[Dave43]

Good day!

First of all, before I begin telling my story, I want to say that I have never posted anything similar to this so please do not judge me. :)

Yes, I am gambling addict, as you already expected, and here goes my story…

I‘m currently 24 years old and I‘ve been gambling since I turned 18. My main income source is casinos. Specifically I receive commissions for referred user deposits to the casino. To be honest I hate my job, but at the same time I love the fact that I can make so much money with little of effort. I have been casino affiliate for more than 5 years now and basically it is all I have ever achieved in my adulthood. 

The worst part of my life started about 3 years ago. My close friend and I were gambling addicts at the time, but sadly we never talked about it as an illness, maybe thats because we had so much fun doing it, who knows… I remember the day I picked him up with my BMW and we just flew to the casino to have a blast, as we usually did. The next day came, and I received a call from my girlfriend (now she is my ex-girlfriend.) She was all in tears, and I asked: „Whats going on„… She told my that my friend, who I gambled with previous night, has passed away this morning… I was crying. Crying a lot. He was truly one of a kind. I knew that I would never find such a beautiful soul again. My heart felt so heavy, I cannot express my feelings thru this post…

My life has been going only downwards. I made huge amounts of money, and my gambling addiction was going out of hands… By saying out of hands, I mean I have lost 24000 EUR in a single night… And no, I am not even that rich! At the time I couldn’t afford to lose such a big money! 

In following years, I broke up with my girlfriend (I really loved her), I ruined my relationship with father (he left me when I was an infant, but still he is my father and I care about him) and I completely lost all my money because of this addiction. I don’t even have friends anymore. I don’t know who the hell evens I am… The worst part of this addiction is that you lose your personality. I gave up on my hobbies, and nothing really interests me anymore. All I think about is chasing those losses again…

I hate my job. I make money by dragging new people in to this addiction. My income has reduced because I don’t have the strength to promote this evil machine so much as before. I really want to quit this industry, but I have no clue what else I could be doing since it is all I have ever known… It scares me. And scares me a lot. 

I want to find a new career path. Path that could be meaningful. You and I both know that the true meaning of this life is HELPING OTHERS. And I truly believe that quitting this gambling industry could help me beat my gambling addiction forever. 

I want to ask you for a favor. Please, tell me, where to find the strength for a new path, for a new life… 

Best regards.

[Steev]

It seems that your gambling is tied up with your work life too which makes quitting even more difficult, but I think you are right – you need to change your work if you are going to get out of the mess you are in.

I would say that it makes more sense to get ANY job at the moment – rather than hanging on for one which will be „helping people.” That can come later when you are more stable in your recovery.

The tools for stopping gambling are all outlined on this site and I am sure you are aware of them. YOu will need local support – possibly from counselling or from a self-help group like Gamblers’ Anonymous, few people crack this alone.

If you are really worried about yourself – please phone someone: a list of helplines by country is available here: https://www.befrienders.org/ I wish you well.

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Dave43]

Thank you so much for your message, it means a world to me at this moment. Today I closed my website which generated new casino players and I decided to change my life. I applied for volunteer work at a crisis and counseling center. I am currently waiting for their response.

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