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Once again I am trying to get off this merry go round and take control of my life. My life has been made up of gambling, lies and more gambling. I want this to stop, I want to learn how to enjoy life. Over the years I have detached from everything but gambling. Last day gambled was 10/14/2011 and first day that I have money again is today. Hoping and praying that I stay away from the casino. Difference between this time and other times when I quit is I have daily went to one of two on-line support sites, entered a chat room a couple of times and trying to reach out for help. Doesn’t matter anymore what I win at the casino, I put it all back plus everytime until my money is gone. I need to post that so I face the truth. I have played all the games of leaving my checkbook and ATM card in the car or at home, doesn’t work. I lose my common sense when I step through the door. I use to go to escape, relax now I walk out feeling bad, stressed. When staff at the casino call you by your first name it is a sign to me I have been there to often. I have forgotten how to live without going to the casino.
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