[kb121]

I’m half way through day 2 of not gambling….and the reality of what I did is still sinking in. I didn’t ‘come clean’ – my partner checked the bank statements for the first time in a year and found out what I have done. Now that it’s out in the open I’m sick to the pit of my stomach with what I have and am putting my family through. Went today to tell my parents – more embarrassment and more shame but its done now.
I swore to them that I would never gamble again and the way I feel at the moment that seems like an easy thing to promise but what scares me is what happens in a month or a year when things are looking better and I start thinking just a small bet.
My addiction was on slots – started with 50 pound now and then on a machine and within two years it’s hundreds of pounds on line…. Every time I lost the rational side of me said it was crazy and I swore that was it – two days later the ‘Hyde’ in me takes over and I’m back playing.
What I’m hoping is that by documenting how bad I feel now (and I’m not sure I could feel worse) if nothing else in days / weeks / years to come it will remiond me of how bad I felt and that I can never do this again. I put my families future in jeopardy and whilst I can deal with the lost money I’m not sure I can deal with losing them as well.
Congratulations to everybody who has either just started or kicked this habit for a long time….

[velvet]

Hello Kb and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Ryan123678]

I lost mine on slots aswell and felt sick and couldn’t sleep for a while. I felt s bit better once I told family but couldn’t stop thinking of what I could have done with the money iblosy. It has got easier to deal with as time has passed but like you said I’m hoping it doesn’t take over again it was like I was not myself when playing slots. Hope you can give it up good luck and keep the thread updated with your progress.

[Emma8]

I know exactly how you feel, with the fear of falling off track in the future.

The best thing you can do for the moment is self exclude from absolutely everything and begin to look at why you gamble. What triggers you? Why do you choose to gamble? What could you do instead?

As you say, looking back on this journal in the moments where you think “oh, a small bet won’t hurt” will help so much in getting over that urge to gamble.

Document your journey here every day and make sure to detail the negative feelings. It’s so easy to forget this headspace when things are going well, I know that so well now!

Wishing you all the best in your journey. We’re all here to support each other!

[Steev]

Looking at why you choose to gamble and what triggers you, as Emma says, is a key factor in being able to block out “Mr Hyde.”

One thing you can consider (I assume you are in the UK) is the offer by Gamcare for counselling. This will help you to look at these issues in a supportive space. https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/our-treatment-offer/?cn-reloaded=1

You may also want your partner to look at the “families and friends” section of this forum with a view to what support to give you. As you rightly say, your gambling doesn’t only affect you but the whole family. I wish you well.

[Author]

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