[fpsbluefire]

“sorry for the grammer in advance, just tell me and hopefully i can edit it.”

Hey, I’m a 22-year-old college student on winter break at the moment. Started gambling this month as i somehow dropped into a stream on twitch where the streamer was playing blackjack and was making money. It was consistent 100+ a day so I thought to myself, wow, i can do the same as well. 

So I registered onto a site and made mistake number 1. Playing with money i don’t have. I’m a broke college student so i thought playing blackjack would be the way to make money over the winter break. I was up initially but the way withdrawal worked on the site as it took 3-4 days pending and you could also do a reversal on your withdrawals, which is what i did as i was coming back every day to play and eventually lost everything. I was up like $200 or something but was playing with $1000 bankroll but also cash advance so once i lost that, I ended up selling my gaming pc to recover from the debt.I ended up playing a bit more and deposited money i did not have, to try and recover, i had cash advanced initially but since it was an ECheck, it ended up bouncing from my Chequing account due to non-sufficient funds. They closed my account and basically requested me to pay the money asap. Once i get the money i will eventually but i have nothing on me at the moment. My gaming pc was my only asset and i lost it.

A few days later, I registered to a better website with better withdrawal times. It was going well for the past two weeks as i breaking even or up a bit. I was still playing with money i don’t have, as i was pulling cash advance off my credit card and playing with, hoping for a bit of a return. I ended up pulling my cap on my cash advance limit for the day as I was withdrawing every time I was up $100 but also depositing to keep playing as i had nothing else to do since my gaming pc was gone and nothing else to do with my time.  so i thought i would use a different credit card to pull from and it ended up triggering the system i use to deposit and withdraw aka IDebt Payments. It was whatever but It was Christmas and everyone i was watching on twitch gambling was making a profit so i decided to try a different deposit method which was straight from my credit card, it was like a $33 fee but it was whatever as long i got to gamble and make a profit. Ended up depositing $200 from my credit card, total charge was $233. It actually ended up being a good day, made $1500. Called it a day, next morning i woke up and went straight at it. Made another $2500, i was at $3800 profit from $200. I thought to myself i could make my money back to pay the other site where the ECheck bounced and quit with a profit. I didn’t really have any other choice but to play since what else was i going to do with $4000 sitting in my gambling account since my withdrawal method was blocked.So I kept playing and it went downhill as i lost 2k then lost 1k and then 1k. Back at $0. Deposited $500 to recover, got to 1k but got greedy and gambled to chase my lose of 4k but lost everything. I ended up putting my gambling account on cooldown for a week. 

I have $2900 credit card debt, $1960 pending on IDebt Payment ( waiting for my account to get unblocked) and i get paid for a part-time job i recently got for the winter break around 470 getting paid tomorrow and still two more weeks of work till school or either i get let go early. So a total of $2430 income but $2900 debt. Making credit card debt about $500 after all the fees and interest still left to pay. Next week i get paid around $300, so $200 still left then they week after i should have it all paid off.

But my brain is thinking about what i can do now.

I have come down to three options where i can gamble what i have in my idebt payment account

1. if I gamble $1962  – then profit $1486.01  

2. if I don’t gamble then – i owe $500

3. if I lose then i owe, $2,434.99

I leaning towards gambling but I’m not sure, decided to make this post and see what kinda of feedback I get. Still, have a week till i make the decision. I getting nightmares still about the $4000 lost, what i could have done with the money such as buying a pc with it. but if i win, will be up roughly $1,500. I just wanna profit and buy a gaming pc and not touch gambling but only time will tell. I just wanted a place to let my thoughts out as i dont really have anyone to talk to as i am ashamed of what im doing to make money. I have lied to my friends as i only tell them about my wins and not loses.

[Steev]

I hope you are okay and ready to listen to the advice you will get on here. No-one will suggest that another bet is the answer to your problem. This was all caused by gambling and cannot be cured by gambling. I can see from your post that your mind is in turmoil, should I do this or that, working out the odds – the “what ifs.” So far you have lost a pc. I lost a house through gambling. People have lost families, their liberty and sadly their lives … Walk away – find something else to keep your mind occupied and away from gambling thoughts. Pay back the $500 and see that as money well spent to keep you away from a life of misery and heartbreak.

[velvet]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[brucey]

It’s not worth it. For us, winning is actually worse than losing. I don’t bet any more because I am scared of winning. As you have experienced, you tell yourself you will win and withdraw at x amount, but even if you win, somehow it all goes back in + extra. Whether it’s immediately or a few weeks/months later. And the next time all the amounts will be even bigger because you are trying to fix an even bigger hole. Until one day you find yourself in a 100k debt and wish you’d made the right decision when you were 500 down.

[fpsbluefire]

Decided to play with $ 100, got up to $ 280. thought i could get up more, but lost it all. At least this was a good trial run instead of playing with the $1,960. Hopefully, I’m done with gambling after today. I just get this urge to keep playing when I’m up 100+ or whatever. I can probably be up 10k and still be gambling. I guess its something i will never understand.

