[mikeb]

Hello again everyone, not going to go into lots of great detail here, suffice to say I’ve been trapped in the gambling cycle for a good six months now and I’ve been able to break out of it today and I’m trying to stay focused. Just feeling a bit lost at the moment as the fantasy I’ve been living in for so long isn’t there anymore so just thought I’d post something on here. It’s been a difficult day today. I managed to get my hands on some cash to tide me over for a couple of weeks and only thought about gambling with it briefly before I dismissed the thoughts. I logged into an online therapy session which felt good and followed that up with lifetime self-exclusions from my online and casino avenues. Working tomorrow so hopefully, I feel a bit better.

Thanks for reading

Mike

[Dunc]

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[mikeb]

Hi all, was hard to get out of bed today. Was still feeling down after my decision to work at recovery again and depressed without the fantasy world I’d been living in. As I was getting ready for work I thought about going to the betting shop to play machines as a win might make me feel better, but, after having reached out for help and made some positive steps to aid my recovery I decided against it. Got some shopping in for the next few days after work and watched some TV. Feeling much better now than I was yesterday or this morning. Plan is the same for tomorrow. Got a meeting at university in the morning then work in the afternoon. Hoping urges to gamble tomorrow may decrease after I resisted today.

Thanks for reading.

Mike

[vera]

Hi Mike,
Glad you decided not to visit the “mechanical pick pockets” today.
Part of the problem with gambling is that it becomes habitual. We could almost do it in our sleep. Often when I come to certain exits when driving, I feel myself automatically moving the indicator to swing for an exit that would lead to an old haunt. Or hearing certain songs (Driving home for Christmas is a biggie!) that were played in “my” casino creates the lure. Even seeing car registrations or having flashbacks to “wins” seems to enforce the habit.
Apart from setting up all the well known barriers and limits, we also have to develop alternative habits., for example walk a different route to work or to college. Deliberately leave your cash and cards at home. Fix your mind on what you intend to do for the next hour to prevent your thoughts drifting and on it goes until some day we will wake up and say, “hey, I never even thought of gambling today” or “it’s a week since I played those machines”. Bit by bit, we will find ourselves becoming less dependent on going to play. By that time , we will be in a better head space, and hopefully we will begin to see the benefits of not gambling. Our illusion needs to be shattered Mike but it takes time.
This year, which is coming to and end soon was a bad year for me. Looking back now I could have easily resisted 90% of the time. It was impulsivity and lack of discipline during 2015 that caused me to line the pockets of some low life casino owners ( Where I live the owners are “no gentlemen” to put it mildly) with a generous 5 figure sum. (sic) How I could use that money now, but as we well know Mike, people of our ilke will never walk away winning.
The only way is to go back to the drawing board. Draw a line under your losses. Strengthen your resolve and Begin again.
Cheers!

[cat438]

I don’t post very often now, but I don’t think I can add much to Vera’s words of wisdom. You have started recovery by simply coming here and reaching out for help. I could lie to you and say that’s all you need to do, but any day not gambling is a good day!!! Take it one day at a time, don’t focus on next week, just today, and sometimes it’s just getting through an hour. What can you do so that you don’t have access to cash. Always remember NO MONEY = NO GAMBLING!!! Is there anyone that you can ask to look after your money for you for a while. Is there any other support that you can get, is there a GA close by. Reach out and grab all the support you can get. I know for me that I went to counselling and it was a big help. The interesting part is that the counselling was through the Addictions Foundation, it was free as it was sponsored by the Casinos LOL In a way it was not free to me as I had more than covered my counselling sessions with all my losses at the Casino.
Keep posting!!!

[dave_gma]

Mike,

Glad to see your head back above the parapet in the forum. Keep on posting. Catch you in group on Monday and hopefully a chat before then as well. Stay on the radar..

Dave

[mikeb]

Thanks Vera, Cat and Dave for your messages. Woke up yesterday with the flu, struggled through a shift at work and have spent today wrapped up in bed. Happy that I have cash the day before I get paid for the first time in a long time and I can afford paracetamol and Lemsips. Fleeting thoughts of gambling over the past two days. Suppose it’s just because it has been at the forefront of my mind for so long I had to remind myself that I had self-excluded. Still, been gradually feeling better about things as the week has gone on.

Thanks for reading.

Mike

[mikeb]

Hi all. Just sitting in my room struggling to find anything to do that’ll take my mind off putting football bets on. It’s been a pretty standard Saturday for me now to have a few beers and a few bets on the football. Downloaded 9 seasons of the X-Files last night starting from way back in 1993. Going to go get something to eat and stick that on. Should keep my brain occupied. Thought posting on here might strengthen my resolve to not to go out and stick some bets on.

Thanks for reading

Mike

[vera]

Hope your Saturday went well, Mike and that you resisted the bets.
I’m just home from a family day out.
A far cry from a day in the casino.
Looking at people who don’t/didn’t gamble half their lives away is an eye opener.
Gambling ruins lives.

[mikeb]

Hi all, resisted the temptation to bet on Saturday and joined my flatmates for dinner and a few drinks in the evening. Just a lazy day today. Feeling positive and going to make a start on my exam revision tomorrow.

Thanks for reading

Mike

[mikeb]

Well, I lasted 9 days! Woke up and played a hidden object game which ate up 6 hours. Was so sick of looking at my room got out of bed at 6pm, got showered and dressed and had something to eat. Couldn’t face going back into my room so went across the road o the pub to watch the England friendly. By half-time I was completely depressed, sitting drinking on my own, hating the prospect of going home. After two pints, went home, registered with a new poker site and deposited £30 that another gambling site had refunded me when I self excluded from them a week ago. Lost the £30. Had £38 in my room ran up to the shop for a paysafe voucher for £30. Machine down. Ran along to another shop, just missed them as they closed at midnight, ran along to another shop, got my £30 voucher but now a ridiculous distance from home. Got back home at 1am. Deposited the £30. Won £170 playing poker. Lost it on slots. Now 4.35am and I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself. Have self-excluded from the site I just joined. I’m determined that this is just a blip and I’ going to carry on like it never happened.

Thanks for reading

Mike 🙁

[mikeb]

Hi all, happy to say I’m feeling OK today after last nights slip. I’m calling it a slip as my resolve to not gamble again hasn’t changed and I’ll learn from what happened.

Thanks for reading

Mike

[vera]

Dwelling on “slips” will drive us nuts, Mike.
Writing them off , on the other hand tends to allow us to minimize their seriousness.
I often do that . “Well, it was only a couple of hundred” or whatever.
I now try to tell myself “Gambling is gambling and every time I partake, it leads me into deeper debt, weakens my resolve and makes it easier to justify losses”!
Very well done on your 9 clean days.

[maverick.]

Keep your head up Mike, I have done the same many times, in the end I honestly believe I am now self excluded from every site online (I know and dont ask me), keep fighting the addiction and keep staying strong, you have had a slip up and now you know you are back where you really want to be, I am a compulsive gambler because when I start I cannot stop until I have nothing.

Take care and wish you well.

Maverick

[Autore]

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