[isurrender]

Hi everyone ..
I am new to this forum, have been reading it for months and like many, am fed up with the hustle and bustle that is associated with gambling.. in particular to me.. electronic gaming machines.. the damn pokies
I grew up with great parents, a great childhood, i lived the most of my adolescent life having everything provided for.. My parents were regular gamblers. I can still remember the pain and stress caused by their gambling, the countless arguments, and how i grew up resentng anyone who gambled.. I said to myself i would never become one of them.
I started to gamble when i was 18, failed many university subjects as the lure of gambling planted itself in. Over the next 6 years i had many great wins, met with many many more devastating losses and low points. i have vowed constantly over and over never to return and of course always returned within days or weeks. i have blamed everyone but myself for my addiction. 
I have self excluded myself and have remain clean, but i know its always going to be one day at a time. The urge to gamble is always lingering in the back of my mind when payday arrives.. I have slowly figured out my triggers and found that I gambled (often large amounts) when i became stressed with work or had relationship stress. This often led to a late drive to a pokie venue only 2 minutes away and it gave me a chance to become worry free. I felt that in the pokies nobody knew me, and it was just me and the machine for the next few hours.
Pokies to a large extent is a tax on the poor. The poor know no better, I live in an area where 6 pokie venues are within 5-10 minutes drive. Put the pokies in venues where there are lower class citizens so the government can get there welfare money back. It disgusts me the governments inability to cater or show any regard for the pain and grief gambling causes in strive for revenues. Divorces, fathers, mothers who no longer know or can afford to look after their children. The governmeny have a love affair with pathologica gamblers, their new pre-committmet technology setting how much a pokie player is willing to lose is only a bandaid solution to trick society into believing they are helping us. How many of us are desperate enough to go out and gamble while its raining outside, go to another atm at another venue because you maxed your withdrawl limit! I refuse to give any more of my hard earned dollar, as switched on as i may think i am, i’ve blown many paychecks before me and gone weeks on end living for the next pay day. 
I am however, greatful that i have a loving girlfriend who i want to spend the rest of my life with, but even i know its only fair for me to beat this addiction as only then will i be able to give her 100% of me. She is the best thing in my life and without her i would only have half the strength to carry on. She reminds me of who i used to be.
This is a message to all and I hope my story has helped someone out there.
Thank you for reading.. i look forward to hearing from you guys and appreciating any comments you may have.. 🙂

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