[Patriot]

Hi I am Patriot, i have gambling problems obviously and i really need to take everything out of my stomach because it is killing me. I come from a poor country , Kosovo ( southeast Europe ) i am telling you this because i lost 7000 Euros in the last year and that is like 70 000 Euros in Uk, Germany or in any western country. That is mainly because an average monthly salary here is 300 Euro. I am 21 years old, i finished high school 2 years ago and went straight to Germany to live with my sister and learn german language. I was taking a gap year so that i could learn the language and start studying there….. I started working there as a student and my salary was around 450 Euros/month (mini job). I figured that would help me with the language as i had constant interaction with natives (at home i was speaking only albanian ) and i could also save some money that i could use later when i start University. I was saving all of it , i didnt have to pay the rent nor the food … nothing at all. All i needed was like 20-30 Euros as pocketmoney. I was learning i was studying and i was in a way happy that i finally left KOSOVO, only people from poor countries will understand me here. BUUUUT everything ended 3 months after i got there, i didnt tell you guys that i had gambling problems before too, but in smaller amounts and that wasnt even qualified as a problem, maybe addiction but not a problem. When i went to germany i understood that i was actually addicted but i just didnt have the money to bet. Anyways this is taking too long i am jumping from a story to another story.. After 3 months in Germany i had saved around 1000 Euros. One day after the course a friend asked me if i wanted to go to a bookie as it was saturday and put 2 euros on a betting slip…. As you may guess i could not be happier to have found the betting houses in Munich too .. A week after that day i had no money in my bank, not even a single pennie on my wallet and i ended up leaving my phone on a , Leihhaus, ( maybe Borrowhause in English ??! ) for 300 Euros, that was like the half of its value. after 2 days i had to tell my sister everything because she was asking me for my Phone. At first she went crazy she could not believe what i have done but later she started supporting me , she paid for the course and even got my iphone back… I wasnt happy though , just the idea of knowing how lame i am, and what my sister thinks of me made me sick. I could not study i could not eat and i was depressed actually … After 2 months i left my phone again on a Leihhaus, this time for 250 Euros. I figured i would bet on odd 4-5 go get my phone back and still have like 700 Euros. And guess what , exactly that happened but i wasnt happy again that i won. I had won like half of my losses from the last time but still i could not go to my sister and say, hey sis i won tonight here is 700 euros, thanks for helping me last time.. I ended up losing that money the very next day, i lost also a 100 euros i had on me before selling the phone and i sold my phone AGAIN , for the third and final time… This time i didnt win and i lost my phone too. Instead of worrying about exams that i had to pass in order to be able to study in Germany, i was losing time to lose my money on gambling. I failed my exams and my visa was over so i had to come back to Kosovo. July 2015.. Kosovo, … I had no idea what to do next. I was not crying about my money but about my career that i had blown away. And i had potential as i kid, i was in a private Highschool in Kosovo with 100 % Scholarship ( 4000 Euros / Year ) There is no way my parents could afford that. But even though i did not pass the german language test i still could speak fairly good ( B2 level ) so i started working in a German Call Center in Kosovo. My loan is around 400 Euros, that is more than my mothers salary who btw is a nurse. But still i hate my job, and the worst thing is that i am working for the betting houses in Prishtina . Not a single euro goes in my pocket, every month when it is pay day i go and lose all my money, sometimes i win a little but somehow end up losing all the money the next days. And i borrow money too, i steal money from home and i run out of people to borrow money too. I dont know what to do anymore. I have had enough of this shitty life i have done in the last 2 years. The fact that i could have been in Germany now, waiting for the 3rd semester to start is killing me. Three weeks ago my sister came for vocations, she had bought me a new samsung phone. ( galaxy a5 2016 ), it is worth 300 Euros. And she gave it to me with one condition. I had to call her every day. i knew what that meant she knew that if i called her every day from VIBER i still had my phone. IF NOT I HAD SOLD MY PHONE…And yes only one week after she went back to germany that is what i did. My parents are now looking at me as if i was a criminal…. My mother trying to help me out but she did that a lot in the past by giving me money to cover my losses so that noone finds out . But now she is like, these times are over young man. Start to be responsible for your actions I have been working from home since 2 months as HOME AGENT, and the worst thing is that after i sold my laptop 3 weeks ago(for gambling of course ) i borrowed one from a friend. He wants the laptop back now , because i asked for a few days and not a few YEARS. And I owe like 1000 Euros to friends and relatives and even 100 Euros to my mother, and i am willing to work for 3-4 months just to give them their money back. it is not that i was saving in the last 10 months from my salary, so instead of continuing on losing i should give them their money. But how am i going to work withouuut a laptop ! I wish i would not exist at all, damn you gambling you destroyed my life that is why i am really determined on quitting gambling. Hopefully i can stop, because that is not the first time i say it.

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