[Sharynh]

Hi there, I have just joined. I did have 1 years abstinence but relapsed 5 weeks ago. I did something terrible in October 2015 that I have not told anyone. When I got married in 2008, my aunt from another country gave me a family heirloom to pass down. It is an expensive piece of jrwjewell. I was running our business for a few days in October 2015 and had a really bad relapse. So I pawned the family heirloom. Anyway, my father is my aunt’s brother and my father is now pretty near the end of his life so my aunt wants to come over here to new Zealand to see him. I am terribly afraid she wants to see the family heirloom. I don’t really have anything to do with her and haven’t seen her since 2008. 

[velvet]

Hello Sharynhand thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hi Sharynh

It seems to me that you are unnecessarily punishing yourself for an action in 2015 when you were actively gambling but gambling now will not change that.

I am not a gambler but I lost irreplaceable things to the addiction of someone I love, however, his gamble-free life is far more precious than anything I lost. If it was possible for your aunt to understand you and your addiction I would like to think that she would feel this way to but I concede that she possibly would not.

Your aunt is coming to see her brother at a terrible time and hopefully will not be thinking of a piece of jewellery but whether she wants to see it or not, consider this – what purpose do you think that you starting to gamble again will serve apart from causing you pain and misery?

I don’t have a crystal ball so I cannot know what the outcome of your aunt’s visit will be but I do know that you and your life are important. Put yourself first, control your gambling today, you have already proved to yourself that you can do it. Use this site, its forum and its groups to support you through this time, contact our Helpline if you want to communicate one-to-one. You are understood here and there is no judgement.

Velvet

[Monica1]

Firstly I am sorry to hear about you father. This is a difficult time for you and I think you need to look after and be kind to yourself. You have had one year of abstinence which is a great achievement. Well done for that. One of the first things I learned was that absolutely nothing,is,worth gambling again, no matter how we feel. Easier said than done I know, but is it possible you can get some help from a gambling addiction counsellor? I think you may well need some additional support at this point. I make the assumption that the heirloom is of very high value and now gone forever, and that you cannot get it back?
Velvet is right in that this won’t be uppermost in your aunts mind but it could arise, this is a very difficult situation to be in which is why I suggest you get support. If it does arise, I do suggest you don’t lie but seek out all avenues to get it back if possible. If not possible, you will have to confront the situation. If me, I would pray for help and support. I would tackle the addiction for good and eradicate it from my life. How did you have access to money and gambling? Do you not have self exclusions and barriers up? If not, ban yourself from where you play. Is there anyone in the family who knows about your gambling that you can confide in? Above all, you must get help and support to stop. I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers. Keep posting, we have a good online chat support group here that people who want to stop and stay stopped from gambling can tune into.

[finding_laura]

Relapsing after a long abstinence is heart breaking. The fact that your father is ill may have placed a lot of pressure on your recovery. Have you been attending GA meetings and or attending counseling? What were you doing to support your recovery and yourself during that time. Don’t give up. You can do it again. That is the important thing. The heirloom can’t be returned but you didn’t murder anyone. It was an unfortunate effect of the addiction. I hope we hear from you. Laura

[kathryn]

Bringing you back to the top……
How are you holding up?
We are all here for you, please remember you are not alone.
Love K xxx

[Author]

Posts