[thereisnoeasymoney]

My apologies if this is the wrong forum to start in. This is my first time seeking help for my addiction to slot machines. I need to kick this gambling problem before it gets me into real trouble. Every bar and restaurant near me has slot machines and there are “gambling parlors” on every street corner. I get sucked in way too easily, because the machines are everywhere. Even if I don’t go into the place, I can’t avoid seeing the giant signs outside that say “Play slots here! Win big!” I used to just play $5- $10…now, I feed $20’s into the machines. I always say, “I will stop after $20,” or “I won’the go to the ATM and take out more money.” But I don’the stop, and I DO take more money out. The most I have ever spent at once is $80…but considering I don’t make a ton of money, that is way too much to just throw away. I keep playing because I get it in my head that some people win big jackpots, and occasionally I will hit $100 or $200. More often than not, though, I lose. I need to stop but sometimes I can’t get over the urge. I even dream about playing the machines and winning a good jackpot. After those dreams, when I wake up, I feel the urge to go play.

I am fortunate and blessed to have a fiancé who loves me unconditionally, and does not make me feel like a bad person when I spend too much, and he comforts me when I get down on myself for it…but I need to stop this behavior so he and I can have a better life. I am especially ashamed that I keep spending money I should be putting towards our wedding.

I am hoping talking with others who are battling similar demons will help me to overcome this addiction. My mind knows I am not going to win…but as soon as I see the machines’ lights and bright colors and hear their sounds, I get weak. I need to work on my self control…especially because it is virtually impossible for me to avoid the things…they are literally everywhere in my city.

Thank you for listening.

[velvet]

Hello Thereisnoeasymoney
and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi, well done on looking for help.

Read the other stories here. You will see a lot that you will relate to, you will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

Accountability helps, I am sure that your fiance will be able to help you with that if you ask him.

When you leave the house jsut have the moeny on you for whatver you plan to do. No “just incase” money. that will mean that gambling will have an immediate consequence in messing up your plans, “just in case money” allows us to gamble and not regret it until later.

Gambling may be everywhere these days, support is as well though. Sites like this one, places like Gamblers Anonymous, counselling and more. Use the support, if we could do it on our own then none of us would be here.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps you are taking and how you are going to be filling your gamble free time.

[thereisnoeasymoney]

Thank you for your support. One thing that has helped me tremendously already is some advice I read on another thread. I forget how it was worded, but it said something along the lines of “You will never win if you are a compulsive gambler, because even if you win, it won’t ever be enough.” That really hit me. It’s true. I could win $5, but then I want $20. I could win $20, but I want $50, etc. Honestly, I never thought of it that way. It is the first thing that has made something “click” in my brain and made me snap out of it a little bit. I am on Day 3, and no urges so far.

[Addicted2pain]

Similar situation for me. Partner well now ex partner that knew of my struggles yet dishonesty was what ruined us.

Lieing about how many bets I placed, how many times I bet, How much I spent, How frequently I deposited money, How quickly I spent money, How much I won, you name a gambling lie, I said it and I would have been pretty f**king convincing! I knew I had a problem and I was ashamed and hated myself for it. Much like you I asked myself multiple times Why? What? How?

Why could my friends gamble but not to excess like me? Why can’t I just be honest?
What was wrong with me? What can I do to change?
How can I stop? How can I fill in the gaps?

My vice was Racing. Harness, Gallops, Dogs. If I could bet and know the result within minutes I was going to wager on it.

In the past year I would estimate atleast $10K down the drain. Yes I’ve won up to $1500 in a day.But I’ve also won $400, 600 and800 in a day and gone to bedwith nothing in my account. Gambling addiction is a hell of a spiral.

Recently I was at 6 weeks clean and slipped up. I lied about my slip up and got caught. I owned it and promised to not do it again. I was going well again, 2 weeks down and I slipped again. And lied again. And said I wouldn’t lie again. The trust tho was gone. I ruined it with multiple lies to hide my addiction. It has cost me my relationship and this past weekend I would estimate that I have spent $650-1000 in a 2-3 day span. I haven’t done the maths but believeme when I say you are not alone.

The self hatred we all feel, the disappointment we all feel, we all feel it but to give you hope, although Im at the start of my journey again, tomorrow I will be at my first GA meeting. I tried tonight and sat in the carpark crying. Im not afraid to admit it. Losing my partner has thrown me to the bottom of the pit and now I have to climb out of this alone but I will. Because I need to show my former partner that her love and care that she showed me despite knowing my addictions if worth more than giving up.

Remember on those dark days you still have your partner. He obviously loves you.. Fight this for them and for you.Start one day at a time.Just like I am having to do but make sure you know…You’re not doing it alone. You have the strength of 2 to fight this.

[charles]

Hi Addicted, you and thereisnoeasymoney can both stop gambling I promise you.

Start your own thread though so that you can get your own support. Just scroll down to the bottom of the My Journal forum and click on New Topic.

[Author]

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