[Jagger]

Since i joined this group yesterday, I have read tons of stories to help me get a little „I am not alone in the struggle” feeling. I am beginning to feel that perhaps I can beat this finally. I have quit gambling in my close to 30 years career at least 5 times, most when I hit rock bottom. I am able to get back each time (though it takes time) and all those times the humiliation was motivation for me to do better and I always did ultimately, but then I lived in my home country where I had a decent professional reputation and knew my way around the economy. When I become comfortable and coasting, then I slip again.

Now I live in the US it is a different situation entirely, I did a few GA meetings last year when my struggles really began. I wanted to stop like everyone else in those meetings but I did not know any other place I could get money to cover the mass of embarrassing debts I was in. These weren’t debts that valued what, so it wasn’t long before I was raising money to get „my money” back from the casinos. I felt I was stronger and less emotional and this time once I am done paying my debts I will quit. It didn’t end well, I am in bigger debt this time and I am sick both physically and psychologically by the consequences of my actions

I KNOW in my heart that I MUST STOP GAMBLING, that is the only truth I know. But the next question is „where would I find the money to pay all these debts” especially those I call „immediate chaos”? Most of my debts are not to institutions in the US but to individuals in my home country, which require immediate payment or else some of my family members back home may be in danger. These folks don’t want to hear my sad stories and would not respond in anyway positive if I came clean with them. In fact they would put more pressure on me. So in the immediate, if I stop how else can I make the money (or perhaps the effort) to pay these folks back? I have other possibilities in the pipeline in respect of my business with none looking like they can materialize to money in less than 6 months, for most of my debts 6 days is too long.

I have a tiny strand left of what used to be a great reputation but in a week or two, I wouldn’t have anything left. I always say „I am playing now to get myself out of a hole and save my life from collapse” but I keep digging deeper and though I want to embrace a gambling free life so much, I have tried to figure my way out of my immediate financial challenges and the casino still seems to be the only possibility for me and it makes me sad. Which institution in the US would help me a foreigner consolidate my debts to other foreigners? Non, i live in the US for urgent personal reasons (my child’s health), I have lost significant contacts and opportunities in my home country that I have tapped on in the past to help me fight the consequences of gambling. So my question is, what do I do when the tables offer me the only hope? Though I know the dangers attached to that „hope” my options right now seem limited.

HELP GUYS, would love to hear from your and your individual experiences.

[Jagger]

Second paragraph third line „these aren’t debt that valued whats” should actually read „these aren’t debts that COULD WAIT”. Is there an „edit” button here?

[janey1]

Hi Jagger,

I notice you have a couple of threads in the my journal forum and Velvet has kindly welcomed you in on another one of your threads so I won’t repeat her words but will echo the sentiment :).

Can I suggest though that you stick to one thread in the „My Journal” section? Simply because it means people can find you when they need to in order to support you effectively.

Take care
Janey

[Debtfreeisthewaytobe]

Let me be the first to tell you the only way to get of debt is to quit gambling. As far as your families safety goes PRAY in all serious God will protect them. I can relate entirely I told myself 9yrs ago I just need my 1k back and I would quit. Ha that was a lie 9yrs later I amassed over 50k in debt 33k of it is school loans but guess what I gambled them if I didn’t gamble I would have zero debt. I ran off on bookies but always found a way back in the game. To only lose even more money. I prayed to God if I can only get a job making 1k after taxes I can get out of this mess. Guess what three weeks after I asked God gave it to me this June. I made 7k in 6 weeks with extra work and I don’t have any of it gambled it away and lost the job 7weeks after starting because I went on week bender and chased 3k in loses. Got the money back on a Thursday could have went home and back to my job but nope got room and lost it all back that night in 1fucking hr took me 72 hours of playing to get it back and dump it in 1hr. The point I’m trying to make here is if you really want out of debt everytime you get the urge to gamble just spend all your money on bills you’ll be broke but at least the money went to YOUR GOALS and not the dealer.

[stilltime]

No one can entirely relate to your situation. You have a very unique situation. All I know is that usually people who are highly successful and fall usually have the ability to get back up and achieve that success. You have lots of barriers it sounds, a sick child, in a new country etc. but I think you can do it.

Now, can you step back from all the pain and shame in the gambling losses and deceit of family/friends/business people back home and honestly evaluate if your family will be in danger. Why would they be in danger, do you owe money to people who are capable of hurting your family or is the whole situation just have you so on edge that you are afraid of anything now, even if the likelihood is extremely low. Please let us know your thoughts.

[Jagger]

Back in my parts, debt collection is not a subtle legal process, it can be harassment, physical harm and illegal detention, at one point one of my creditors kidnapped a relative of mine for 5 days until we came up with his money.

[stilltime]

Is it possible to get your family with you in the US?

[stilltime]

Just thinking about you Jagger, how’s things going?

[Jagger]

Thanks Stilltime,

Really bad at this time, really bad. I have an old „frenemy” who I belive has an envy issue with our relationship. I have not seen him for about 3 years and do not know what he does, I helped in times past when he just went through a divorce and was down financially. I was in a good place in my life then and didn’t see any reason not to lend a helping hand. I gave him a job, help pay some of his bills and he began to know some of my business including the fact that I gambled, in my society gambling is not very acceptable and gamblers try to keep some level of secrecy. Well smack in the middle of negotiation with a creditor who was willing to give me some time, someone mentions my name and „old friend” is there, he proceeds to say to them „if he owes you, he will never pay you, he gambles”. Now no matter what, I struggle to pay my debts but this fellow once more has thrown a massive blow at me at my lowest period. I have now being getting DEATH THREATS since yesterday and people have called my wife, brother and sister and even my 79 year old mum that I owe some people and they have sent people to the US to liquidate me. I have called the representative of this group of creditors and he said the reaction is based on the feed back they got from my friend and he is not in control of the actions of the main creditors. Now this fellow has not set his eye on me for 3 years, he has never reciprocated my help for him when he was down. I am tempted to take this up with law enforcement, I don’t scare easily but a threat email was also sent to a colleague about me yesterday.

[Jagger]

I understand his exact words were „don’t waste your time if he owes you, he would never be able to pay he is deep into gambling so „whack” him if you need to. I do not know how to deal with the US law enforcement but I have made an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow to give my side of the story of the debt and consequent threats.

[stilltime]

Such a tough situation, I hope your conversation with the authorities can keep you and your family safe.

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