[TTA]

Hi all

I am new to all of this but please stick with me…

I have gambled for a long time and I suppose it all sorted 15 years ago or so!

Of course it was never a problem then but over the years took a greater hold of me.

Around6 months ago I hit rock bottom and felt I had nowhere left to turn. With the help of my family who I am lucky enough to have behind me I faced my problem and began to rebuild.

I am sure people can relate but one of the most difficult things to do is talk to people honestly about everything that is going on, accepting that you have a problem and then dealing with the reality of living without gambling and the consequences you have no choice but to face after avoiding them for so long.

I unfortunately was in a position that I could not remedy the vast amounts of debts I had given myself due to my gambling and had to unfortunately declare myself bankrupt a few months ago.

It is not a nice feeling but after a lot of thought and discussion felt it was the right and only decision I could make. Things change very quickly and there are very strict rules and responsibilities you have to adhere to.

I know people that declare themselves bankrupt have a certain stigma attached to them and a number of people treat people differently if they know this but I would just like to say that this was not the easy way out for me. I tried to pay my debts for months working 12 hours a day to rectify the situation but as much as I didn’t like the idea I didn’t not have a choice.

I’m currently a few months into the process and felt it maybe helpful to post this incase there are others that maybe in a similar situation. I certainly do not know everything but what I can tell you is that it is not as daunting as it may seem and your health and progression of recovery, in my instance, has been hampered by depression of which a part of this was debt.

If anyone wants to share any thoughts or think I may potentially could help please post.

[Monica1]

Thank you so much for posting this thread and for the chat which I found very helpful. It was nice to talk to you and meet you. I think it would be useful to have this thread to track your progress and any issues that arise. This will help other,people who are going through the same. One of the things we get in this situation is lot of conflicting advice and I have to say from some of the the experts, in my experience, wrong advice.
An example is that everyone recommends stepchange but stepchange will not deal with inland revenue debts and refer On to business debt line, who will ony provide advice and not do the same thing as step change do re budgeting and supporting debt management plans.
I for one have had to get support to apply for a charitable grant to file for bankruptcy. My post gambling situation means no income left to even pay five pounds a week.
I have had this debt for many years but it all could have been paid off I I had not gambled. Over the years, I’ve been ground down and down by the debtsand was sick and tired of constantly dealing with creditors all the time and each and every time circumstances change which in my case was frequent.
There were other things that contributed to my depression, but I have no doubt that debts were a very big part of it.
Again ty, and I will post questions on here re filing for bankruptcy as and when. Good luck with the process and I hope it all goes smoothly. You have manyyears nowinwhich to rebuild your credit. Hope we speak again soon.

[i-did-it]

Yes Tta ,
When stepchange advised me To go bankrupt I really felt it was the end of my world . I ignored their advice as I knew I was still earning and I knew the advice came so quickly that they must be following a formula rather than looking at individual cases.
I am glad I didn’t have To go bankrupt but even the thought of it was so daunting that I feel this thread will be invaluable .

Thank you for starting it and thank you for sharing in chat

[TTA]

I’ve felt down in general today. If I’m in honest nothing in particular happened to cause this but find these days come from time to time.

Some days I reflect more than others and certainly do this when I have too much time on my hands.

Dealing with the consequences everyday are challenging and a strong reminder of how devastating my addiction was, as well as knowing it will following me like my shadow for the rest of my life. The ironic thing is that although I know gambling has caused financial ruin and times are hard, I actually feel richer than I ever have by continuing to be gamble free. Re building is a long process but each day I don’t gamble my life improves I’m sure.

[kathryn]

You said it yourself, you feel richer for being gamble free.
In Australia they have the ‘great Aussie dream’, which is buying your own home.
I had that home…….and I lost it. Through gambling.
I doubt I will ever have another.
It is what it is.
Not having a home of my own doesn’t make me better or worse than anyone else.
Being bankrupt doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else.
We are people. We make mistakes. Its called life.
The trick is though, to learn from it.
Acceptance will make it feel better. We all have regrets, some more than others, some bigger than others.
Move forward, keep busy, today is another day.
Love K xxx

[i-did-it]

Hi TTA , thank you for your post on my thread .
You are so right – it is incredible how far our money goes when we are gamble free. After all we are used to being “careful” about spending on just about everything except gambling.

I get days like that when I look back and think what a mess I have made – but I guess all we can really do is look forward and plan a better future .
Xx

[Semaj]

I am glad you have decided to share your experience here. I think we can all draw strength from each others’ road to recovery. Every successful recovery serves as an inspiration to the rest of us, and shows us that it is possible to break free from this addiction. I hope you will be able to overcome your financial difficulties and rebuild. Let us all rebuild our lives together 🙂

[finding_laura]

welcome to the forum TTA. So many words of wisdom that you are sharing. I found my emotions could easily swing when dealing with the fall out of my addiction. But the general trend was moving forward. And over time I could look back and say wow, look what I have overcome. It made me a stronger person and a better person I believe. We can’t change our gambling past. But we can build a good gambling free future. Take care, Laura

[TTA]

Hi guys thanks a lot for the words of encouragement. It’s nice to how many of you can relate.

Had a much better day today and feeling more positive. It’s a much longer process than I anticipated after stopping but keep trying to remind myself how far I have come and how much better my life is already.

[Raynor98k]

Hi TTA,

Congrats on making it this far, you’re doing great. The fact that you came here and started a thread is a HUGE step towards recovery. My mom filed for bankruptcy 6 years ago (non gambling related), so I have some experience as to how difficult that can be. On the plus side, you can say good bye to credit cards, something that I am in the process of doing. I am not sure what chapter of bankruptcy you filed for (I am familiar with chapter 7). Here in California, that means that you actually get to keep your assets, and get rid of all you unsecured debt. This can be credit cards, auto loans, even some IRS debt. In fact, many inspiring people throughout history have gone through bankruptcy. Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, to name a few. I would look at it as a fresh start. You can always bounce back from this, you’re basically just giving the middle finger to credit card companies and other lenders (and believe me, they deserve it!). Credit card companies are the biggest vultures on this planet. Society has painted bankruptcy as something horrible, when in reality, the only people that want you to think it’s bad is banks and lenders. They want people to think it’s bad, because what actually happens when someone files for bankruptcy is they lose. They lose big time. You deserve this win. I am actually going to congratulate you on this decision. Well done TTA, I am happy you get a fresh start. I would do the same in your shoes. Stay strong and keep posting.

–Nick

[TTA]

I’ve just been chatting with a couple of what I would now like to call friends, in chat.

I wanted to put pen to paper,so to speak, as I feel so postive after our conversation. Although at first daunting I feel that it’s helped me so much. Being around people who understand, do not judge and be so perfectly honest which when you live in a world where you do your best to hide everything is quite overwhealimg.

At my worst times I always felt no one would understand and everyone would be disappointed could quite possibly be a common feeling for everyone and to have people that understand and make you feel comfortable is a incredible feeling!

Thank you!

[i-did-it]

Hi TTA,
Not one of us on here can afford to judge anyone .
We have all the same addiction even though it may have taken us to different places .
I have never stolen for example – but have I – I have deprived my family of my time, luxuries and my focus .
I am so glad you are finding the site supportive .
I too am finding it really helpful – there is such a great group of people on here and as you say we are encouraging and understanding each other which makes it easier .m to stay focused on recovery .

Thank you for your continued support – I enjoyed chat last night also !

[Penulis]

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