- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 15 years, 5 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
-
Oh Lord, what have I done? Last night I gambled like a crazy woman, donating my entire paycheck and my tax refund to the casino. I feel so immensly sick and am beyond disgusted with myself. I work so hard for a paycheck. What was I thinking? Now I have to juggle and worry about my bills and rob Pete to pay Paul.
Today I have spent the majority of my day in bed with the head pulled over my covers. If I thought that my suicide would not have a profound effect on my son and my husband and sister I would probably end my life. But I don’t want to leave a legacy of pain behind for those I love and care about.
I am 45 yrs. old and I live in the biggest little city of the world, Reno Nevada, a gambling mecca built upon losses of poor souls just like me. I know better. Yes, I really do. But I just can’t seem to stop going back to the pain and misery that has plagued my life since I was 28 yrs. old. The pain of compulsive gambling.
To make matters so much worse I have passed this addiction on to my son and he is also hurting himself just like I do.
I don’t know where to go or what to do. But I know that change must begin and it can only start with me. There are so many past losses and still so much to lose.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and starting today I am quitting this evil addiction. God willing I will remain strong. The feelings I have today I don’t ever want to feel again….Ever.I’m hoping to get some support from this group and be amongst people that understand the disease that cripples me. Yes there are two paths you can go on, but there is still time to change the road your on.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.