[Viper]

Thank you to all in chat tonight, you really helped me, probably a lot more than you know. I will find the time in the coming weeks to write a journal.

[velvet]

<

Hello Viper and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[p]

Was nice to see you in chat but it was only a little while i popped in for but just wanted to say nice to meet you, welcome, hang in there and keep posting and reading and chatting, keep returning

P

[vera]

Hope this day will be better than yesterday, Viper!

[Viper]

Thought I would make a start, but where? how?
I am a fifty year old male, currently living and working in Belgium and I have an uncontrollable gambling addiction. This has lost me my fiancee as she has had enough, she has moved away and doesn’t want anything to do with me – she had a gambler as her previous partner and has run to the hills. I had hoped she would understand, which is one of the reasons I told her. I have no money and my credit cards are maxed out.
My father – who was my main support – died and I came back to the UK to arrange the funeral and sort things out.

The funeral was Friday and was an awful affair, just me, the vicar and his wife. I just couldn’t come into chat last night I was in no fit state.
Today I have written a few new lists as suggested by Charles, I have labelled them each day of the week and will try to work through them fully each day.
I’m fifty yet now feel a little lost lad, I have no family, friends are few and far between, and I am lost. Right now I cannot gamble as I am using my works laptop that I brought over with me, they have a tracking system on it that shows where you go, so I dare not let work find out that I gamble.

I feel like my life is on hold while I am over here, I have too much to sort out to even begin to think about where to start with my finances and stopping my gambling. I know I will be going back to Belgium next weekend I think, if everything is done over here.
I just want to run away, take no cards with me, leave the debt behind and somehow survive from doing maybe odd jobs or bar work so I don’t have any real money worries.
Would that be so bad a thing to do? Running from my debt, would it save my destruction from gambling, I don’t know.
That was hard, I will try and return to chat this week.

[Anonymous]

Hi Viper . I am so sorry to hear of your dad’s death. Losing a parent is truly horrible , and I understand how alone it makes u feel.

Your post is very honest . Well done on starting a thread, recognising you have a problem and seeking support .

Should you run away from your debt . Why not? However you will not be able to run away from your addiction.

Stopping gambling gives us a much happier perspective on life . Debt can be managed . I struggle with stopping myself but I know barriers are important .. You know gambling blocks , not too much available cash etc
I guess I am better at giving advice than following it.

The thing is you know You can stop because you have enough control not to gamble on a work computer.
Back to running away. Once piece of very goo advice I was given is to never make a big decision while you are in grief . Your view Of the world is clouded . So perhaps you could keep running away as an option while working on your debts and your gambling

Welcome to GT !!

[Viper]

Back in Belgium, so overwhelmed, and now lost my job. Will sell what belongings I have, pack a back pack and disappear. Will travel/work where I can, but leaving everything behind me, debts included. Can’t live with what I have done, so a disappearing act for me.
Thanks for your support everyone.

[charles]

Hi Viper,

Maybe now would be a time to come back to the UK where you have more support from what you said?

You can make your own decisions about relocating but of course we can never relocate away from our addiction – it comes with us. So where ever you end up geographically make sure you keep using the support you have avaialable.

[Viper]

Sadly I have no support in the UK, it appears that I have none in real life. I have been in the chat room a few times and received some good advice.
I did just do a runner in the end, I couldn’t face my debts, I know I have only deferred them for now and will eventually have to face up to them.
I am currently living in a tent and working cash in hand, so with no money and no cards I cannot gamble, so at least I am not making my situation worse.
It really was not a good plan, it is lonely and isolating and I miss my fiancee dreadfully, I messed her about with my gambling, the depression it caused and how it made be behave. I would do anything to turn back the clock and have sought help and at least made a start on recovery before I told her. We found each other late in life and now due to me have lost each other.
Wallowing in self pity right now, I will try and make the chat later on.

[p]

Hang in there, it was nice chatting to you. I think we all regret what we did, what we lost. In time as you re build life without gambling others will see your progress and you will feel the change. I can’t change my past but I can change today, giving myself the best chance by not gambling today. Hang around here, keep journaling and chatting, the days will pass, things will improve, there’s challenges, but whatever challenges there are they are easier to face without destroying ourselves more with gambling

P

[charles]

Hi Viper.

You do seem to have isolated yourself right now but how about checking out the other support available in the UK? Gamcare, counselling, Gamblers Anonymous, Residential Support?

If you connect to the helpline here which is open during UK office hours you can discuss the support that is available to you.

No, none of us can turn back the clock but we can move forward and rebuild things in recovery.

Hopefully I will meet you in one of the groups here soon.

[Author]

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