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Hi,
I already posted in the “overcoming problems” section. All my story is there.
As for the moment, I am unfortunately struggling with the decision to stop gambling. I have to admit that I am a gambler. When I got nervous, even on a winning streak in poker, I blew all my winnings on horse races (100 euros a bet!), sports betting, etc. In normal mood, I never gamble one penny if I know I am an underdog. I had lots of winning streaks in poker (2500 euros winnings in 5 hours, 1500, 800, etc), but I blew them all, in poker, or other games.
Anyway, I am now passing a very important period in my life. In 2 years, I have a competitive score that decides for the rest of my life.Honestly, I feel I could loose some more time gambling. I don’t think I will bet that big again, but time is important.
Hopefully will come back in 2 years and say “I never lost time gambling these 2 years”.
I will pray for this intention. I have a very strong belief in God. 100% sure that God exists, and that Catholic Faith dogmas are true. I have already passed in very serious troubles before and overcame problems. I already started smoking, but never continued. etc. I believe I will solve this problem.
So basically optimistic.
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Hi again kimura,
Well done on starting a journal.
Did you take a look at those 20 Questions?
The reason I ask is you say “…..I have to admit that I am a gambler…..” the question is do you admit you are a COMPULSIVE Gambler? There is a big difference between the two.
My brother is a gambler, he has probably gambled most weeks for the last 40 years. he would, honestly, anser no to all of those 20 questions – he doesn’t have a problem. I on the other hand answered yes to most of them. When I gambled no win was big enough and I chased losses – I am a Compulsive Gambler.
Once we cross the line into compulsive gambling I’m afraid there seems to be no going back to being a normal, controlled gamble.
It matters little how good, lucky or skilled we are at certain forms of gambling, be that poker, sports betting or whatever really. Because no matter how skilled we are the addiction wil take over in the end; there will be one of the many reasons you have given, and more, why we lose control and discipline etc
My own personal opinion would be that if were were the sort of people who could show that control then we wouldn’t have a problem in the first place, nor would we feel the need to come to a site like this. After all I doubt many people come here, or to places like GA etc, as their first option. We all try to “control” things first ourselves.
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Hi Kimura,
Well done on making that decision. It’s not easy though, you will be more likely to get to that 2 year stage if you continue to use support in the mean time. After all if we could do it on our own then I doubt we would have the problem in the first place.
It’s important to take things one day at a time but looking forward why would it be a different story after you achieve your qualification? If gambling would stop you achieving what you want to achieve then isn’t the rest of your life and future achievements worth the same?
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Maybe think about seeing the therapist before those actions. I can’t see much to be gained from testing in this way but I can see a lot to be risked.
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I feel like I was where you are many times, always believe that I could just walk in and do no gambling or gamble just a little, and there were times when I did just that! But, it never is that easy. If you gamble just a little bit one day and feel you have control, then the next time you do a little more and a little more, until maybe you do what I did- binge and not care and go crazy and waste huge amounts and time ect!! It’s only a good idea to try to stop completely and for good… I read so much about people who have actually taken their own life because of the vicious cycle of gambling. It all can seem so innocent and fun until it just isn’t- then it’s an addiction and at that point becomes to much to overcome just by will alone! I hope you will consider just reading into the effects of gambling more first and see where it can ultimately lead and perhaps not go back at all.. Please take care, playing around with how things will go by actually saying you are going to the casino, can be just the thing NOT to do! Not because I am telling you what to do, only because it has caused me so much hurt and looses by trying just what you are thinking
.. Be careful please.. -
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Hi Kimura, good to see a post again.
How have you been since your previous posts? Did you get to see a therapist like you mentioned?
Still think your problem is “a little bit different”? Or maybe now is the time to get some of the things in place that have helped others?
Whatever you do, none of us can do it on our own, keep posting.
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