[Steev]

If you are a compulsive gambler then the amount doesn’t matter.  I knew someone who won a million and used that to gamble with.  A few years of hard gambling and it had all gone.  If you are staking more than you can afford, you have a problem.  If you are gambling to chase losses, you have a problem.  If you are gambling with someone else’s money either borrowed or stolen, you have a problem.  Gambling is addictive to some of us and can only be addressed by stopping. It isn’t what a gambler wants to hear, but one day he or she will need to hear and put a stop on it.  I wish you well.

[vera]

There is only one thing to understand. A compulsive gambler NEVER WINS! Everything we “win”, we lose back and everything we chase we lose again. Like a dog chasings it’s tail. A waste of time.

[fpsbluefire]

What you guys wrote actually made sense to me, been also been watching videos about gambling addiction like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03kQXimVcrw.

Realizing that it starts small and adds up. Such a cruel world we live in.

[fpsbluefire]

Been watching a few streamers and they been making 1k+ and i just get the feeling i can do the same but i know it won’t end the same because i won’t know when to quit or call it a day.

[brucey]

The streamers are working with the casinos, their accounts are specially adjusted to give a higher percentage return and induce urges in those watching. The sole purpose of their streaming is to get referral clicks through the affiliated casinos, where the streamers will earn 30-40% of your losses when you sign up under them. The more you lose, the more they earn. This is called revenue share, you can look it up. I suggest you stop watching these as it keeps the demon urges alive. I no longer look at odds for anything as just looking at these messes with my head even if I don’t actually gamble.

[fpsbluefire]

but they are playing blackjack, its not slots or anything. there is no way they can rig up blackjack. I just took a nap and the urge is gone but need to find ways around it.

[Steev]

What would you be doing if you weren’t gambling?  What did you give up when you started to go full on?  Sport, music, work, the outdoors?  That’s your way around it – by doing something that does NOT involve gambling, in any way.  Also work on your recovery.  Speak to people both those close to you and people who have trodden the same path. It is hard in the early days – you still have the mind of a gambler even if you are not betting.  Get good support and look after yourself.

[fpsbluefire]

        So I started playing again on Friday, small bets, nothing crazy. Profited 140 on Friday, played today was up 200. Kept playing and lost it all. Was playing with a $500 bankroll so I was down 500, deposited another 500 in the hopes of recovering the 500 i had lost and went all in, Lost . 

          Now I’m down 1k and I’m not sure what to do. Made a deposit of 1.2k in the hopes of recovering, went all in and won but this was the first time i was questioning myself to even why i put myself in a position like this. 

            Gambling is no way of making money and not worth the stress. I didn’t know what to do. If i were to lost 1.2k the all in bet, that would mean i was down 2.2k. I am grateful to have won the all in, but it’s not worth it. I tried to chase a lost, it worked out well this time, but it wont end the same every time. 

              If i were to lost this all in, would have been down 2,2k. Knowing me , i would have probably chased the lost by depositing a 2.2k and going all in and losing it .making me down 4.4k. 

           That’s how it all starts. Going to Be Gambling free from now and hopefully refer to his post when i do get urges. I’m grateful to not be in serious shit such as selling a house, or car.

         I feel like I’m going to relapse but hopefully, referring back to this post will help me. I just need an online job that can consume my time. I thought i could make this gambling thing a job but its too stressful when you’re in the hole.

Edit

Now that I’m not down,i lost that feeling of being scared of gambling and its only been a few minutes. i feel like playing small bets i can afford, like 50 or something. but i know I’m gonna chase the small loses. Was talking with a friend about this and he was saying how i have an addiction to everything when it comes to shopping to gaming. I have dedicated myself to one thing and not a bunch. I think that my problem.

[MurrS7]

I mean no offence buddy but what’s the point of asking for out advice if you’re just going to let it go in one ear and out the other? I read this thread and people telling you their stories and how we also started betting a couple of
Hundred dollars here and there and that turned into hundreds of THOUSANDS of dollar of DEBT. Losing friends, family members, ruining relationships, losing our dignity and mental health, destroying ourselves through
This painful addiction. It was almost like you didn’t even read what people were telling you. You just keep placing more bets. Well I hope you read this and I hope you stop, or that little 2-4000$ will turn into hundreds of thousands as you grow up and this addiction grows stronger. Wish you the best, it’s not worth it.

[jen3]

I agree with Steve. I wanted to respond sooner but I was kind of annoyed with your post. It almost sounds like you were looking for advice to keep gambling vs to stop. It’s reqlly not about how much we win and loose because in the end we all loose if we continue to gamble. If that was not tire we would not waste our time on this site.

