[jamo]

I started gambling about 7 years ago and within 3 years I lost everything I owned, house, car and my relationship. I hit rock bottom and was with just enough money to buy a train ticket to Gordon House. I spent 7 months there and learnt a lot about the addiction, myself and the tools I needed when I left. I was fortunate to still be employed and 3 years on, I’m living as normal a life as you can with this affliction. I was an online gambler and for the first year after leaving rehab I didn’t have the internet or even own a pc at home. Then the over confidence thing kicks in thinking id beat it so I had the internet put in. I can remember that first night thinking ‘Im strong enough, didn’t last long, temptation was too much, that was my first slip. I’m a great believer that abstinence works for me, out of sight and I’m alright! So Ive put on betfilter and haven’t gambled on the internet since.
however, I had another slip yesterday, after going so long without gambling, this time I turned to phone betting and lost everything in my bank account and still have 3 weeks left till pay day. I have savings and cashing in some company shares which Ive managed to keep until now, that hurts. I’ve had a positive day and put things in place not to gamble on the phone again. I now realise that these savings havent helped me either, I kind of justified me gambling yesterday and the few slips i have had because they were a means of something to fall back on..
the trigger came 2 weeks ago after my son set a date for his weddings, and I desperately want to contribute towards it and want him to be proud of me, even though he said himself it didnt matter he understood.
Today is a new start, being open and honest about this is the way forward.

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