[izzi25]

Thanks SBT.
My pay came and it went straight into my sisters account. It really is a sense of relief. However I am not very happy that my sister said she wouldnt transfer me some money so that I could take some and just take it out at the bank with my license. I am away at the moment with family and she is in Melbourne at work. I only wanted like $40 and she totally said there would be none of this transferring business. That is total control and I dont like it. She wants to personally hand me my spending money in increments. She should really lighten up after I self exclude from all the places. Even if I wanted to go, I couldnt. This arrangement is sort of weighing on me now. I have plans for April and May and im worried she will be putting all the money towards debt that she wont save anything. I hope this arrangement doesnt get ugly at all.
Today is day 8. Hope you are all doing good. Hope anyone has further advice for me. We really havent had a chance to speak one on one with my sister and she hasnt been responding to my emails. Only a fool plays a fools game

[izzi25]

Tomorrow night is pay night. Have all the barries in place including my pay going directly into my little sisters bank account. Tonight I am going away for three to four days with family. This will allow me to clear my mind and to just remember who I am. The coming of the new year really has impacted me to remember and to embrace my dreams and desires. Today is day 6. I keep telling myself you havent cg in 2012 and this beg smile just comes upon my face and I rejoyce. Feeling so empowered right now. This can be accomplished it can be beaten. Dont give up and don’t give in. We were born to be free.

[izzi25]

A year of NO SURRENDER! you got it.
Carole8755 thats such great advice. Honestly I have ambitions to travel for a little bit in 2012. I probably dont deserve it and its not ideal to spend money I could use to pay off debt however I cant continue to punish myself forever for the cg addiction. I have no idea how one pays that much debt off in a year. If my income was more than yes but it isnt. And really when I get myself self excluded from all the cg venues I really wont need my sister to control my money. But will go with it for now. Until I feel myself getting some control back in my life.
Happy New Year to all you beautiful people. Thanks for the encouragement and love. We can and we will do this.

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