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Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 30. Thinking about it makes me sad. I’ll be 30 and I have nothing to show for it but what feels like crippling debt, a dead end job with little pay and an addiction that’s caused the debt and takes what little pay I do get. My credit is shot and most of my possessions worth anything are sitting in some pawn shop warehouse.
Today I went to the casino and gambled what little money I had. I keep telling myself today is the day I quit and for that day, two days, a week even, I do quit. But something always calls me back. Its a depressing, never ending, vicious cycle. I’m tired of it emotionally and physically.
I want to quit. I want things to change. I want my 30s to be better than my 20s. I want to get all my stuff back from the pawn shops. I want to pay my bills on time. I want to be debt free. I want to stop letting this addiction have a hold over me.
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Welcome to GT — it’s a wonderful gift to give to yourself before such an important birthday. I’m sorry to hear that gambling has caused your 20s to be so miserable. It’s a terrible affliction, but with lots and lots of work, it can be stopped.
I say this even though I have struggled hard to stop and have done so for months at a time, only to return. But as long as I never give up on recovery, I still have hope.
It’s important to focus on the positives. You are young and have lots of time to build your career, recoup your possessions and reclaim your soul. You’ve made a good start today. Now take some more big steps.
Get yourself excluded from your casino, ask someone you trust to monitor your finances, carry as little cash as possible, cut up credit cards if you have any, and read, read, read everything you can lay your hands on about recovery.
It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. I wish you a wonderful day tomorrow and a much better, more hopeful future.
RG
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Happy birthday! Hang in there and stay strong. I know how hard it is to not give into the casino. Ban yourself asap from the casino. Do everything you can to give yourself a chance to be free. Hold onto your possessions as I regret losing some precious items to the pawn shop. They also gain from people’s despair and helplessness. Keep positive. One day at a time!
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Your post really caught my eye, perhaps because it sounds so similar to mine. This month I turn 29 and I feel like I have nothing to show either but a gambling addiction, debt, and credit that will get me nowhere. I recently self-banned from the two local casinos where I’ve gambled. I feel much better and even though it’s been just 10 days since gambling. I know I have prevented myself from spending another dime there. Everyone here in GT has been so helpful and continue to support us. Stay connected here, I truly think it helps in the early stages of starting a gamble-free life!
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Hi Venelope and welcome. I see you are already getting some good advice here. Why not banm from that other casino? Show yourself how much you really wasnt to stop this time. You can do it. It would be good to do it to before payday. Once proper barriers are in place then payday can become like just another day.
Use all the support you can, keep posting here, connect to the groups or helpline if you can. Have you checked out your local Gamblers Anonymous meetings? There is a lot of support out there, the more we use the stronger we can get.
keep posting, one day at a time.
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Hi V and welcome.
I believe we don’t want to ban because that requires us to admit that we truely do have a problem and we have to tell someone else about it. That d*mn addictive voice told me over and over “some day” I can come back and be “controled”. I know the devil is a liar and so is my addiction.
This is a big part of step one-surrender!
One bet is too many and 1000 is never enough!
I am a compulsive gambler and I know it!
bettie
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