[Trish1966]

[Trish1966]

My gambling over the past few years has got out of control, I’m at the start of wanting to stop, the urge to gamble online bingo on pay day is in conflict with wanting to stop, I can’t afford to do this any more, always thinking I can win but reality I lose more than I win, half the time I don’t even realise or can’t seem to have any control to stop adding funds a bit of a time, I can’t even go into a shop and buy scratch cards, spending what I can’t afford and week before pay day kicking myself for being so reckless with my money when i see the cupboards empty and I have no fuel money left, I have told one friend about my gambling problem but even though helpful I’m not sure if she understands the fight I have within myself

[velvet]

Hello Trish and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[finding_laura]

Hi Trish, welcome to the forum. You are definitely not the only one that seems to have problems with money disappearing after just one more bet. Sometimes I would mentally fight with myself as I added a little more money and as I placed each bet. I wasn’t really enjoying it due to knowing I was spending my grocery money or bill money. Unfortunately I kept getting worse and it wasn’t until I had borrowed every possible cent I could that I had the courage to ask someone to help me by taking care of my money for a while. I also started GA meetings and went for gambling addictions counseling. Do you have a partner or sibling that could help you with your money? Is there free counseling services where you are? Can you find a GA meeting near by? Drastic measures can be taken to end this cycle. I hope you continue to let us know how you are doing.
Laura

[Jackdandy]

Hi Trish

Im new here too 

50 year old from oz

4th day gambling free

Pokies are my problem 

Its so bad driving your car with the petrol light on and wondering if you can make it

How is it that we’ll gamble before we buy food

This site is helping me to stay in the moment and not head off to fantasy land

Hope we both make it

[kathryn]

I think its difficult for people who don’t have this compulsion to truly understand the grip it takes.
In saying that, maybe your friend could be of help?
You don’t always need to ‘get it’.
Someone having the reins of your accounts for a while can be a big help. Ensuring you don’t have access to money, a small allowance every day, being accountable to someone (anyone) can give you some breathing space.
Its so hard to break this cycle. Every bit of support can help you do that.
I hope to read more from you, Love K xxx

[kathryn]

I couldnt find a thread for you so thought id post here (sorry Trish)

Have you thought about starting your own thread?  You will get some much needed support.  Im a fellow Aussie, pokies are my poison too.

Im not sure which state you are in, but self exclusion is a great barrier and one that i feel has saved my life (among other things)

If its online theres a few gambling blockers you can get for your pc.

Have you got someone you can confide in?  Someone that could help you, take control of your finances for a bit?  I felt so relieved when i did this as i didnt have the stress, i couldnt access the money and in doing so it gave me some time to work on me.

You can live a gamble free life.  Its not easy, i wont pretend theres a magic cure, its hard work but it can be done.

Have you thought about GA in your area?   Theres great support there too.  Every bit counts Jack.  

I hope to see you around.

Love K xx

[Trish1966]

Hi Laura, thank you for your comments, I have no partner but I am thinking of giving control to someone, I ‘confessed’ my problem gambling to a debt advisor who suggested meetings, I don’t think I’m ready to sit in a roomful of people that I have no self control, I’m constantly fighting the pure shame of not being able to afford to eat at times, I’ feel I’m on the first step by telling someone as that has led to telling a close friend, I’ve read loads of self help tips on here, perhaps that alone might be enough, and people like yourself who kindly show support and understanding goes a long way, thank you 

[Trish1966]

Thank you, I have found that the help on here is really helpful and don’t feel like I can do meetings at the moment, it’s been hard enough to tell one close friend 

I really can’t live my life gambling my money, I have done exactly the same thing wondering if I have enough petrol to get there, although on occasions I haven’t and had to desperately phone a friend and walk to petrol station, vowing there and back that I will never gamble again…few weeks later there I am gambling again but feeling guilt and shame

hopefully we can do it 

best wishes

[Trish1966]

Thank you for your reply

i have told just one close friend and she is there for me so hope this month I can have more self control, advice on here is helpful but end of day I suppose i have got to engage myself, my friend has blocked me from all my online gambling sites apart from one which I think I may ask her to block also, but I go in a bit of a panic attack

maybe I just need to find my triggers why I sit for hours on online gaming but I don’t really enjoy it but there’s something in me, boredom and a release from stress that makes me want to stay playing

just taking one step at a time

trish

[kathryn]

There’s no ‘may’
If you want to stop you have to block them all. It’s just too tempting. Once you have crossed into compulsive gambling there’s no going back.
Remember how you feel right now.
Cut the tie and get rid of that game.
It’s not worth your mental health. If you can’t gamble you will start to think about other things.
Be open to the possibilities. Since I stopped gambling I have done things I never thought I would ever be able to do, life isnt perfect but it’s sooooo much better!
Take care, K xxx

[Trish1966]

Thank you k

you are so right and your words have made me think about all the things I could be doing, friends I could be meeting for coffee etc

I am going to write a list tonight all the things I can occupy my thoughts when my pay hits my account and I convince myself that I can afford it but really I can’t afford it financially or emotionally

i will block that last site as I know what will happen and I know how I will feel afterwards 

thank you 

trish 

[lizbeth4]

You need to take all the steps you can to make it harder to gamble. Blocking, giving control of money to another, GA meetings, counseling. The destruction it causes us is horrid and as time goes on it only gets worse!!! Stay strong and keep going. You have our support here.

[finding_laura]

That sounds like a good plan Trish. It can take a combination of a lot of different things to beat this. When you block yourself from that last site it will be great to have a list of things you want to do instead. We need to fill that free time up or we’ll only obsess about what we think we are missing out on. Which in reality is truly the misery. Just so you know, it can affect your moods when you stop. So be prepared. Don’t give in if you have negative feelings. Instead post or call a friend for a coffee. You can do this. You can have a life with real benefit. Closing that last account before payday sounds like a smart idea. Take care,
Laura

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