[Brian41]

Hello,

I’m new to this site and thought I would give this a try as all other efforts to quit gambling have been largely unsuccessful. I’ve tried repeatedly, and am still attending GA meetings, counseling, and an outpatient recovery program that meets weekly, but I still get the urge to bet on sports and still give in to them, the only bright spot is that the bets are now small. I’m losing 50.00 at a time instead of hundreds or thousands per day. My wife is helping me to be accountable by analyzing my spending which prevents the large bets, but I still hopelessly find ways of continuing to gamble with smaller amounts (50 is the minimum deposit) which seem to go under the radar.

I have a good job and have managed to keep it through this relentless addiction, despite placing bets at work and then feverishly following the outcome of the games in hopes of satisfying my indulgence with a WIN, only to lose the next bet and eventually watch the account plunder to 0 once again. If a deposit lasts 2 or 3 days it is surely lost by day 4, but typically lost the same day.

Because my debt is so large, I had to pickup a second job and am working about 75-80 hours per week which does not leave much time for anything else, but I still seem to find time to make bets, either at work, or even while driving or at red lights and then once the bets are in, I am controlled by the action of the game, following the score as if it is the most important thing in my world.

I think writing this is actually theraputic as I reread it for accuracy, realizing how senseless it is, but the urges are so strong and just seem to take over when they come. There are always sports on and its not like I am disciplined enough to wait for a particular game, the addiction is so strong that I will bet on any sport that is available on the site, including teams that I know absolutely nothing about. It feels like pure insanity and I desperately want this gambling addiction out of my life and behind me for good.

Please help, I’m very open to positive feedback and serious comments about how to overcome this horrible disease.

[i-did-it]

HI Brian- reading your post I’m not sure if you want to stop gambling or continue to place small bets.
Unfortunately when we cross the line from recreational gambler to it becoming a compulsion we need to stop completely . It gives our minds a chance to settle and the obsession with gambling will lessen.

Your wife knows anyway so to be honest the best thing you could do is tell her about the small bets .

Get a gambling blocker for your phone like gamblock and decide right now that you are stopping completely.

Your success will motivate you- it is the best feeling in the world when you begin to feel normal- when you can have conversations with your wife that are not masked by your hidden compulsion.
Decide your bet free life starts today nov 1st and then prepare for battle with this horrible addiction.

It doesn’t matter if you have already bet today – you can Rem first nov was ur last bet .
Sort the phone out . It’s too easy when the urges come . Get a brick if u need to – I had one for months and I survived .

Keep posting your progress here – hour by hot if u need to .

You will beat it a u just have to commit fully and that means getting rid of those slightly ajar doors we all leave when we are fighting addiction .

[lizbeth4]

Hi Brian41, Welcome! I have gambled a handful of times in the last 5 years and losing small amounts. A big improvement over gambling daily for many years and spending huge amounts and accumulating debt. I am still working on being totally gamble free. With that said, I have tried many things to stop gambling as you have. I think with this addiction like others, we just have to get back up and keep trying and trying. This site has been very insightful and the support here is amazing. Keep journaling your thoughts as it does help to go back and re-read. Stay strong.

[velvet]

Hello Brian and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Brendan_UT]

Hey Brian,
Hope you stay active on here.

-Brendan

[Brian41]

Thank you for your reply. In my conscience state or sober mind, much like an alcoholic who is sober first thing in the morning, I want to stop gambling. I realize that even small bets keep fueling the addiction and typically lead to larger bets trying to win back losses that continue to add up. There are many things that lead me to gambling during the course of the day that I am not even sure that I can identify all of them. Sometimes, it is boredom, many times, it is hearing talk of a big game, such as the world series game or home football game. Other times, I am triggered by other people talking about placing bets and then if I get upset at home, I know this sounds terrible, but I tend to justify that as a reason to go “do what I want” which I really don’t want to do, its like giving in to the inner demons. I wish it were as easy as removing triggers which I’ve read about, but the triggers are everywhere and even in my mind. Gambling has become a part of me. I can say that I haven’t placed a bet today and when I’ve thought about it, I’ve been reading posts on this site and researching the topic of problem gambling and trying to learn as much as I can.

[i-did-it]

Hi Brian, just to clarify- I wasn’t talking About removing triggers – that would be impossible as you rightly explained . I was talking about removing access to gambling. Think MAT- money access time . If u remove your access to money for example then regardless of the triggers it will be impossible to gamble because you won’t have money . Is this difficult? -yes hellishly so- is it worth it ?- amazingly so.
Brian- I hated when my husband handed me money like a child getting Pocket money. In fact my child got more.
However I am enjoying a lovely life right now fairly free from the urges of this horrible compulsion. I am aware and keep up with accountability -but my money is spent on me and my family now – not gambling .
I struggled with this for years and always left a door open just in case -that was my downfall. When all doors are closed (barriers set high) it is next to impossible to gamble .

Brian I hope this helps and well done on not gambling today!

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