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Hello everyone and happy new year

My name is Vasilis and i am 25 years old. I am an online gambler over 5 years now. I have tried many times in the past to stop this addiction but unfortunately i can’t handle it. I read some of your stories at the forum

and all i can say is that i am deeply connected with everyone’s feelings about gambling. So my story begins at my early 20’s where i started playing online slots for fun. Before i realize it i was there playing with real money.

I had some gamble free periods but i remember myself trying to find a way to gamble. The last year I have made some steps in the right direction like blocking many online casinos and even most of the deposit methods.

I opened a new bank account where my mother is checking my amount. (although she does not know about my problem)  and  leant many things about gambling addiction and how it works. After

all of that today unfortunately i gambled again. I found a “small window” to deposit and of course i did not think much and started playing. I lost around 150 euro. Not so much money but i am very sad that although i had promised

myself not to play again i still played. Anyway today i registered here which i think is one more step to prevent me from gambling as well as i installed a software where blocks every online casino that exists. My overall

experience is that gambling is only destroying us inside. I am very emotional and perfectionist in many areas which is a dangerous combination if you understand what i mean. Anyway i hope this new year will be a good boost for

everyone here to cure this addiction. My only advice which helped me very much is some motivational videos at Youtube. I really admire Inky Johnson and his story so maybe this will help someone. Thanks for your time guys,

i am really excited to be here and sharing my story. HAPPY NEW YEAR

[velvet]

Hello Vasilis and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[londonsarang]

I was compulsive gambler but I must stop the gamble and keep going to pass away. I prey for that to god.
Already 3 days gone however I stopped 3 years then failed lose 15000GBP FOR 5days then one year stopped then gameble again for 9000GBP. This year is my last chance , I pray the god , If I play again, I will go to hell by myself. Please stop the gamble. You are too young.

[MurrS7]

It is not worth it . I have ruined relationships with family and friends I have lied I have ruined my brain and my mental health all over gambling since I have been 18 I have gone years without it then binge I am 28 now I figure I have lost well over 200 thousand dollars in a span of 10 years on and off. Please stop you will see it only gets worse I used to be mad when I lost 40-50 dollars when I was 18 fast forward to 28 I was losing upwards of 20 thousand in a couple of hours maxing our credit cards lines of credit. You do not want
To continue I promise this addiction is a bottomless pit there is no bottom just when you think you’ve lost it all you lose more and worstnof all you lose your self divinity your self love and your happiness. It is a disease that I wish upon not even my worst enemies. God bless you please listen to our advice and I
Hope you seek help from professionals and put blocks in place.

[Steev]

Vasilis, can I gently ask why your Mother does not know about your problem? What is stopping you from telling her? Shame, fear of rejection, her anger? I have found that the more people know, the better it is for me. No secrets, no lies, no shame. I am a compulsive gambler and today I have not gambled – have some pride in that. I haven’t gambled for many years, but one of the last bets I had was when sitting in a pub on a wet afternoon, I was bored. I saw the fruit machine and thought “what harm will one or two pounds do?” And I lost that and another 10 … and then I started calculating how I could get more money and would it be okay to leave the machine while I did this, and then it hit me. I wasn’t bored any more. My head was spinning with regrets and plans and strategies – all for just £12 or so. I walked away – for once I had learnt from my gambling. Yes it does put “meaning” into my life, but at a heavy cost. Perhaps you have learnt something from your recent bet, enough to keep you gambling free for years. I do hope so.

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Hello londonsarang,

I know how are you feeling and i really believe this time, this year it’s possible for us to stop it. You are not here by luck, this is a great opportunity. Everyone that is here understands his/her gambling problem. I think this is a big step and not a baby one as many said. Pray everyday if this helps you. This has to be our priority for 2019. Keep going my friend, never give up!!!

 

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Hello MurrS7,

I am here to learn from everyone here with my eyes and ears wide open. I am grateful that i finally admitted i have a gambling problem which really hurts my self-respect but i think it’s a good step. As you said this is a serious hidden disease and everyone that overcomes this is a powerful person. This is very motivational idea to keep us in the right direction. When you overcome this you will build new realionships it’s never too late my friend. I may be younger but your mental health-peace has no age.

