[reenergized]

Hello lovely people!

Just thought i would start a little diary here. Did one before but then lapsed. I think im coming to the end of my 20 year habit with slots.

Recently things have got much better but I want to make sure this time it’s for good; to allow me to build up some modest wealth and security.

Started a serious problem when getting heartbroken a few times then failing to form anything close to a relationship subsequently. In one incident the first girl i ever properly kissed and dated, dumped me publicly on a coach full of mutual friends after 3 days! We met under extremely romantic and unlikely circumstances and were a popular couple. There was never any explanation or reason, everyone was utterly shocked and it was really humiliating. I was on the permanent rebound with the pain just eating anyway.

My self-confidence collapsed and i starting having a double life where i was trying to be normal in public but mostly suffering in silence; gambling like a form of self-harm, because i couldn’t believe id been such a failure, so undesirable, to end up so alone.

I ended up single on my 16th, 18th, 21st and 30th, when all i really wanted was a girlfriend – i didn’t give a shit about money. I dropped out of uni after 1st year due to stress, debts and low attendance. By then i was so messed up (inside) that I missed my Grandma’s funeral because of gambling. We were close and she was the stalwart of my Mum’s side.

Hardly anyone who knows me knows the full extent except a few family and close friends. Most people just think im a bit simple because my character, situation and career all seem to be at odds – they can tell something doesn’t quite add up! I’m extremely intelligent, quite fit and talented but permanently single and working in crap jobs for a start.

Anyway thanks for listening. Hope we can all share in advice and support. There are countless stories of people loosing so much through gambling so if you think you’re alone, remember that you’re not!

Peace x

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi reenergized,

Well done on posting. I’m glad to hear things are getting better for you. Strangely maybe the best way to make sure we have quit “for good” is initially not to think about quitting for good! It helps to take thigns one day at a time. Each day we can make the choice not to gamble, to put the thigns in place that make us less likely and less able to gamble. Those days soon add up as we progress in recovery.

Keep posting and tell us about some of the positive things you are doing moving forward.

[3raser]

hi reenergized, I wanted to come and check out your thread and I am glad I did, the similarities that you find on here are overwhelming and you realise you are like so many other people and that there’s hope for all of us. we are going to have setbacks but if the will to succeed is strong enough we as gamblers will keep pushing through. just to be free of an addiction that dictates our whole mood and being and wether we want to be socialable or not has got to be worth the fight, the success stories on here give me hope.

[reenergized]

thanks both for your support and kind comments. Unfortunately I accidentally closed the window of our previous session i it wouldn’t let me back in. Shame as i was curious to hear eraser’s confession!

[Author]

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