it. the only thing I didn’t try is to expose myself to a family member and tell him about my issue and give him financial control..if you can try this it may be the solution.

[hopelessdegen]

Thank you, darkenergy. I installed betblocker but it didn’t work bc my phone is an “unsupervised device”. I’m not tech savvy enough to figure out what that means. For now, I’m just coming here whenever I have the urge to go to a gambling site and following pilotdad’s advice to focus on today.

[hopelessdegen]

Day 3 – I made it through day 2. Today has been a busy work day…good because it’s a healthy distraction but bad because my current state has me physically and emotionally drained.

I found a virtual meeting last night at gamblersinrecovery.com. It felt good to share some of my story for the first time. I made a friend and we’re attending another meeting tonight. I think I can make it through tonight and that’s all that matters to me for right now.

[hopelessdegen]

Day 4 – masters weekend/ufc fight night is a bad combo for me. Lots of triggers this weekend. My squirrel brain is telling me just to deposit 1000 and planning how to double up. Then that house money would distract me from my pain. Acting on those thoughts in the past have cost me everything I’ve ever had.

Still taking it one day at a time. Sometimes a minute at a time. Looking for a good meeting to go to today.

[Badsportsbettor]

Hello

Your story resembles mine in the form of sports betting. It was what really sank me. I know this isn’t easy but I completed deleted any apps about sports so i didn’t even know what was going on pretty much. That was really hard for me because sports are one of my largest passions. That being said Just watching now for me is a trigger.

Try and find something else you can do that is time consuming. Like for me I started playing sports again instead of watching them and that kills a lot of time. Hope any of this helps and stay strong!

[投稿者]

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