[Jrosey]

First time writing here. Laying here in my bed knowing I am a compulsive gambler. I’ve lost my entire life savings of over 30000 over the last year. Have talked my family about my problem and still gamble away everything I have and am just about at my rock bottom. Feel sick to my stomach because my grandparents gave me 10000 for tuition and have gambled it away and then some. I am about 30000 in the hole and just cannot stop. I have known I have a problem for over a year and just continue to gamble away every dollar I have to spare away and don’t know what to do. Finally came to this site after google searching “I have lost everything gambling and don’t know what to do”, to make matters even worse. winning 500$ on a standard 4 of a kind in video poker doesn’t even get an adrenaline rush out of me anymore because I’m so far down and I just do not know what to do.

[theone12221]

Hi there, welcome, you’ve taken a good first step to seek help on here. Often times it takes a rock bottom for us to finally realise that we need help and a fresh start.

Losing everything is a typical end result of a gambling addiction. It sounds like you’ve still be gambling recently so at the moment it will be extremely difficult for you to just stop cold turkey.

The first thing you need to do is accept that the money is gone and it’s not coming back. Dwelling on the past is a key trigger that will cause you to have many, many relapses if you are not able to let it go. To help you with this, I would highly recommend self-excluding yourself from all physical and online venues/websites that you’ve gambled on (or might gamble on). If you want further restrictions in place, you can consider getting a loved one to monitor and control your finances for the time being. Any money in your hand right now is money that is highly likely to go straight into funding your addiction.

Now once you have the restrictions and blockers in place, seek emotional support. Attend GA and confide to someone your trust if you can. Getting it off your chest will help you immensely. Keep posting on here and keep track of your progress. We’re all in this together but remember to always be patient…take it one day at a time. Good luck.

[Jrosey]

Came clean to my family today. Decided my mom is gonna hold onto my debit card and I will only use my credit card for purchases so I do not have access to cash. Keep thinking about the amount of money I’ve lost and just feel a bit depressed about the whole situation.

Just have to think about the positives, like that I haven’t lost a house or lost my car or anything like that, but just have no spare money to do things I enjoy. My paychecks as of lately seem like they have gone to bills, then gambling until I’m broke and waiting till my next paycheck. It’s amazing how its taken me this long to really feel like gambling is a losing battle. I’ve never really had a win at all without losing it over the course of the next few weeks.

Luckily I have a job where I can work as much overtime as I want, so I just need to set financial goals and watch my savings grow again to buy a house eventually.

Thanks for any support that is given. Hoping I can stay strong and not do anything stupid.

[theone12221]

Hey man,

Good work on telling your fam and giving over control of your debit card. This is a great start and should be a load off yourself because now you’ve got ppl supporting your recovery. Be careful though CGs typically can always find a way to gamble (cash advance, borrowing/stealing, taking out loans, lying etc.) So perhaps consider self-exclusion as well as a backup safety net.

Yes the money lost and the associated guilt and feelings of despair will be there…just know that the longer you don’t gamble the less of these thoughts you will have. You sound like you are still quite young so use this as an expensive (but early) lesson of why you can never touch gambling again. Know that there are rock bottoms far deeper than where you are at now (keep gambling and debt, loss of family/job/health/possessions/sanity will await). Remember the pain of what gambling has done to you next time you feel an urge. Let this be the day you decide gambling will not take anything else from you ever again. Don’t say “hoping” – your mindset must be “I know I will not gamble again” to truly stop. If you feel like you cannot control it the addiction will without a doubt lure you back in. Remember ultimately you are in control of your actions…you are not a “victim”. Good luck with day 2.

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