[help123]

Hi All
Today is my first day of quitting gambling.  I have tried so many time before but this time i am more determined than ever.
I have been gambling for 7 years now.  Started with going to race courses with friends occasionally then over a period of time I was out of control once I discovered online sites.
I would get paid on the 1st of the month, by the 4th I would have no money left.  I would not pay bills and rely on my wife to bail me out.  She is such a lovely person and I cant do this to her or me anymore. 
Apart from my wife no one one knows I have this problem.  Unfortunately my Father died suddenly last year,  he died not knowing the pain I was experiencing with being a compulsive gambler.  I feel so ashamed that I have let him down.  He died thinking I was a honest, hardworking, caring person.  I am when I am not gambling.
I want to tell my Mother but she is so ill.  I don’t know what to do.
I want to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and be proud of who I am.  I know it will be a hard and a long journey to control this disease.
I will be writing a journal everyday.  Thanks for reading. 
 
 

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