[Debtfreeisthewaytobe]

Today is my first day actually of being a recovering gambling addict. I have lost thousands, stolen from my family, lied, and lived with a tremendous amount of guilt due to all the harm gambling has inflicted on my life. I dream of a world debt free and bet free. I now truly understand you can’t win in gambling and even if your a lifetime winner you still lose because of the time wasted in casinos. I know few who are actually winners but I know some and they smoke like chimneys or drink like fish so really their speeding up the day to lay in peace sooner than they normally mey have. Ghandi said something of the extent, A man will sacrifice his health for wealth then spend his wealth trying to get back his health. That’s deep. I mean when I play, I go balls to the wall meaning I will get absolutely shit faced intoxicated normally while I’m winning then by sunrise I’m completely drunk and broke and smoke 10 black and milds in 1 DAY!!!

The problem I feel most gamblers have when they are trying to quit is the influx of emotions that take over you once you realize your not ever going to be a winner. That anger is the main ingredient that sets most of us off course but you have to contain it and my best advice for containing it is understand that if you make it in the long haul without betting you will be a happier person and no matter what it’s only 24 hours in day so just because your angry today because of what you did in the past, tomorrow you will feel better especially if you don’t gamble today. I have been a complusive gambler for 9yrs but now I realize that quitting is really not that hard if you REALLY WANT to quit, you just have to develop a HATE for gambling and stop thinking it’s what you love doing because really it’s not it’s just become routine to you. As complusive gamblers we dwell on the fact that we can never gamble again and that freaks us out because you say to yourself but I love gambling it’s something I enjoy doing I can’t imagine never placing another bet ever but do you really love gambling? I for sure thought I did; but after nine years I really thought about that question in depth then answered truthfully I REALLY DONT LOVE GAMBLING I actually kinda hate it it takes all my money I sit a poker table with people I don’t care about or play blackjack knowing the house will win in the long run. What? I really hate gambling!! Say it again out loud “I REALLY HATE GAMBLING” now SHOUT IT “I REALLY HATE GAMBLING” And I say that and truly mean it now before I would say I wanted to quit but In the back of head I knew I didn’t but now the thought of casinos kind of makes me sick to my stomach. Some would say how come all of a sudden you hate gambling.? I will tell you why, I have gambled everything you can think except ponies and slots never got into those forms of gaming because no skill involved and I just knew those games were dumps. Sports betting-lifetime loser craps-lifetime loser poker-lifetime loser(although I did have two consecutive winning years hourly turned out to be only 11hr-terrible and when you consider the amount of tobacco I smoked I probably lost two years off my life) blackjack-lifetime loser baccarat-lifetime loser. That’s how I developed this hate I took all my self neglect and angry towards myself and put it towards the thing I should be angry at the games. See why I hate gambling now I was honest with myself in all facets I’m a loser when it comes to gambling and the irony is I hate losing so if I hate losing I should hate gambling because all I do is lose no matter how much I’m up so by not gambling I’m winning and I love winning in life plus with your new found state of mind you will shock those around you by not gambling and even those gambling buddies will start to envy you because chances are there losing too but can’t muster up the courage to quit like you. This is the motivation I am using to beat my addiction.

IM not using GA because I find GA try’s to strip you of your identity and it makes you feel like some sick powerless person and by no disrespect I know gambling is a disease and I’m not shaming those who go but I just can’t commit to being so powerless and using some of their terminology because it creates a weak minded mentality my personal opinion there. I try not to say I’m sick that’s such an excuse gamblers tend to lean on. Now I say I was a fool for continuing to try and beat the odds I succumb to the fact That me personally I can’t win. I am strong minded individual who knows you can do anything you put your mind too I watch my dad cold turkey stop smoking crack when I was 10 go back to get his masters and become a principal no rehab no relapse or nothing. someone asked him how he did it awhile back and he replied I just did it because I wanted to and I had too. True champion. Sorry for the rant but back to the gambling really only the first pay cycle is hard (if you have a job) because your forced to go to work broke and thoughts of never gambling ever again start to consume your brain and it becomes hard to concentrate but once you get paid that all goes away and you feel amazing but remember this if you gamble that check and lose it, it will most certainly make you lose your sanity all over again. Best of luck to all recovering gamblers

Till next time
K

[velvet]

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Hello Debtfree and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
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