[iampaul]

im Paul im 24 and have gambled since the age of about ten. i started on fruit machines and now have added bookie machines, casino, poker, online slots, games and roulette to the list. as i earn more i gamble more makin all the work i do and effort iv put into my job pointless. i havent really got into debt and have all the bills payed normally on time. I just gamble any extra money i have rather than spendin it on myself and havin a better quality of life. i always use to b quite happy with myself and happy with who i was as a person and what i thought i could achive, these days i think im a bit of a ***** or a loser due to my gambling. i want to be happy with myself again but in the last few years i have managed to stop gambling for a month, that time was amazin. if i calm down for a while at some point the bets get bigger and i throw away everything i have access to which has happened again this week.
y do i do it? i could have had so much fun and got some nice things. now i just feel upset, depressed and angry. i have a best friend that gambles as well that doesnt help as he encourages me to go to place to gamble with him. i was only playin fruit machines at the pub for a few quid for a few weeks until he took me to a bookies and over the course of a week i have thrown away all the cash i had access to tryin to win back the money i lost that day spiralling deeper even spendin money that i kind of need for other things. i have no one in my life i trust enough to put this into their hands or that i want to bother them with my mess. i want to turn this around and b able to look back at this time in my life and say it was a phase, an addiction. And i beat it. i can control what i do. i love myself. i am responsible for my actions, its time to b a winner, a winner doesnt risk when they already have what they need

[Author]

Posts