[ax9722]

Hi everyone,

It’s 05.12 a.m as I’m writing this. Haven’t slept cause I’ve been trying to recover my losses throughout the whole night. I am tired. Not only physically but mentally.

I have been gambling for about 8 years now. Since I started, life has changed, people came and went, I grew up but for some reason never stopped something that was/is obviously bad for me.

I have stopped counting but my losses must be around 60-70k. I’ve had jobs, earned money, and always paid my bills. But the rest was sent down the drain. At 26 years of age, I think it’s time for me to take a step in my life because this sh*t has been holding me by the balls for way too long.

I was quite happy because last year, I completely stopped playing for about 4-5 months. Then my GF left and it’s been downhill ever since. I reached out for help and am seeing a psychologist once a month, but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping at all.

I told everyone, friends and family, I had stopped but no one knows I’m at the lowest point of this addiction I’ve ever been. This feeling of lying to people is horrendous.

I don’t necessarily need answers on how/what to do. I just needed to write my feelings somewhere and this felt like the best place to do it.

I am willing to get better and will do everything to achieve that. I want to build a house and a family, and carrying on like that won’t help these projects.

I’ll keep a daily update on my progress. Both in terms of feeling and money-wise. I think I need it.

Good luck to everyone who’s is the same spot as me. I truly love you, I know how hard it is but we’re gonna make it.

[ax9722]

New log because the thoughts of making my money back are here more than ever. I’m writing this here so that I don’t let this happen.
I have to stay focused, I have plenty of other things to do and this won’t bring me anything other than bad feelings.
Come on Axel stay focused, in your lane, flourishing as they say. Think about tomorrow where you’ll be able to write that you didn’t play for 24 hours. The satisfaction and proudness this will bring to you. Keep it up.

[sjc1]

Hi Ax9722. Appreciate and totally relate to your post. You are in a hellish, lonely place. The lying is the worst element – it compounds every negative emotion that gambling evokes. But – you stopped for a while and you can stop again. Try to hold on to the positive experiences you had when you stopped. Take one day at a time. All we have is today/now focus on getting thru today. Be kind to yourself because you are not alone. We’ve been there too.

[ax9722]

Hi Scj, thanks for your kind message !

It’s officially been more than 24 hours and I can’t express how proud of myself I am. It’s obviously tough but we keep it up. Had a whole day of work and now time to spend some time with my friends around a great meal. Going back to having moments with the lads on a regular basis is something I also plan doing.

Tomorrow will be 48 hours let’s go <3

[ax9722]

Last Bet Placed : 12.02.2025 @ 4.30 am
Days gamble free : 2 and a half days

Finished working at my dad’s to earn some money. Happy to have spent the 2 and a half days off. Tomorrow morning will be 3 whole days. It goes fast. Sunday will be n.4 and so on. Can’t wait to reach week 1. A lot of stuff is happening right now and it keeps my mind away from it, really happy about how I manage to go through these first days, which are the most difficult to go through.

I’m feeling good even if it’s hard. I’ll keep going, I’ve got people around me and a lot of stuff to do that’s better than that.

Love y’all keep fighting !

[ax9722]

Last Bet Placed : 12.02.2025 @ 4.30 am
Days gamble free : 11 days

Nearly on the 2-week mark. Which is a big improvement and something I am very proud of. I had a blast these days with a lot of time on my hands and managed to use it properly. I could even organise a party with my friends for my Birthday with the money I did not spend gambling. It’s easier every day to see the good sides of a gamble-free life !

Let’s keep going <3

[ax9722]

Last Bet Placed : 12.02.2025 @ 4.30 am
Days gamble free : 48 days

The situation is great in terms of “not thinking about it”. Read a great book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, honestly wished I had read it earlier in my life, that might have prevented a lot of my situation to happen. But hey, we’re on the right track so no remorse.

Financially the situation is not at it’s best, I’ve started a school to be able to go to uni, most of my money goes in my day-to-day life and my revenues don’t cover my bills. I’m thinking of writing to my addiction-therapist to know if there’s anything the government can do. Life is good, the sun is back out, we are alive and I made new friends at school, which I didn’t think was possible at 26 years old.

Hope everyone is doing good ! Keep it up 😀

[kathryn]

Hey ax,
Well done on your gamble free time.
The money situation will settle, it took us a long time to get here and it takes a while to sort that out! But you will!
You have youth on your side. I started gambling in my mid 20’s. By the time I finally did something about my addiction i had lost our home and had a huge tax bill, it was a nightmare of my own doing. I can’t say that we ever bought another house, and the way the market is where I live we never will, it is truly one of my biggest financial regrets. I can’t change that. I don’t dwell on it either, I have a pretty good life but it took me years to dig us out of the hole. I had good support here and with my family and friends. I didn’t put myself into any gambling situation. I gave all our financial control to my husband and it’s worked for me.
I hope you’re enjoying that sunshine, isn’t it lovely when your mind isn’t full of ways, means and opportunities to gamble, that is living!!! Sometimes it is the smallest thing that gives us the most joy!
Love K x

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