[Vilcsogabi]

Hello guys!

I am new to this forum,just attended my first group session online, and actually felt really good about it, Charles was encouraging me to try My journal , and since this is similar to what i was thinking to do too,here it is, i will try my best to come back and update as often i can!
My story so far:
I am 32 now, gambling is a part of my life since i am 17.
Still cursing the day and the guy who introduced me to it,but hey, can’t change the past,can you?:)
I have had many debts, sleepless nights,hungry days,destroyed relationships,lost jobs during this period due to gambling.
I thought of myself that i am very unlucky, but looking at the bigger picture i am very lucky: always had somewhere to sleep,even i had no money to pay rent,when i had no hope someone was always giving me a helping hand,still have the people in my life who i love,hence they have/had every reason to turn away from me.
Once i had a job,working in a bar as a manager,the owners went on holiday and they left me to run it for two weeks…i ended up gambling away around 4k£ of takings…one of the worst days of my life when i had to confess to what i did.
I was even thinking to jump down from one of the bridges… i am stupid to gamble,but fortunately not that stupid to kill myself.
I had an amazing girlfriend at that time,who i am about to marry soon, who stayed with me when i hit rock bottom…i decided i had to change because this is no life,this is not the life i want.
I found a new job , a place to live,and i managed to stay gamble free for about 14 month.I wasn’t even thinking about it, iwas debt free,i could buy things, everything was amazing!
Then we changed flat and jobs,and for a while i couldn’t find a good place where i could work, our savings started to disappear and found myself in the betting shop again.
Luckily my girlfriend found out about it soon enough to avoid big losses,but still,the biggest thing, gambling me was back again…
This damn thing is just sooo hard to defeat,but i am a fighter,so here i am.
I haven’t been gambling for two weeks,so i can’t say this is my day 1,but this is me trying to live a happy life!

[stilltime]

Good luck and nice to meet you on here. I’m on 30 days currently, just one day at a time though or it can get overwhelming. Keep posting and good luck to you, you can do this.

[vera]

Welcome and well done on starting a Thread on GT, Vilcsogabi.
Looking forward to meeting you in another Group.

[charles]

Well done on your gamble free 2 weeks. You are right, it is hard, bloody hard. The good news though is that you no longer have to do it on your own. You have started the road to recovery, keep posting and I look forward to seeing you progress along that road.

[Vilcsogabi]

Hi everybody!
I have to apologize , i found it really hard to find the time to come here again,and continue my progress on a gamble free life.
I am currently sitting in one of the open groups which is empty..it would have been nice to have a little chat,but at least i have time to write here!
So my last post was 3 weeks and 5 days ago, haven’t touched any slots, betting slips or scratchcards ,nothing,so i am really happy that i was behaving.
Keeping yourself really helps, lots of work, had some good days off with my girlfriend, went to visit Leeds Castle,spent two days there, sleeping in a tent, which was bloody cold lol, trying go ape for the first time(you know the tree top adventure) had really good fun!
The best thing is i hadn’t really been thinking about gambling,sometimes day go by without even thinking about it…sometimes i get the voice in my head, go just a little bet, it will be okay , but i know i must NOT!
It is funny actually, sometimes i am thinking im going mental, having an argument with myself.
I am reading what other people are posting,and it is just terrible, how gambling can destroy lives…what is the most disgusting for me ,that all that so called online casinos and betting shops how disgustingly forcing it onto people with their advertisement, i mean come on,i can’t use the internet without having to close countless pop up advertisements, or when you watching tv late at night there is a casino advert every 2 minutes, it should be all banned in my opinion,why they can’t do the same like they did with the cigarette adverts?because its not bad for your health?i think it is 10 times worse than smoking….
Anyway , that is all from me know, been a long day, tomorrow there is a new one, i will stay strong!!

[Vilcsogabi]

Thank you! i will try my best!
Congrats to your 30 days, it must be almost 60 now!!
keep it up!

[Vilcsogabi]

Hi guys!
It has been a long wile since i last wrote here.
I can say i am very happy because im doing fine,since my last post has not touched any form of gambling,and luckily the craving is avoiding me too.
I had a 6time therapy session with CNWL gambling clinic,and i must say it was really good as im not a big fan of group therapy but this was a one on one and the person i talked to was really nice and helped me a lot.
I learned a lot about why do i gamble and how can i resist,and it felt really good just to talk to someone without being judged.
I can only recommend it to all of you guys,who are having difficulities.
I can not say im healed now and everything is fine,but i feel much stronger and positive about myself,and im sure i will carry on on the road i started.
Everything is good,life is happy again!

[vera]

Great to hear you are gamble free and living a happy life, Vilcsogabi. I remember meeting you in Charles’ group. I wondered what became of you. Thanks for the update. Its good to hear positive stories. I am also Gamble free so far this year. I fact I haven’t gambled since December 2015. It is good to be free! CNWL seems like a good clinic. Maybe you will drop into Charles’ group sometime too.
All the best for a gamble free future. One day at a time.

[Author]

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