[Khurram_93]

Please do excuse my writing , I am dyslexic and my typing maybe hard to read at times.
• read on to the end of this paragraph and tell me is the same for you ?
As you may see from the title , what do you do when you have had a few days of blissful winnings. But then you want to bet again, all you want to do is thinking about betting. You are a 3rd year student with your dissertation creeping up behind you, and the casino on the door step of your university. The devil standing across the road, waving at you? Come over to the dark side. Come on to the table. I have 36 chances for you, to drag you down the firey pits of hell, and if so you manage to avoid this dark mist I have set forth on you, I will catch you and drag you down with me. On the ‘’3’’ , on that “0” on these red devilish numbers, you so love and at the same loath? The devil says “ you notice that ball rolling, that’s me I will catch you”.
•What I feel about gambling and my exprience
I call the wheel “the wheel of death”, at a point in time it catches you then your a gonner ( as in you feel like the worst burden has been placed upon you) god forbid I don’t mean actual death.
At this current point
I feel like I have spiralled downwards, for a few months I didn’t gamble. I started to have money for basic needs again, started to pay my bills on time and was able to help with the house bills. Now I have won, I pull out my phone calculator 3×36 = 108 , 175×36=6300. But I don’t want to gamble , I don’t want to be like the poor souls I see at the casino, old, and it seems like the have been betting for an eternity. I mean no offence as to the ages of these men, I like to talk to people and if so they talk. I ask them how long they have been betting and many say since they could fully hold a chip in their hands.
Now I wish I had not won, as I can see me just losing a lot more money in the near future. I don’t want to gamble, I hate it, i loath the adorphine that fills my Brain. I spent two hours just looking at the wheel, contemplating what numbers would land. I only did this because the Money I have won in the past few days, I have ether lended it to someone so I can get it back after a bit , or just given it for the sake of me not betting again. I’m due to go holiday to a country we’re gambling is illegal or not allowed, it will be for 3 weeks.
I just want to swim back to the top of the pool and walk or climb out this pool and not swim here again, till I feel safe enough to dip my toes in and not feel like I’m drowning.
Please feel free to post anything in response to this post, I just want a way out.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to GT.

I am one of those old men you see in the casino. At least I was until last year.

To me it’s quite obvious what your first step should be. Go to that casino, without taking any cash or cards, and ask them to exclude you.

If you’re in UK and it’s one of the big nationwide ones (grosvener or Stanley) they will give you a life time exclusion if you tell them you are a cg. (Compulsive gambler).

Of course doing that won’t stop you gambling, but it will make it a bit harder. You say you’ve been watching the wheel for hours, was that on tv? If so try not to.

Do you consider yourself a CG.? Has your life becme unmanageable because of gambling?

You need to remain focussed on your education, as you know gambling can consume all your thoughts and headspace. You really are gambling with your future.

Can you talk about this to a family member, or someone you trust? If so ask them to look after your money til you go on holiday.

I wish you well, take care.

[Khurram_93]

Well since this reply I have excluded all my online accounts.
I am yet to take the step of excluding my self from the casino, it was in the casino where I stood there for hours, so I really need to.
It’s true , I don’t want to gamble my future away that’s why I didn’t go to this place for 3 years of my education. I had bad breakup and it’s took me down this road.

I tell my brothers but all they say is try not to go that’s why I came on this.

[Anonymous]

Excluding yourself from online is great, apparently sometime in December there will be an all inclusive facility to get excluded from all online gambling in and from UK. You might also consider some gambling blocking software, I would advise you get somebody else to set the password and make sure you don’t accidentally save it in your settings.

I do know how luring the casino can be and cant emphasise strongly enough how important it is to exclude.

If its a bad break up that has sent you down this road, have you asked yourself why other people with bad break ups don’t end up there too?

If you’re still holding onto anything emotional concerning the bad break up or even the relationship, I would suggest you get it out of your system. Easier said than done but the best way to get things out of your system is by talking about them, not necessarily counselling but being honest and earnest about how you’re feeling.

I do know a lot of men find it difficult to talk about emotions, for me it was very hard, and I had to learn, it has helped me no end. I’m not a wimpy bloke mate, in fact somebody has just called me a hardened criminal! I’m not one of those either but I’m afraid I’ve committed many crimes over the years to fund my gambling, (pathetic I know), and it has taken me to prison more than once, and also to rehab.

It’s not easy but a trait amongst some CG’s is holding on to resentment.

Gambling, like any other addiction, creeps up on you. I didn’t get out before it was too late, you still have that chance. I’m not saying you would end up like me, but I never for one minute thought I’d end up like me.

