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Hey all,
I’m almost 31 , my dad was a gambler all the time I knew him … He wasted all his family future… Until now I blame him for everything… And I swore that I would be never like him…
Last 5 years I put myself into a office and building up well paid career… Hoping someday I will have a normal family and a house .. 1 year ago after 4 years only work and no free time I start up a hobby… Playing online poker… At first you are playing with some savings … then with most of your pay-cheque … then with the whole pay-cheque… At some point 5 days after the pay-cheque you hit the 0… then you start taking chunks of money in advance -salaries , dividends and so…. Then you hook up on big stakes … 1 year later you owe 50k , got 0 savings, ruined company’s future… And during all that time scared of I dont know what I was hiding all that from everyone…
Few weeks ago I was monitored and caught how badly I am in debt…Actually until that point I was not sure even how much bad it is as numbers…
I screw up my company , and my best friend . Thought that it was the worst thing even when I heard from my mother that she doesnt want to hear me anymore until I dont fix all and that she doesnt want to have another person like my father in her life… but was wrong…
One day ago went to my best bud … offering all I could do to fix the things cause I really dont want to be like my father… And he said that I am far away from my father level… He said that I am even worst… cause I screwed not just family but all people around me …
As for the solution of the whole mess I caused … Already take a loan from the bank that covers 40% of what I owe… Starting work with the hope I could return the rest as well…
I already ruined my last 5 years and will spend next 10 in paying my debt …
Def, done with gambling … But I am facing the biggest problem now….
Lost my family… Lost my friend… I put my friend in bad situation too… cause he needs to fix all…and clean the mess after my chaos…
Can not sleep for nights … trying to answer myself , what made me erase all my career life for the last 5 years , and sold out my next 10? Why I spread the pain all around my world , especially after my dad showed me how bad is that feeling?Why I act so self destructive for the last 1 year… And why I never thought how badly I could hurt the people around me by doing it?
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Hello Zdravko and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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Hi Zdravko
Of course you didn’t start online gambling thinking it would hurt your family, your friend or yourself – it seemed harmless and that is the way it is for all those caught out by the addiction to gamble.
You are not worse than your father; you are not your father, you are ‘you’ and you can stop gambling and live a wonderful life if you are determined to be free of the control of your addiction. Nobody can tell you it will be easy but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know and hadn’t seen CGs (compulsive gamblers) turn their lives around and be amazing.
You have temporarily lost your family but that is because you lost ‘you’ first. Join our groups and keep posting; you are not alone and you will be supported as you retake control of your life. When you find yourself again I would imagine your mother will be only too happy to support you – maybe she could join the F&F forum on this site and hear that there is a great deal of hope. Your mother was almost certainly in a great deal of pain when she heard that you were struggling with gambling, she probably felt she was to blame. She needs time to recover from hearing the things she hoped she would never hear just as you need time to recover ‘you’. The best way you can put the smile back on your mother’s face is to do what you are doing – seek support and do things differently today.
Don’t waste time wondering why and ‘if only’ because no amount of wishing will change what has gone. Just for today Zdravko do things that please you and do not involve gambling. You will get support about blocking your gambling sites and you will be heard by many who care.
Well done writing this first post
Velvet -
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Hi zdravko, well done on looking for help.
You are not alone with this problem. Read the other stories here and you will see a lot that you will relate to. You will also
see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?Be careful of those “Def done with gambling….” thoughts. Most of us have had those thoughts but money becomes availabel again and the urges return. Using support here and elsewhere will help.
Which country are you in? There are a lot of financial options around these days, from bankruptcy through to repayment plans, with a lot in between.
Let us know what country you are in and we might be able to point you in the direction of some proper financial advice.
Keep posting.
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Ok, well it is a worldwide problem and there is also a lot of gamlbing in the UK. There is also a lot of support as well, sites like this, places like Gambles Anonymous where you can go for support as well. I see there are GA meetings in Sofia as well if you are near there.
Keep posting.
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You’re right, nothing will be the same.
I know you have hurt your family and friends, unfortunately this addiction doesn’t care who gets hurt.
You have done what you can for now to rectify the situation with your business. I know its daunting, but nothing is un fixable. And while you may have lost your friend and your mum, for now, working hard on yourself to begin recovery is important for you. You are important.
We have all made mistakes, done terrible things in the grips of this terrible addiction. Just worry about today. You cannot control how other people see and feel about you, yes they are angry, but in time, if you work hard, things may turn around. You have blocked yourself from all sites, that’s a great step.
I don’t know if you will find the answer as to why you gambled. I never really have.
Accepting that the money is gone is a very hard thing to do.
All you can do is move forward, take the steps you need to work recovery, life will get better in time.
Take care K xx
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