[jowisn90]

Hello everyone. This is my first ever post on the forum. I have been looking through the forum a lot today and read a lot of things I have found interesting and can hopefully help me as pretty much everything on here relates to me. I am here today hoping and desperate that this will be the thing that can finally work for me so I can get my life back. Here is my story and how I am where I am today.

Betting started for me personally when I was around 14 years old. Before that, the only thing I knew about betting what my grandad having bets on horses when I was younger but I didn’t really know what was going on or understand. However, when I was around 14 my best friend’s family ran a local betting shop. As it was all fun back then they would let me and my friend come in and put small bets on football games when a big match was on or a major tournament like the world cup. This is my first real experience of betting and how fun it could be. For the next few year this was the only thing I ever done, if I had a spare pound or two me and my friend would go and put a bet on for a little bit more excitement when watching a game on TV. For years it was fine, I was a kid I didn’t have much cash anyway, just pocket money off my parents. As time went on I would bet more and more then when I got my first job at 17 the bets were turning more frequent and up to maybe £5’s rather than just the £1. However, it was all just fun and no problem. Then somewhere around 20 year old it all just changed, I was betting more and more to the point I was placing several bets every day and could be spending up to £50 a day. As I wasn’t earning a huge amount and had little outgoings, I would say I spent around 3 quarters of my monthly salary every month on betting. I never even considered this to be a problem at the time.

Again time went on and the betting just continued to get worse and worse to the point I had to watch any football I possibly could at any time of the day or night. At around 21 I started taking out loans to fund the betting and would be spending my monthly wage on a bad month within the first week. After around 6 months of this and bets of £1000 stakes to chase winnings everything had totally got out of control. My life was a total mess, all I cared about was betting. All I thought about 24/7 was betting. Nothing else mattered. At around 23 everything came together and my family sat me down and asked me what was going on. I had changed and it was easily noticeable. I wasn’t the same person. I used to always be out doing thing, exercising and socialising but now I was either at work (betting) or lying in my bed betting. Every time my parents asked me to go anywhere I had no money. The strangest thing is though, until this day I hadn’t even considered I had a problem. I thought it was normal. I of course lied, said everything was fine until a few months later when I totally broke down. I had ran myself into £30k worth of debt. I had no nice clothes, I had put on a lot of weight and I was really just in a total mess. I pretty much broke down after some huge losses and being unable to get any more money I finally came clean to my parents. They were of course upset, angry but in a way happy that I had finally explained what was going on. They helped me out of the financial mess (not by giving me money, but by consolidating everything which was around 15 different loans) and treating me like a child again. They took control of my money, took my bank card and pretty much gave me pocket money out of my own wages. At first I hated it, I missed betting and I felt stupid. However, time went on and the debt was quickly coming down and I was getting better. I actually got my life back and in that time I met my now partner.

Now the next step…2 years had passed and the debt was almost gone, everything was good and I was happy. I was even managing to place small bets again back like when I was a teenager and enjoy it. Then I got all control back and somehow it has all happened again. I am now 26, I have a consolidated debt in my parents name AGAIN…Currently sat at around 23k. I have 4 payday loans totalling around £2000 and I have already bet my whole months’ pay and cannot afford any of my bills. I have totally hit rock bottom and I cannot see any way out. For the first time since last time, the past 24 hours has been constant thoughts of suicide as it seems the only way out.

The worst thing about it all….My girlfriend and I are expecting a child in December and she (understandably) is not willing to live with me due to this. I have been given final warnings about my betting and if it happened again she would leave me and even that hasn’t stopped me. So as I sit here today typing this, I have a pregnant girlfriend who is seriously considering ending everything (how she hasn’t before now I do not know)…a son on the way who I will not be able to help and be a total let down too and bills and debts I cannot pay to friends and family all because of this. I know that I need to stop it and I hope that this can be the start.

I hope people have any help and advice on how I can somehow stop this and get my life back and want to be alive again. I should have so much to look forward too and this should be the most exciting time of my life but all I really want to do is throw myself under a train so that it can all just end as I am sick and tired of the constant struggle and constant letting down of everyone.

Thank you for reading.

[stilltime]

Welcome. Posting here can be your start to ending the madness once and for all. Admitting you have a problem and getting support is very important for your recovery. You are likely in a whirlwind of emotion and panic. That is normal, you are likely in a state of shock. All of us have been there in varying degrees. It will get better, don’t harm yourself over it. You are young, you have your entire life ahead of you. You have a child on the way. You are not going to win your money back, you have to just chalk it up to that money wasn’t for you, it’s the betting shops money now and that will never change. You are a compulsive gambler and CGs never win. Even if you hit a big win, you would have sent it all back plus some. First step is getting help and damage control, STOP THE BLEEDING, STOP DIGGING THE HOLE.

Now you can start repairing. Repair your relationships, show action by going to meetings and focusing on important areas in your life. Start making yourself better, maybe learn some new hobbies or get better at your occupation or learn a new occupation.

It’s not all going to be rainbows or roses and in the short run it’s going to be a struggle with plenty of tears and emotions but eventually you will start to feel a little bit better and day by day you can work through it. But for now just one day at a time. We have all been there, this is a very understanding group. Go to the helpline and chat with Harry. He was my first point of contact several weeks ago when I had a meltdown, he was very helpful. Go into group sessions on this site and connect with Charles, he is amazingly helpful. You can get out of this, life is better without gambling, you can make it. Best of luck and I’ll be following your progress.

[jowisn90]

Hi. Thank you for replying and the suggestions. The last couple of days have went OK for me, mainly due to having no money available but I have felt better too. I will try the group sessions, too .

[jowisn90]

So, it is just over a week since I last updated. I have managed to sort my finances out which has now left me in a position where I can make payments on time and pay off my debts, although it leaves me with very little money for the foreseeable future which is sad, but that is just how it is due to what has happened I am afraid.

I am worried that the lack of money is going to be something which makes me want to gamble but it has got to be a matter of learning to control that and accepting that betting is not and never will be the answer or resolution.

So for now, things have improved and are looking slightly up all though it is a still a long, slow road ahead.

[charles]

Well done on your gamble free time.

You are showing good awareness of risks. It is important that we see the benefits of not gambling and “….very little money for the foreseeable future….” will make it hard for you to do that.

There is a risk in trying to pay things off too quickly. Trying to clear debts in say 2 years and having to live like a hermit would likely seem a lot longer paying things over 3 or 4 years and leaving a little fun money. Living like a hermit is also more likely to eventually bring “*** it, what’s the point.” thoughts that can take peole back to gambling.

Be honest with yourself. Are the repayments sustainable? If not then maybe get some proper advice,in the Uk the Ciitizens Advice Bureau or Stepchange and good for that. Free advice.

Keep posting.

[Autor]

Postovi