The way to progress through life isn’t by gambling, get your dissertation mate. Make something of your life.

You show great tenacity by writing this post.

Why not nip over the road now and exclude yourself, is there anything stopping you? It could change your life, even save it. Could you ask any of your brothers or mates to come with you?

The sooner the better mate.

There’s a support group/chatroom opening at 10pm and another at 12 try and pop in if you can.

I’m hoping to go in too but will be at least half hour as I have a few things to do myself first.

It would make my day if you went and excluded now mate

[Khurram_93]

Well first and foremost I have excluded my self from the casino, in the morning just before I started university. The manager came out asked what’s the reason ,and I just said I don’t want to come back and got a exclusion, albeit I got a six month one. I hope by that time I have a lot more will power not to go back ,and I know that i have that option but not choose to take it as that’s how I gave up smoking and class b drugs in my younger days. At this point at in my life i can sit with people smoking drugs and not even touch the substance let alone smoke it.

Your post encouraged me to take the next step, just I was dreading the letter they send home I don’t want my parents to open it as gambling is frowned upon in our family or culture.

The break up has been a hard one for me as the girl just can’t make her mind up if she wants to be in my life or not and she’s a route to this landslide I have fell down, but also my own volition not all hers. That’s why I started heavy gambling again, I just about nearly blew all my holiday money and then won it all back from one number and then some more. When I wrote this post I was scared of gambling it all alway but now I’m excluded and I thank you.

[Anonymous]

I’m pleased for you that you have excluded, problem gambling never gets any better. That’s a fact not an opinion.

Maybe in the six months that you’re excluded you will look more into gambling addiction and decide that you don’t want to ever return to it and get a permanent ban.

Many a good life has been ruined because of it, I’m happy you’ve excluded. I got a life time ban because I wrote them a letter and said to them I was a compulsive gambler, and the money I was gambling in their casinos was stolen.

That was about 15 years ago, at different stages in those 15 years I have tried to gain entry to their casinos in different cities in the UK, but never was allowed in. On each occasion I was seething at the time, but really relieved the following day.

Good look with your studies and your future.

It would be good to hear from you in the coming years to see how your life progresses. What career are you pursuing?

[charles]

Hi Khurram,

Well done on the steps and exclusions that you have already taken.

Now look at how you are going to fill your time, fill the void that gambling can leave.

Also set a note in your diary for 5 1/2 months time – to revisit the casino and extend that ban if you haven’t done so previously.

Keep posting.

[Khurram_93]

I hope so cause at the moment , I keep thinking about the casino again which is bad.

You are lucky that they let you ban your self, because I’m studying law something that taught me disapline from a rock road. They was actually a case called R v Charles , called the peddie loophole and people before 2000 I think. Where using Garunteed cheques to comit fraud and steal money , they got told that the money they are taking was fraudulent and at the time the casinos didn’t care as long as they got their money from the bank( the casinos were happy).

What about yourself where do you work? It would be good to stay in touch mate. You seem like a top bloke mate.

[Anonymous]

It was nearer 10. I had been out of prison for little over a year, I went to prison for a horrible dishonest crime I don’t want to expand on it here, but I did document it well in previous posts I’ve done.

Currently I’m a lorry driver, I love the job. I have missed and/or ruined too many opportunities in my life to think about.

But anyway about my casino ban. My case had been covered by local and national media. The town I lived in had a casino I had lived in that town a number of years and always held off from joining because my casino gambling had always been my “worst” gambling..the most enticing to me. I’d had a problem with bookies and bandits since I was 15 but it was the casinos that always lead me to the most strife.

Anyway, I was a taxi driver at the time and committed this horrible crime I fraudulently gained nearly £20 000 from it, well I didn’t gain anything except 18 months inside the casinos are the ones who gained.

I was realised from prison on a tag, but was allowed to keep my taxi licence, there were conditions my probation officer had to verify I was complying with conditions to the licencing dept every week, and obviously there was the curfew because of the tag. Once I came of the tag I started going to the casino…my gambling went off the rails.

One Sunday night after losing a lot of money I wrote the letters and told them it was me they might of read about in the papers I said I will have this problem all my life and I think that maybe they were concerned that if they didn’t bar me for life as I requested I would mention this should I ever go back to court.

Thankfully I’ve never been back to court, if they hadn’t of banned me chances are I probably would have.

The casino still has an attraction to you by the sounds of it, which wont just disappear. You will have to work on this, but don’t let it consume your thoughts.

If you end up working in criminal law you will have a better insight into addiction than a lot of lawyers and that may help you and your clients. I don’t think having any addiction excuses any of our behaviours, but does explain them.