[fpsbluefire]

It just that i got nothing else to do with my free time. I always gamble on the weekends when i got absolutely nothing to do. I try to sleep it out till the weekday when i go back to work but sometimes i kick back on twitch and watch a few streamers gamble and then get tempted to play myself. 

          But i think I’m done for real. I know how much worse this can get. I ended up closing my account for the online casino and IDebt payment account so there is no real way for me to play unless i contact support but even then its a 7 day wait period before it actually get unblocked. I did unblock it once, hopefully not again. 

                  School is starting again and also bought a new pc setup so hopefully, my attention will be more towards gaming and not gambling. Let’s see how it goes but hopefully, i don’t pick up gambling again in the summer when I’m done school but its been a winter habit. I only started gambling with real money in December 2018. It’s been a rollercoaster and an interesting winter break.

                In my head, its like when i need money, i depend on gambling. I need to change that mindset. Like i don’t know, another way you can make money online. I don’t know if this makes sense. I’m a student at the end of the day so I don’t have the time to be working full time. Might try to get a part-time job on the weekends hopefully to keep me busy on the weekends. Need new habit to keep me busy essentially. You guys did recommend a few stuff but it hard to adapt to a new habit/lifestyle i guess. I’m pretty sure it would have been worse if i haven’t had you guys tell the story you have. it kept me more in line and controlled rather going full tilt and etc. It could have been worse is what i tell myself.

[sunnys]

I HAVE READ ALL THE POSTS HERE AND EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU THE SAME THING. DO NOT CHASE WHAT YOU LOST. IT IS VERY EVIDENT THAT YOU ARE A YOUNG AND NEW GAMBLER HOWEVER YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US THAT HAS HAD YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. WE JUST DONT KNOW WHEN TO STOP. WE DO NOT HAVE THAT SELF CONTROL.
WIPE YOU DEBTS AND TAKE THIS AS A EXPERIENCE AND NEVER DO IT AGAIN OTHERWISE NEXT TIME YOU WILL BE IN A BIGGER DEBT WHICH WILL ALSO INFLUENCE YOUR EDUCATION
I HOPE THIS HELPS

[sunnys]

I HAVE READ ALL THE POSTS HERE AND EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU THE SAME THING. DO NOT CHASE WHAT YOU LOST. IT IS VERY EVIDENT THAT YOU ARE A YOUNG AND NEW GAMBLER HOWEVER YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US THAT HAS HAD YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. WE JUST DONT KNOW WHEN TO STOP. WE DO NOT HAVE THAT SELF CONTROL.
WIPE YOU DEBTS AND TAKE THIS AS A EXPERIENCE AND NEVER DO IT AGAIN OTHERWISE NEXT TIME YOU WILL BE IN A BIGGER DEBT WHICH WILL ALSO INFLUENCE YOUR EDUCATION
I HOPE THIS HELPS

[brucey]

It ‘could be’ worse? No. It WILL get worse. You don’t want to stop gambling, you only want to stop losing. But you still haven’t got it into your head that you can’t stop losing unless you stop gambling. Because you will never stop when you win.

Watching streamers will continue to make it worse. Why not just unsubscribe? It WILL ruin you.

[fpsbluefire]

so far I’ve stopped gambling. My gambling account is on cooldown period infinite.  Would have to contact them through live support to unblock even then its a  7 day wait period. When i go onto twitch, all it does is recommend whoever is streaming blackjack. Not sure how to block the entire category. Haven’t looked into it.

 I’m down too much to try to make a comeback.

[fpsbluefire]

I ended up digging myself into a bigger hole but can still get out, gonna take a lot of hours to pay of the debt. Didn’t think I would I still be gambling

[nevertoolate]

i started small, gambling 100-200 dollars at max.

Once i had a job making 4000-5000 dollars a month, the amount i was betting also got bigger.

We all try to chase the loss and that’s when you get a real problem. gambling your paycheck after paycheck thinking eventually you will get lucky enough to get on a roll and get all your losses back.

sounds like you are just beginning to gamble and I really hope you can stop because i know how gambling can f**k your life up especially when you are chasing your loss.

i used to think i was different than other problem gamblers when i first started gambling. what you are thinking was exactly what i was thinking. stop if you can, i think it is the best advice i can give you

[Montserrat]

Hi to all

I also started as a Student to gamble .for same reasons wanted money or chase losses .

It took me 22 years to finally stop . All I can say it is not worth it.i destroyed my family financially , relationships and my self-esteem.

Gambling is a progressive disease that just gets worse over time if one do not stop .

It is not worth it .

We are only one bet away from disaster

[charles]

FPSbluefire. I’m afraid “luck” has nothing to do with it. It is an addiction. Now you have a choice – start taking some of the actions that have been suggested to you or carry on with things slowly getting worse – it is a progressive problem.
n
n I hope you make the right choice and look forward to reading the actions that will help you stop gambling. the key word there being actions. Words, promises and intentions never stopped anyone gambling.

[Author]

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