[begoodboy]

Hi. This is what I’ve been going through with gambling for the past few years. I just need some support and suggestions on how to not fall back into this trap. Please help me.

I try and tell myself I’m not addicted, but when I look back and see my actions I’ve realized I am. I go through phases. I can go half a year without gambling and not even really think about. I’ll pay off the 2 or 3 thousand dollars I’ve wasted and I’ll start again. This has been going on for maybe 6 or 7 years. At the beginning it was no big deal, recreational not losing alot. As the years have gone by I’ll lose a few thousand at a time stop for 6 months, maybe less, maybe more and do the same thing over again. I’d say over the past 7 years I’ve maybe lost on average 3 k a year. I gambled at the beginning of this year and lost about 4k. I just lost 3k in the past week and I feel sick. I don’t know how to stay away. I ban my accounts online but I always make other ones and go to other websites. I chase my loses that is my problem. I gamble and I have mood swings. Now that I’ve lost and I’ve realized I’m going to stop hopefully for good I feel better but It doesn’t take away from what I have done.

I am ashamed. I want help but I’m afraid someone is going to find out. No one knows that I’ve been doing this over the years. I have a family with a small child and whenever I lose I sit here crying thinking how I have let my family down. I have let myself down. I feel sick. I do have money saved up but it still hurts. I am very upset with myself. Now I have a credit card bill with gambling debt again. I just need some words of wisdom. I don’t want to do this ever again. Please help.

thanks for reading

[velvet]

Hello What Do I Do and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Brendan_UT]

I was scared about my wife finding out, until she found out and it was one of the biggest burdens off my shoulders. No longer do I have to be paranoid, keeping secrets, and lying about my gambling all of the time. My one regret is that I didn’t initiate my recovery the first or the second time (I relapsed over the summer). I really wish I could have initiated my recovery, but part of the reason I didn’t is that maybe I couldn’t–I had a full blown addiction. Like you, I could control and refrain from gambling in short amounts of time, but it was always within the full understanding that I was only quitting temporarily in order to gamble again. I’d lose money, take out debt, and then build up in order to gamble again–rinse, repeat.

So anyhow, I encourage you to maybe explore the possibility that you are going to need the support of those around you, in order to kick this thing in the butt.

[Brendan_UT]

Just speaking for myself, but one of the reasons that I was able to relapse as easily as I did is because I wanted to try to fight this on my own, without the support of others. I tried to temper the damage after the first time she found out, which meant that I didn’t tell her about the checking account that I had which was still open and I would use in order to gamble without her knowing. At the time she found out (still talking about the first time), I truly believed that I could just stop using this account and my problem would be solved. For the longest time, I didn’t use the checking account. Then, I experienced some high stress stuff in my personal life and I was back in the “game” within an hour. From there, I spiraled out of control. During my relapse, I thought I was able to hide my behavior, but it was so obvious to my wife–just goes to show how sick our addiction truly is–our perception of reality is off from the truth.

So all of this is to say that it is critical that you have support one way or another and that you take serious action to prevent the cycle from repeating.

[Author]

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