[dj2011]

Clean for three months (100 days exactly) then I recently relapsed not once, but twice. The past two Sunday’s I have given in to temptation. First I lost £95, then I lost £80 last night / this morning. I have been gambling on and off for the last 17 years. The longest I stopped for was a year, but then my dad died and I relapsed badly. I haven’t been able to control my urges since. Things are bad at work, there is a chance I could lose my job and it’s making me extra wary about money ,but rather than saving it I have new squandering it. I have a happy home life and live with my wife, we have been together for 13 years.

I keep trying to beat this. I keep asking myself, why do I do this to myself?! Why do I keep repeating my mistakes? I wouldn’t even begin to imagine the amount I have lost in the course of my life, probably into five figures if I’m honest.

I’m not a rich man, far from it. £175 might not sound like a lot to lose in two weeks but it is to me.

How do I beat this permanently???

[charles]

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi dj2011 and welcome to the forum. Well done on looking for help.

Read the other stories here, you will see a lot of thigns you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

What barriers can you put in place? Does your wife know abpout your gambling? Or that it is a problem? Could she help you with accountability?

How to beat this permanently? Well my own opinion is that if we ever think we have done that then we are ina very dangerous position. The most important advice i could ever give would be to keep using support – if we could do it on our own then we wouldn’t have a problem in the first place.

Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.

[8675309]

DJ,
Welcome. I have been here for a short time, but this has really helped me to be able to read about people just like me. Good luck on your journey!

[female g]

have you looked into getting help before???
There are a few things you can do right of the bat. These barriers can prevent you from further financial failure and stop you from gambling at least until you can stop yourself from gambling. At least that should be the goal.
First if you go to the casino you ban yourself from going. 2cd tear up credit cards. and have debit set up to only use to pay for what you need. 3rd if you feel safe enough talk to your wife and give her info on this addiction. Get involved in meetings, find a support person. My biggest urges hit when I have extra cash on hand I find. Most of my money is tied up so that I can’t do any real damage anymore that takes the pressure of. I talk to my hubby alot and he has been a big supporter. I had a very bad urge the other night and I had told myself that I was going to go no matter what my hubby had to say about it. For the first time doing what I had done many times before changed and I listened to him basically telling me what I knew to be true. We argued for an hour and then I felt the urge begin to weaken and let it go altogether. That was real progress for me and now I can remain gamble free for another while. I have 31/2 months in recovery and have decided I didn’t want to let my hubby down after all the support he has offered me. I have gambled 16-17 years very heavy at times and lighter at other times and none at all at times. I have had 5 sessions of hypnosis this time and do believe it has made a difference and it may even be why I was able to prevent myself from a slip , if not completely at least partly. hope this helps you and i hope the job will work out for you too. FG

[vera]

I have found, DJ, that when I reach “targets” eg “100 Days” “Three months”, whatever , I tend to become complacent. At these times we also will have put a few bob together, (Its not uncommon for a CG to have built up a secret stash “for the rainy day”) HA! Knowing you are at risk of losing your job or feeling insecure in any financial area can also cause panic to set in and we feel “I have to WIN this money to compensate the shortfall”. Sadly, it doesn’t work like that DJ. If it did the bookies/casinos and Recovery Sites would be closed down because CGs would be rich. But we are NOT rich. We are poor and our poverty will escalate to the point of despair if we don’t stop NOW.
For a start there are two things we need to drill into our brain, DJ.
1. A CG will never never win.
2. Carrying money is like carrying a loaded shot gun for a CG.
Now is the time to sit down with your family and ask for their help. You have been given suggestions above but CGs are bad at listening. We only hear what we want to hear!
The good news is you CAN stop again DJ. Don’t torture yourself but while you are still hurting, put things in place to prevent you going back to the scene of the crime as we do.
I hear you on the money loss. What might be a small amount to some, could be a life changing amount to others. Keep posting. God bless.

[Author]

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