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Hello Steev,

The truth is that i am a very determined and disciplined person.I have a great body, i play football and i am well known at my town, i have even managed to drive a formula 1 car from nowhere ( what a dream for many), i study at university and i have built an image of a really determined and succesful person. That is my biggest fear my friend, because behind this image there is a compulsive gambler who has nearly 0 euro to his account because of this. I am writing this in tears really. So many lies in order to gamble and for your question if i tell the truth all these years of my hard work and these achievements will be instantly vanished. What a fear this is. This is a great step for you, no lies, no secrets what a great achievement, i realy admire you and i think that you are very close to keep away from this disease. I am starting now, i have really taken some important steps to deal with it by my own in order to keep my image, you know what i mean. Do you think i can make it now? What a dream for all of us to be again mentaly healthy. Have a great day thanks so much for your answer and nice to meet you!!!!

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Hello guys, This week was gamble free for me . I feel very good and i am still very determined. I wonder though if this is going to be the case after one or two months where i will have slightly forgot my last gamble and these awful emotions. This is my struggle right now but at the same time i feel reborn in some way the last days.

[Steev]

A week without gambling is a great achievement – well done. I see you are worried that you might forget how bad gambling is and become complacent. That is why I would urge you to open up to someone. If you forget the pain of gambling then they may be there to remind you. It doesn’t need to be everyone you know – just some who will be supportive and trusted.

It is great that you have got so many other things going on in your life. Concentrate on those things and on your recovery and you shouldn’t go far wrong. Keep strong.

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Thank you Steev. Your reply means a lot to me. Yesterday i broke up with my girl that we were together almost 2 years.She asked me that she wants time to think about our relationship. Moreover i am in the army now because at my country it is mandatory to go to the army for 1 year. These two things made me emotional and more vulnerable but i am still holding and fighting everyday. I realize that coming here and reading all these stories help me to concentrate at my target to stop gambling. Keep going guys we all have a fight to win.

[Steev]

Hi Vasilis. So sorry to hear about the breakup of your relationship. This is a time to keep strong as you will be emotional and gambling is what we know when feelings get too much. I remember when my marriage ended, really wanting to go back to gambling, but somewhere in my head a voice was also saying, “you are hurting enough, don’t make it worse by gambling.”. I am so glad I listened to that voice, I don’t think I could cope with all the crap that comes with gambling anymore. Does the army provide counseling in your country? Just a thought. Keep strong and keep posting!

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Yes Steev i have the same thought right now, i want to stay away from gambling because it will make things worse. I have a deep pain inside me. You understand this pain, in fact both pains. I have to deal with gambling addiction and try to stay away from it and in the same time deal with this huge pain of break up. If i add the army and my college man this is too much. I feel that i will colapse sooner or later. So many tears there is a huge pressure inside me and i do not know to do right now. Oufff these days are so difficult every minute. Take care guys, Never give up

[Steev]

So can you use the army as a way of letting your feelings out? I guess there will be a gym, training, a chance to punch, kick, shout and really let go. You may still be in pain but your head should be clearer.

It will be important to find something else you can relax with otherwise the temptation to gamble will prey on you, especially if you make friends who play cards etc.

You are holding up well. Take care of yourself.

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Today i logged in again after 4 months. I had a big need to write what i am feeling now. So after 5 years of online gambling it’s the first time in my life that i have been clear for 4 months in a row. I haven’t played absolutely nothing and i am shocked that i don’t think about it anymore. When i registered here at January 2019 i thought that this would be impossible, but certain situations affected to reach this stage. It was like all bad things came in my life when the new year began. I remember now that 2 January 2019 i had broke up with my girlfriend after 2 years of relationship, lost a big amount in online gambling and eventually lost myself. Today 4 May 2019 i am 4 months clear of online gambling, i have been almost healed from the break up. The reason? Gym guys saved my life. Almost everyday i would hit the gym. My body is better than ever and more important my mind is better than ever. As i said i am shocked from the results. The first month was soo difficult, my God. I was lifting the weights and i was crying….But now i look to the mirror and i say “I made it”. Now though it’s more difficult because i have to stay at this level keep my mind at the right way. Sorry for saying so much things but i needed to write it here. Maybe this helps someone. Never give up, better days are coming!!!

[Steev]

Great to hear such positive news as well.
The important thing now is to stay stopped. Treat your gambling as some would treat an allergy – it is alright for other people to eat seafood – but if I do it could kill me. As it is not worth the risk, I won’t do it – and lets face it I am no worse off – even if I really do miss the taste of prawns!

You will get the urge to gamble again, I know it happens to all of us – but you can push past these urges and they do lessen as time goes on. T

Thanks for posting and have a great gambling free life!

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