[Coaster76]

Hi there

I’m back after a brief spell on this sit a few months ago . Of course the cycle of win, lose and lose more has continued. All my adult life I have suffered with low moods, I drink more than I should which is another issue but at the most overpowering problem is gambling . My personality is addictive, all or nothing , I drink or not at all , input my heart and soul into things then lose interest , with gambling tho it’s the one thing that’s got me. I currently sit 5 days without betting but my god I’d love to walk in a bookies right now and bet.
I have never gambled the numbers that would jeopardise my home etc but there shear time and how it dictates my life hammers home my problem. My wife took me away for my 40tb recently , it was wonderful , yet on the sly I’m checking aus vs sa cricket on the phone as if bet on it, wtf??? That’s just one example but it’s taken me over , I feel lost and so bored when not betting. I’ve tried walking , keeping mentally active etc all the things I should do but I just crave that bet, checking the basketball , cricket , NFL whatever ? I’ve through limit my time , amount and be in control but once I’m off I’m off and my phone is constantly in my hand .
I put gambling down to a lot of my depression , alcohol doesn’t help but I can go without alcohol far easier and longer , I feel fat more in control of that than gambling, gambling is easier to hide as well . I have a brilliant wife , best ever, I’ve touched on it but never opened up 100 per cent , funny watching I’m a celeb the other night she asked me to see who’s fav to win not knowing how much I didn’t wanna check skybet? I did but got straight off.
I think I’m cursed and would love to bet like boys at work , doing their weekend accas but I can’t , it’s my psyche, I win and then I want to bet again . I know it’s the thrill and buzz I love , I call it a numbers game as to me it’s never real money , it’s money I’ve lost even when I’m winning as it always end up bank in bookies pockets . I do want to give up once and for all, no more one small bet and control as I can’t do it, I want my weekends back , I have 3 gorgeous kids and instead of checking results give them my full attention and my mood not being affected by some basket ball game in Europe .
Well it’s Friday afternoon, weekend coming and it’s gonna be hard, going xmas shopping tomorrow so that will fill my day up, can’t go every sat tho and that’s what worries me, it’s always there lurking in background.

Cheers Jim

[i-did-it]

I have been where u were . I felt cursed . Ordinary things made me want to gamble . I played on line slots and there were so many types -everything in life reminded me of a different machine – like a beautiful sunset reminded me of the one u needed two Suns to get the bonus- fruit pastiles reminded me a a colourful fruity sweet one .
I did feel cursed and I cannot say whether this was coincidental but my life changed dramatically after a member of the clergy prayed with me and blessed me .
I didn’t realise until a week or two later .

Cold turkey is what it took me. I still have thoughts now and again but I can handle them.

Keep strong – try forcing yourself to do other things . U will get there and u will think less about gambling .

[charles]

Hi Coaster and welcome back.

I checked out your previous thread, here is a link to it if you wanted to remind yourself of some of the advice you got a couple of months ago.

https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/comment/32262#comment-32262

Which of the suggestions you got back then can you implement? Which of the thigns you will be reading on other threads can you apply to your own situation?

Keep posting.

[Author]

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