[rscs06]

My story. I’ve been gambling for the last 15 years, it started by placing a bet on the horses , which of course won and I was hooked ever since. Horses, dogs, football, Australian football, roulette etc etc you name it

I’ve gone months without having a bet and never really thought I had a problem. I could take it or leave it.

But recently it’s been leaving me really depressed when I lose. I managed to blow 200 quid in space of hours on football and ice hockey yesterday. Money which I was planning to save.

I kinda know that when I feel generally down or isolated I like to fill the void by betting. Trying not to bet when I’ve come into some unexpected money is hard also.

I have this empty feeling inside when I’ve lost a bet, and before you know bet another bet is lost. I’ve been relatively sensible in the fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table etc. I don’t gamble every last penny that’s for sure.

But recently it’s really leaving me depressed. I know it’s gonna be hard to stop completely, the thrill of sitting on a big bet is irreplaceable. I’ve started to keep fit etc and find a different focus but I know deep down I wanna slap £100 on the Football tonight.

Anyway, today is Day 1 of a Gamble free life. I hope by sharing my journey it helps others as well as myself.

[velvet]

<

Hello Rscs and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[rscs06]

Well so far so good. I haven’t had a bet but I’m looking at the football matches and can’t but help think, this would be a good bet and so on.

But I just try to think how I would feel when the bet loses, I would have the urge to chase it to try and when the money back. Off into the town later, hopefully I can avoid putting a bet on the football. Really need something to replace the void of betting.

Hmmm.

[Fritz]

Very good point about filling the void. If we don’t, gambling has a way of dominating our thoughts and demanding our attention, which can lead to falling into the trap again.

It is good to try and remember what we did pre-gambling that we enjoyed, or perhaps pick up a new hobby. Walking is easy and cheap, and helps me to sort things out in my mind. All good things when trying to recover. I have dusted off my bicycle and done a few rides. I will also be trying to grow a few vegetables this summer.

Hope you get hooked on something positive and fun!

[Aaron182]

Hi, I only joined this forum today and this is my very first post. I’ve read a few people’s journals now but yours for me describes my struggles and feelings.

I hope you can fight the urge and replace it with something positive. I need to do the same thing!

Good luck

[rscs06]

Thanks for your comments Aaron and Fritz, it’s nice to know that others are in the same boat. I guess gambling addiction can take a range of forms.

Well, I thought I had it pretty much figured out. I had not even thought about having a bet for a couple of weeks then something inside me clicked and I caved in over the weekend. I had a bet in the horses which got beat by a nose and that really pissed me off.

So I had another bet, lost. By this stage it was just £20 down, not so bad I thought. However, I thought I would chase and stuck £50 on some ice hockey. Lost. Ok I thought, that’s it. But I woke up Saturday determined to get it back, £80 on the football and it lost of course. So a final throw of the dice and £130 quid in another game. Finished 1-1, gutted.

I’d gone from a gamble free, happy few works into blowing £250-£300 in a few hours or so.

I feel embarrased, sick and low. And guilty too, so much guilt. If only my wife/family knew – that would be terrible. Ah well, today is a new week but it would have been better with that money in my account.

[I_Maverick]

You need to block yourself. That’s what I have done. Block all access to funds.

You have done so well to accept you have a problem – do not let it go on any further as it will slowly eat you out from the inside. That’s what is has done to me. I have lost my business, wife, family, self respect etc.

I am now 18 days gamble free, but my thoughts are consumed by the damage I have caused. I am so far from accepting what I have done and the fact I have ruined my life up to this point.

I am hoping this is the moment I can change for the better and start building a new life, one day at a time.

Keep strong, stay posting. We are all here to support you.

[rscs06]

I’ve tried blocking accounts before but I can always open new ones and have a bet.

Well done on the 18 days by the way, it feels like a long road ahead but it’s manageable (I hope).

As for me, I have no desire to gamble today.. Well I would if I had the spare cash and to be honest, even when I win I never am happy with the money. It’s that feeling of sitting on a big bet that is the attraction for me.

Anyway, got a lot to be thankful for and the sun is shining. I must learn to take pleasure from these small moments in life and not sweat the big stuff. Maybe go for a run tonight too, healthy body, healthly mind and all that good stuff.

[rscs06]

I like the other thread where people post the positive things about not betting but it got me playing devils advocate and thinking about what I enjoyed about betting and seeing how I can replace it.

Things I enjoyed about betting.
1. The thrill of sitting on a bet and watching the game/sport.
2. Building a betting bank and thinking about how to increase it.
3. Being right!

Now I just need to get the same enjoyment from something else. Obviously number 2. Is easy – I can just watch my savings grow as anytime I feel like a bet I can put this money into my savings account (3 months notice needed to withdraw it, so it’s safe)

However, the other two points are tough to replicate.

I did think about investing in the stock market. But technically, that’s gambling, right?

Or maybe I need to stop thinking about trying to replace it?

[rscs06]

Well, today was a shit day at work. Felt like an outsider for some reason and it’s given the urge to have a bet.

Gonna try and resist it. But generally feeling a bit low today and that’s when I’m vulnerable to have a bet. Blah.

Getting the running shoes on to change my mood.

[I_Maverick]

I know how you feel. I am having a terrible time – spending my time talking to a business advisor on how to shut my business down. I feel terrible, but at least I am not gambling. It would be so much worse if I was gambling.

You are doing great, stay away from your next bet one day at a time.

[rscs06]

That’s a wonderful saying Harry! Spot on..

Chin up Maverick and thanks for the support.

This evening has been nice, better than work anyway, sat watching the champions league and just enjoying the game without a bet, thinking about it if course but I’m happy enough just watching the match.

[rscs06]

I see what you mean Harry but, to be honest, football is a big part of my life so not watching it would be nigh on impossible.

I don’t feel the urge to bet when in watching it, ironically. As I get too nervous if I’ve had a bet on a match/sport. I tend to keep track of it with score updates. Phone buzzes, goal!! 99% of the bets I made I never watched out of nerves and superstition.

My triggers are usually when I have some spare cash, when I’m feeling isolated or down and sometimes I just get the urge.

Funny as it seems, watching sport never bothers me to have a bet. Other reasons encourage me.

[rscs06]

Well, gone and done it again. Just blew over £200 today in a few hours, lost every bet. Fridays are bad days for me.

[Author]

Posts