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I hope you guys make it, really do. Especially Murr, who I’m very worried about right now. We haven’t heard from him in at least a month. His story is very compelling, and I want it to have a happy ending, not see him tortured by this terrible disease. If memory serves, he ran out of money to gamble which while it isn’t ideal, may have helped.
People are so much more than their gambling problem. Murr could be any one of us. In fact, it seems he is…
Wow, that’s a terrible predicament to be in. I feel really bad for you Murr, but hey – you are young! You can still mess up at 31 and have time to turn things around. Start saving for retirement the second you have those debts re-paid. Even a 1 year difference can be huge, so the earlier you start the better due to compound interest. You know how it works against you when you have credit card debt? It can also work FOR you once you start saving/investing. Look at it that way.. Instead of owing $75,000 you could have that in a Roth IRA for your future!
YOu did it once, you can do it again!
Hi Murr,
Count me as another person rooting for you and hoping you’ll keep us updated. The honesty you’ve shared is phenomenal, and I think that’s key to beating this addiction. Your 18 months GF streak is PROOF you have what it takes to beat this. There isn’t a person here who hasn’t stumbled along the way. In fact, I think its a necessary part of the process. You get knocked down, but then get right back up!
Block/forget about the negative people in your life and associate with positive, well meaning people who want the best for you. There are many here, so I hope you’ll take advantage…
Murr doesn’t deserve to be flogged on here. You could have made your point a lot more tactfully. He would have understood, everyone else would have too. Not cool Plaza, not cool.
He isn’t perfect by my God, who is. And is there ANYONE that hasn’t relapsed on here? I dunno how many posts I’ve read about people trying to quit, but not a single one can I remember where they DIDN’T relapse. I don’t have this addiction, but you don’t need to have it to understand how powerful it is. That’s the bad news..
The good news is that people HAVE beaten it and turned their lives around. Murr did it once, he can do it again. I for one am in his corner and hoping this inpatient thing will help. It’s clear this addiction is strong, destructive to not just one’s finances and relentless. It never sleeps. Never goes away. Lies in wait until you are most vulnerable, then strikes without warning, takes everything and disappears for awhile.
Not easy fighting a stealthy opponent. Extreme measures required to beat it, and one of those is giving up access to your own money/credit. Would seem to put a stop to things, at least in most cases. If you’re not doing this, you’re not ready to quit IMO..
Way to go Murr!
You sound like you’re in a better place. Keep fighting, and keep winning. We all want to see you succeed, and many here are rooting for you..
Don’t do it!
Murr,
It’s OK man, we understand. I agree its time to tell the family, as you’ll need their support too (in addition to professional help). If you have a family that’s willing to stand by you, take you in, clothe you, feed you etc. AND you have your health – you have EVERYTHING. Please don’t compound things with the booze, it will only cause you to make more bad choices. Remember this, OK? You lost the battle, not the war.
Big difference
The US took a big hit at Pearl Harbor, something it almost didn’t recover from. Almost.. But look what happened – we turned things around at the battle of Midway. Struck a crippling blow to the Japanese fleet, and went on to drop the big one on Hiroshima/Nagasaki to win the war. I believe 100% you’ll turn this around too. You don’t need this sick, vicious cycle of winning it all, losing it all, winning some back then losing everything (plus some). It’s no way to live, and I hope and pray you take just 1 day at a time and beat this disease – once and for all!
Please keep us posted. I really want to see “Day 1 gF”, “Day 20 gf, Day 90 gf etc). We believe in you Murr!
While we’d all love an update from Murr, it has to be on his time.
If he has stumbled further, it doesn’t matter. We all stumble, we all lose and we all make mistakes. Murr, if you’re reading this just know we’re all pulling for you, and know deep down you’re a great guy. Someone who went 1.5 years without gambling! That proves you can do it. A recent slip doesn’t negate that fact. Try and resolve to be GF for life – one day at a time.
God bless you Murr..
Great job so far! Rally happy for you and want to see this continue…
I would avoid ALL types of gambling, and resist the temptation to rationalize. Once you do that, your goose is cooked. ALL gambling is a threat to your well being, even a bet with no monetary value! The disease is looking for an opening to re-surface and hurt you.
DON’T LET IT..
That’s great man! You ARE doing it…. so keep on doing what you’re doing!!
Staying away from games, friends who want you to come over to watch, let’s go to Vegas for my Bday…. these temptations need to be avoided. I don’t think you can’t be friends with them, but if they’re REAL friends, they’ll respect your decision not to put yourself in a tempting situation.
Murr, I hope you’re OK. Just know you’re not alone, OK?
I once worked in insurance, we had WorldCom’s disability and managed their 401k plan. I was the disability guy. One day, a woman called me (wrong area), she was crying and asking about her 401k. Before I could tell her she got the wrong guy, she relayed her tragic story – had over a million dollars in her 401k…. all in WorldCom stock. Due to rules in place then, she couldn’t sell it. Was just forced to watch it go down, down, down. After the bankruptcy, it was worth less than 5,000.
A tragic story to be sure, but it illustrates what can happen to anyone with bad judgement. She was 67 and ready to punch out. Then, disaster struck and now she has virtually nothing. My point is, it’s not about winning or losing – life will give us plenty of both.
It’s about playing the hand you’re dealt. You have proven you can make good choices, and we all like and believe in you here. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and realize today… is a new day!
Maybe you missed it.. he recently re-lapsed.
But you know what? Like me, you came here and read his story. The ups and downs, twists and turns and it made YOU (and me!) feel good he beat it for 1.5 years. Scratch that, made me feel GREAT! And Murr, that says a LOT don’t you think? Lots of people here support you, even after many relapses. We all want to see you succeed!
Hang on to that, and know that this recent re-lapse isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it might just be the beginning of being GF – for life. No more guilt, shame, lying etc.. No more sleeping with one eye open, no more dreadful family or GF interactions. That’s the kind of life you deserve.
Go for it!
Hi Murr,
It’s ok brother, we all make mistakes. Sometimes over and over, which is hard but it happens. I came across your thread several days ago and have read it from beginning to end. You are STILL an inspiration to plenty of people here, because you DID it once – you can do it again! You can quit, pay off your debt and live a gambling free life.
This disease is ridiculously powerful. Never in a million years would I think so many intelligent, well educated and otherwise reasonable people would be “taken over” by this addiction. You used the term “trance”, or something similar. Not the first time I’ve read it… something about gambling poisons the brain, and turns otherwise logical people – destructive.
Anyway, I have never gambled because I have the addictive behavior – I just bring it to the gym. Sounds like you were doing that too. Make that your new addiction, and just know – we are all pulling for you!
God bless you, and may he give you strength…
It’s OK man, it’s OK to slip.
Today is a new day, day #1 of your CG addiction going BYE BYE. Think of all the pain, guilt and shame its caused you. How much better off you’d be today if you never discovered gambling. THEN resolve that YOU are in control and calling the shots – not the disease.
I know you want to stop, can see it in your posts. And I believe you can.. Just find people you can go to/tell when the urge hits, who can be strong for you… until you are strong enough on your own. It will be a lifelong battle, but it’s you or the disease.
The two just can’t co-exist…