[johnc1955]

I find myself in familiar territory. Exactly one year ago, I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills trying to escape the pain I caused myself and those that love me. I was broke again from gambling and to make matters worse I tried to escape from the gambling addiction into internet porn. I thought I had hit bottom.
After a few months I started playing poker again, once a week for a night out. within a few weeks I was back to 3 and 4 nights a week, once again going broke. My wife, after threatening to leave, found this site and sent me the link. Thanks to Harry who introduced me to the site and chatted with me. So here I am, another story of a life out of control, needing help to move on.
Gambling has cost me more than money. It has been the single most destructive force in my relationship with my wife. I used to enjoy woodworking, playing the piano, volunteering at the seniors home and spending time with my family. All I think about now is how to get to a poker game and justify the money spent and time away. Gambling reinforces all the negative thoughts I have about myself. It makes me feel weak, guilty, ashamed and unworthy of love. And yet – back I go to try for that temporary high that comes with (sometimes) gambling.
With the support of my wife, I am resolving to get my life back on track.
This is day 5 without gambling..Thanks for allowing me to share.
 This is the day that the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

[Author]

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