I got to go mate, wish I had more time to spend posting tonight, but I work nights and have to go to work shortly.

Thanks for getting back to me, I’ll post a link in a reply to this post in a min…you mightn’t think I’m such a top bloke after you’ve read it.

Cheers.

[Anonymous]

https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en/horror-story-will-your-gambling-take-you-far-down

I am a reformed character today mate, but the crime I went to prison for, that I refer to above, makes the one I described in the link look like shoplifting. I’m sorry to admit that, but I cant pretend these things didn’t happen.

They did happen to me, I wont ever let myself be sucked back into that world. Not today. I live honestly these days its the only way forward for me. I havn’t gambled this year but I only ever strive to get through each day one at a time. Tomorrow soon becomes today.

Its always just today I need to get through.

[Khurram_93]

Wow buddy that’s a lot of stuff to get off your chest, thanks for sharing. After reading the link you just shared, I’m thank you for your input into my post.
Moreover i am not one to judge, its for the prosecution to prove the defends guilt and for the judge to pass the sentence. For the accused to serve his sentence and hopefully rehabilitate. Once my friend told how do you truely know your self if you have tired many aspects of life, I don’t say what you did was right in the eyes of the law it’s dishonest and a crime.
But atleast you have found yourself after all this, it took time and effort as you say. But today you have a job and I’m sure you feel much better then I do at times, which is a plus side to your whole experience.
Ps the casinos are just so gready that they would let fraud take place in the casino, but some could say they were a reason for someone the reform in the criminal law acts over the years.

I’m not one to judge honestly, human makes mistakes. Our destiny’s are in our hands, I have a belief the heart is not made to withstand sin as it causes it pain. I’m happy for you buddy that you have found closure.
Today I have time to concentrate on university and I wrote a good piece of work cause I wasn’t in the casino or bookies which I haven’t banned my self from the bookies I just see them as a time waste after being In the casino.

[finding_laura]

Hi Khurram, well done on banning! How are you finding the urges to go to the casino the past few days? Every time you get an urge just remind yourself you can’t go. You are banned. Can lawyer get disbarred for committing a crime? Can they arrest you if you get caught trying to go into a casino where your are banned? All things to think about.
Try and boost your endorphins and feel good chemicals by doing physical activities. Even walking out in the fresh air and sun light. Meditate. Anything you can thing of to help you get through the moods. Things will level out with time. Keep reminding yourself if you are having a bad day. Take care, Laura

[Khurram_93]

It’s at a hard stage just now as the exclusion is fairly new, but I guess I need to solider on. That’s a main reason I took this step cause I didn’t want it to effect my education.

What activities would you suggest? Thanks so much for the reply laura.

[i-did-it]

Khurram , it was nice speaking to you in group last night and I am so glad you have decided to start a thread on here .
Things to remember is everyone can stop gambling – every one of us !

[Khurram_93]

It’s true we are all fighting different devils , all on different levels.

[finding_laura]

It is very hard in the beginning. Because it feels like our brain is stuck on a loop. Get money, get to establishment as fast as possible, gamble. In the beginning any frustration of this loop can cause urges or really cravings. Your brain is craving for that excitement or that stimulation and it only remembers one easy quick way of getting it!

But working on filling your gambling time with things that promote natural release of feel good chemicals, like jogging, walking, deep breathing, nature, playing sports, biking, meditation, yoga, tai chi, or any such thing will help.
Slowly over time you will start filling your time with healthy things like study and spending time with friends and family, promoting relationships that are the true meaning of life.

If you find yourself day dreaming about playing shake your head and change the mental picture! Do not dwell on it or play online for fun (no money). This will just keep the urges alive and we rather strangle and stamp them out!

You are making a very wise choice to deal with this now. It is a progressive condition and will just keep getting worse. Because it is a high functioning addiction (not likely to show like an alcohol or drug addiction) in the beginning, a lot of gamblers don’t admit to their problem until they have lost everything many many times and hit a financial brick wall. This could take years or decades!

So although you didn’t chose to have a gambling addiction you can chose recovery! Well done!

Laura

[Khurram_93]

Laura this was so help plus this post, even so at the time my younger brother is between an rg to pg because he bets for no reason and when he loses he mets to get his money back. So what I’m going to do is refer him to this side. Sorry I went off topic , your posts and everyone’s feed backs are helping me so much right now. I can’t wait till I have took all this exprience in and just give more back to this community I have joined, at the moment it’s all new for me and I hope I dont end up back in the devils pit

[Author]

Posts